Motives – hidden or blatant?  It is not my motive to ‘bad mouth’ my mother as I work toward publication of this story of her abuse of me – of her mental illness – of the TRUTH as I can perhaps discover and elucidate it.

Where is the truth hidden in our nation?  How is it that speaking ILL of perpetrators makes the survivor who dares to speak up — to utter the words about what happened and about how that mattered — a truth-saying villain?

My work is not about vilifying anyone, but neither is it about soft-shoeing around what SOMEONE needs to say!  There are patterns to madness – and there are patterns to abuse.  Detection and study of these patterns COULD be helpful.  I sure don’t see that this work can be HURTFUL.

But to some people — it is.  To some people, those of us who dare to think and write about and search for and discover and try to learn learn learn about what harms especially infants and children — those of us who speak the truth as we reach and work for learning — can often be told in all kinds of ways that WE are defective!

Defective in what ways, exactly?

Defective that we don’t have “A full life” (read a “good life,”  a “better than you have – what’s wrong with YOU life” – Shame shame!)?  Defective that we dare to go against THIS social rule?  “If, on the other hand you ever have anything positive to say about anyone do not hesitate to” — say it?

And how is the rest of the story supposed to read?


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  1. I wonder if it is worth exploring the notion of intent behind actions experienced as abusive e.g., what was that person intending to achieve through their action???

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