Thursday, May 11, 2017. I haven’t been writing here often, not because I have nothing to say – but because I have too much to say.
Living, thinking and acting are interactional, multi-level, interconnected, multi-dimensional experiences. One thing is certain: We are all living upon this planet together. We are one human family. We are learning this personally and collectively.
The big questions then become, “What can I offer to the betterment of humanity? What talents and capacities do I have that I can contribute in service to others?”
Humans are evolving creatures. Life moves forward. What do we learn from our personal and collective past that is useful in building a better life for self and others – for ALL?
Oddly, it seems to me, the supposed uniqueness and independence attributed to American people has been turned in use against us. Capitalism thrives on convincing us that selfish pursuits are in our best interest. Following down this path impedes positive collective transformation toward a better world and a better future for all – within our national boundaries and around the globe.
The more that self-centered patterns infiltrate our existence the more spiritual disease cripples our hopes of joyful living. We humans, as members of one human family, CAN overcome the ‘dysfunctional elements’ that are NOT carved into stone!
If I take a ‘upper level’ perspective on traumas during childhood that continue most often to harm people across their lifespan, I see that the absence of healthy people who CARE and are informed and who ACT on the behalf of ‘the disadvantaged’ are actually at least equally to blame, equally at fault, as are the ones who directly – through abuse/neglect – harm those who are the most precious of our human resources.
Ignorance is not bliss. It is not an excuse. Apathy destroys.
At the same time, I doubt that it will be through shaming, blaming, criticizing or judging that humanity – anywhere – will move forward toward increasing collective well-being and maturity.
I have struggled over time to define and refine my personal perspectives on resilience and resiliency. It seems that I have to come up from UNDER this concept to understand it, rather than coming at it from ABOVE. ABOVE — I suggest — is a merely cerebral mentally-based (disembodied) approach rather than being a grassroots BODY-based (embodied) angle.
At this point I believe we LIVE resiliency. I am in the middle of thinking through what I might be able to offer this new community I have chosen to be a part of toward improved hopes for the younger generations.
I am thinking A LOT about intergenerational motherhood.
Mothers not only bring children into the world, we are also the first educators of the human race. What we KNOW, what we DO, on every level down to the directions we give to our offspring’s DNA operations, we teach to those we bring into the world.
Yes, ALL others are in some way connected in this process, but it is the comprehensive environment we create and sustain within which mothering happens that determines the overall levels of health and well-being for our species.
So, ultimately, resiliency is about resources available to mothers so that they can use these resources to ‘feed’ their offspring – true on every possible level.
As I work through my own potentials to contribute to increased well-being of those around me, I think a lot about how the contributions of intergenerational motherhood can be better recognized and utilized between women in the area where I live.
I am hearing incredible stories from grandmothers and great grandmothers who are raising very young children due to breakdowns in social ordering among those women who bring these little ones into the world. These breakdowns are directly connected to the social breakdowns that seem to be destroying the men who father these children (along with a following successive line of ‘broken’ boyfriends).
Well, yes, there are hosts of hosts of troubles, trials, traumas. Yet what matters most to me right now in real time are the incredible strengths that are – no matter what – creating triumphs in these people’s lives.
By rising to the level of metaphor I can free myself to explore information on more of a macro level. For example, if I think of resiliency in terms of immune system responses — and elevate my thinking about “immune system” to a very big and broad level having to do with how and why our human species has endured this long – I can begin to think in terms of all the miracles of human existence that so far override our troubles that I can begin to KNOW solutions are available to ALL of us – together – to resolve and solve difficulties.
Given my extreme history of abuse, I do not make these statements lightly. I do look for new information to inform my perspectives, and I make use of what I find in as creative a way as possible.
An example: This week I attended a free movie with my neighbor at our public library. It was a PBS NOVA show that perhaps many readers have seen called “Decoding the Neanderthals.”
From my personal perspective, it is the most amazing affirmation of human survival that our species seems to have bred out the Neanderthals over a span of 10,000 years. Researchers have discovered that Neanderthals gave us immune system DNA that meant we could then fight off pathogens in our new northern environment that were completely foreign to our species.
Evidently every human descended from ancestors who left Africa millennia ago have some percentage of Neanderthal genes. We carry those ancient ancestors within us.
So, in closing I will simply state that we CAN open our hearts and minds to new possibilities for healing and growth we might otherwise never be able to imagine – or think about. We live in a wondrous world. We are wondrous creatures who co-create life – even on our molecular levels – in every nanosecond we are alive here – together!
(I am working with a wonderful friend and lifelong resident of this area (herself a 74-year-old great grandmother raising her age 5 and 6 great grandchildren) toward creation of a ACE Motherhood Group — to Affirm, Celebrate, Encourage — the beauty and resourcefulness of generational (inter-generational) mothering (motherhood).)
Here is my first book out in ebook format as it provides an outline of the conditions of my malevolent childhood. Click here to view or purchase–
Story Without Words: How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?
It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge. A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.
Tags: adult attachment disorders, adult reactive attachment disorder, anxiety disorders,borderline mother, borderline personality disorder, brain development, child abuse,depression,derealization, disorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorder, empathy, infant abuse, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factors, PTSD, resiliency, resiliency factors, risk factors, shame