Tuesday, March 14, 2017.  WOW I think a lot, and I really REALLY miss having collaborators to talk things out with.  I have for a very long time known that conversations of substance and value with others helps me complete thoughts so I don’t just chase tails of ideas — alone — that struggle to put themselves into useful context.

Useful context.  WOW that is a critical piece, evidently, of who I am.  Of HOW I need to be in the world.

Just a moment ago the thoughts that led me to my computer to write this blog post had to do with pausing to wonder why I so often think of A STORM as a BAD thing!  I was thinking about this ALONENESS I feel right now without any compatriots, no collaborators, to help me with the “Big Plan” that hatched itself 9 days ago in my being — as far as I can tell — out of nowhere.  I was thinking that maybe this alone feeling is a kind of pause before the storm.  A calmness before the storm.  Like at a race starting line.  Right up to THAT MOMENT WHEN~!!!!!

I would guess, if I can back away from fear and a kind of panic at my aloneness right now, that ‘where’ I am right now is part of creativity.  Part of creative process.  Hence?  A part of life.  Of living an intentionally creative life.

I have periodically examined my thoughts about chaos and trauma over at least three decades now.  My boiling-down process left chaos simply as a state where ANYTHING is possible (primary state of our right social-emotional right limbic brain when it’s left alone in its own juices to ‘non-think’ for itself).  ANYTHING.

To me chaos as a state, therefore, is nothing but ‘full of potential, full of possibilities’.

Very often language in words is not an easy part of my creative process.  Making things out of stuff with my  hands is a much more comfortable process, it seems, than working to make something appear out of my passion reflected in ideas like THIS one.

So, I will give a little overview of what I am planning to make happen in this little town of 11,000 people.


One Global Family Creative Arts Team

A community grassroots drop-in studio for fun creative activity

FREE – ALL ages welcome!
– (children must be with responsible caregivers)
– basic supplies provided 
– Donations of and for art supplies appreciated!

Dedicated to —

Encouraging, supporting & showcasing the talents of children, youth & their families, along with community people – in arts & crafts, photography & video, music & dance, writing & poetry, public speaking & drama, sewing & fashion, cooking & gardening — along with leadership & service to others & the world!

To be held Sundays beginning May 7, 2017 from 11:30 to 2:30 pm in the Community Room of the Market Cafe


This idea that has come to me  is connected to the fact that I am a Nationally Registered Art Therapist, MA in Art Education – in this case making use of my skills with an effort toward creating self-healing community and providing resiliency opportunities — which is tied so closely to everything in this video – Adverse Childhood Experience: ACES — Laura Porterhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHH37ia6Wc8

I especially want to encourage the higher ACEs families to come enjoy this opportunity.  The Food Co-op which is offering the room space free is mostly white.  There is a very large Hispanic population here.  This great mostly organic Co-op food is EXPENSIVE, and large portions of the population here is very poor.  They cannot shop at the place where this space exists.  This bothers me, and I don’t know (yet) what to do about this problem.  Are poor people, to put is most simply, going to feel at all comfortable coming to an event held where the not-very-poor (mostly white) people shop while they cannot?

I also wanted to have an attractive, very positive information table present at these creative events, which will include SOMETHING I can come up with to present the CDC ACE info.  I searched the town today to find parenting classes and other parenting support information.  So far I have come up empty handed!!  The people at the public mental health center looked as open-mouthed dumbfounded at my questions for parenting class resources as the people at the co-op were when I asked them about the vast cultural and economic disparities in their shoppers and co-op members.

Frustrated, but not dissuaded.  I am so hoping to find some collaborators to help with this project — on every level!  There is a great resource here in an excellent small charter school (6th – 12th grade).  So many kids want to get into that school that they have to hold a lottery where the lucky few get to share in a great opportunity others do not have.

But, I hear, one of the key aspects of this school is their strong emphasis on students performing community service.  I actually think there is NOTHING that will need to be done in terms of graphic design, advertising process, set up and take down, working on collections of art supply donations, dispensing invitations within the community, welcoming, assisting children and their families — that THIS group of community members cannot do!  *And hopefully these students (with or without my direct effort) will come up with ways to invite others to assist them from the public schools!

School is out on break this week, so NEXT week I will begin to investigate this hopeful option.  I also think those students will be able to think about the economic disparities and the cultural divisions in this area very competently, creatively, and perhaps even eagerly!

Meanwhile I HAD to talk to SOMEBODY – and dear readers — that is why this post exists!  Thank you for reading!






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Here is my first book out in ebook format as it provides an outline of the conditions of my malevolent childhood.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.


Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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