First in this post I would like to thank each and every person who has visited my Stop the Storm blog over the years of its existence. On this last day of 2012 the count of readers has crossed over 200,000. More than any other accolade, any other ‘expression of approval’, the blog count itself assures me that many people are questioning the existence of trauma in their past and in their present life. What matters most to me is that each of us is coming to the very correct conclusion that most trauma that we experience does not NEED to exist. What continues to keep trauma present in our life is that we, as members of the great human family, have not yet learned how to make trauma stop.
It is my belief from my own abuse experience in childhood that the trauma that was passed down to me came from somewhere — somehow. It is my best guess that this is the reality for all infant and child abuse survivors. Where did that abusive trauma come from? And why?
What turns along the life path of our abusers led them to return violence, violation, harm, terror, abuse and trauma to the next generation of little ones? What alternative route did those of us who have so suffered take that led us to NOT pass down the trauma directly to our own children? What are these patterns connected to if not to the conditions — both internal and external — that carried us each into our own future?
While it might seem silly for me to state that everyone who finds their way to this blog is alive. This fact is true. Obviously. But I mean ALIVE in a very important way. People who find their way to this blog have kept their hope alive. They have kept their belief intact that there is some kind of underlying if not overriding reason why the suffering in their life and in the lives of those they care about ever happened in the first place. This makes us all fellow travelers along the pathways of the villages we live in — and along the pathways that connect our villages — in a journey to understand what ongoing, unresolved trauma has to teach us.
Of all the purposes behind the writing of my book Story Without Words, it is my purpose to find a way to conduct myself most productively through my search for the origin of the horrible abuse that fell onto me from my mother that has motivated me most profoundly. No amount of anger would have led me where I needed to go. No desire for revenge or for retailiation, no scant idea that by exposing the flaws within my mother I could find a freedom in the least from the lifelong consequences of what Mother’s abuse did to me would have motivated me to write the exact words I did for this book.
Surviving horrible trauma, especially abusive trauma that was perpetrated by the very people in our earliest life who were supposed to love and care for us, leaves us with troubles untold at the same time it leaves us with a gift. It was obviously not our abusers who possessed the gift to search everywhere and every way possible to find out what creates patterns of ongoing suffering in self and in families. It is those who find their way to this blog and to all other helpful information they can find that DO have the gift motivated by a desire to find a way to MAKE RIGHT what has gone so WRONG.
We might not be able to find all the answers to the questions we are asking, but we know we are on the right track. All the answers do not exist yet because it will take all of us to both discover the right questions and to create the solutions. ALL of us. That means those of us who have suffered must be joined in our concerns with those who have not suffered. If we raise our eyes and our hearts and our thoughts up high enough to see more and more of the bigger picture our search for an end to suffering throught trauma will increasingly include the suffering of people of all ages that live all over this amazing globe we name our home.
Perhaps it is egotistical of me to say that there are sojourners along the journey to find truth who are moving in the right direction compared to people who are not interested in the truth and could not care less about the suffering of others and thus are moving in the opposite direction.
It is therefore some kind of compassionate bond that the truth-seekers have with one another that keeps us in flow with finding ways to build a better life for ourselves and for others (including all life on this planet). It is an honor for me to be accompanied by everyone who cares — and I know this includes everyone who has ever passed over the pages of this Stop the Storm blog. Thank you!
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