2009 March Astrology Reading On My Emotions

Zane’s Page

Transcribed from tape of telephone consultation

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Return to *Age 57 – March 2009 (whole text) Astrological Reading About My Emotions

Or refer to individual sections:

MY DIFFERENT KIND OF LOGIC

MY FEELING DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE

MY MARS AND JUPITER:  BEING A TEACHER

POTENTIAL AND PSYCHOLOGY

SUMMARY AND CONCLUSION

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MY EMOTIONS

Part of your chart when it comes to understanding your emotions and all the things that are connected with them is this Moon – Pluto conjunction [on top of, together with].  The key probably to understanding Moon – Pluto, we’ll have to break it down I guess.

You have the Moon in Leo, and the Moon in basically emotions and feelings and comfort zone and security and Leo ordinarily would be a Moon where you need a lot of response in order to express your feelings and you would receive comfort and feel secure by the feedback that you got from them.  It’s a very much interactive sign.  You don’t normally see a Moon in Leo person that would be like a hermit, for example, because there’s a need to express your feelings and have a response back.

[10-2009 Linda note:  Being a hermit is exactly what I am at this point in my life.  It has been hard for me to understand why this is.  Part of the severe abuse I experienced in my childhood was about being isolated A LOT.  I have know part of what I experience today comes from that.  But Zane is saying it is something more.]

With the conjunction to Pluto there’s an entirely deeper aspect to this because Moon conjunct Pluto shows that you have some very intense, very powerful emotions that are so deep that you can’t really share them.  The image that I get in my mind, have you ever heard the saying that an iceberg is mostly beneath the surface?  OK.  This is Moon conjunct Pluto.  In other words you have a depth of feeling that would probably amaze anybody who knows you if they were ever to find out just how deep your feelings are.

That’s problematic because your need with the Moon in Leo is to express the feelings, but there’s a lot of energy invested in keeping an element of, should we say, privacy here.  You can only show your true feelings to people that you trust, without any reservations.  So the more you trust somebody the more you would be able to show your feelings, but it’s very difficult to imagine a situation where you could trust somebody so totally that you open up completely.

So you have this vast reserve, and part of it has to do with the abuse.

You have the abusive childhood which is where a lot of this comes from.  You’ve got feelings swirling around in there of hurt, anger, of anger, pain and stuff like that and this is if nothing else one of the main reasons why there is such an issue with trust and why you can’t just open up and express yourself with just anybody, and least of all in any kind of a casual situation.

But a lot of the confusion comes from the fact that this is all focused in the 11^th house and you have Aquarius on the 5^th house and it’s kind of like an inversion here.  All of your signs are kind of like on the reversed houses.  That’s what happens when you have Libra rising.  So you have Leo on the house that is home for Aquarius, Aquarius on the house that’s home for Leo, and when a person has a Libra rising their on this world in this lifetime for the purpose of interacting with other people.  Your whole destiny, your whole focus is to work with other people, interact with other people.  And with Uranus and the top of the chart, which is one of the two rulers of Aquarius, you have a need to bring about change.

All right, so the 11^th house is the house not just of friends and acquaintances and groups and stuff like that which is what you read most commonly, but it’s also the house of what we do after a success, what we do after a failure, and what we choose to do next.  Everything in the 11^th house is acutely aware of each success and each failure and stirs the person to go further.

Some people with a strong 11^th house become so wrapped up in some kind of group situation so that they can lose themselves in it and lose their sense of who they are because it’s easiest to do that.  But with your chart that would be the equivalent of kind of like a living death to lose your self.

So not only do you have this powerful need with Uranus in the 10^th house to bring about change of some kind, but with the strong emphasis on the 11^th house your kind of instinctual, emotional reaction – you take failures extremely personally, you are very much in tune with shall we say the people around you and what they’re going through, their successes, their failures and their sufferings.

And then you have Saturn and I say this because no matter how accurate our data is for our birth it’s possible we may be off a minute or two because we don’t know if somebody looked at the clock at the exact moment you were born or at the next available moment or something like that.  But you have Saturn in the 12^th [house] but it’s conjunct the ascendant.  So for all intents and purposes you have Saturn conjunct the ascendant.

Saturn is basically the planet that says, “This is what is right.  This is what is just.  This is what is fair.”  You have a very powerful need to see, shall we say, justice done, to see that injustices are righted, wrongs are righted.  So you have the two planets that rule Aquarius, Uranus and Saturn, are so strong in your chart – one being at the top and one being on the ascendant that in a lot of ways you are almost like an Aquarian yourself.

The 5^th house is not the house of hopes and wishes as you mentioned.  The 11^th house is the house of hopes and wishes.  The 5^th house is creativity and self expression.  And the correlation between the 5^th and the 11^th is in the 5^th house a person does something, with the 11^th house of “I hope I get such and such response from what I do in the 5^th house.”

So the two houses are interconnected.  You can’t have one without the other any more than you can have a car with the right tire going in a different direction than the left one on the same axle.  They are interconnected.  So your 5^th house says that your greatest self expression comes through Aquarian things which is trying to bring about some kind of change, trying to move into the future, but especially breaking free from any kind of chains, any kind of restrictions, things like that.  So the rulers of your 5^th house are very strong, again Saturn and Uranus, so you need to be doing things where you’re actively trying to create new ways for people to deal with their problems.  You need to actively express yourself as an individual.

With all of the Leo in the 11^th house you need to interact with groups of people, with a lot of people.  The energy that is buried inside you with all of your deep emotions that I mentioned in the beginning is a potential energy that can stir you into helping a lot of other people.  Basically, the way I see it, you can’t really free up any frozen energy if you focus simply on yourself.  It is freed up when you tap your memories of what happened to you on an emotional level and use that to help other people who have problems.

Now you have that strong 12^th house so basically in addition to the 11^th house being strong the house that follows it is also strong.  And again, the 12^th house you see all sorts of negative connotations but a lot of people don’t realize that the 12^th house is the rewards one gets from helping other people.

Have you ever heard of an astrologer by the name of Dean Rudger {spelling?}?  He’s a very well renowned astrologer and wrote many, many books and unfortunately he’s passed on.  But to give you an idea of the 12^th house one of the things that he said was that you find people with a strong 12^th house are those that win, for example, the Nobel Prize, because there is an acute awareness how things will end and also an acute awareness of the sufferings of other people and wanting to find a way to help other people with their sufferings.

What you’ve got, Linda, is you’ve got in this life, and this is of course if you believe in reincarnation or not the only life we can focus on is the one we’re living in, in this life you’re at your best and you have the greatest release of your abilities when you are working to help other people to deal with any kind of problems.  You’re at your best when you can help people to deal with their own pain or to help free people from restrictive situations.  So you need to be basically always kind of shall we say a proactive person.

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