Today, February 27, 2010, I went looking for these pages in my computer, thinking that I wrote them in an ongoing documentation of my breast cancer treatment process, but I see that I did not. I was diagnosed and began the cancer treatment with a wicked regime of chemotherapy July 2007 that ended in December 2007 right before Christmas when I had my double mastectomy. These pages began right after then, and followed their own course until one day in July 2008 when I simply STOPPED their writing the day before my final Herceptin cancer treatment. Whatever these pages contain relates to who and how I was exactly during that time of my life and I am not editing them today. (My sister first gave me the idea and encouraged me to start my blog April 2009, so these writings I am posting were written well before blog-thought entered my mind.)
I think all infant-child abuse survivors are some kind of shaman, or ‘medicine’ people. Unfortunately that survivorship can go terribly awry, as it did for my mother. In these writings I identify myself as being enough of a shaman that I not only survived my mother’s terrible 18 years of abuse of me from birth, but am still alive today at age 58.