Wednesday, May 18, 2016.  NOTE:  This list was deleted from the newer 2010 edition of this book.  I found it incredibly helpful to me in “nailing down” what was wrong with my abusive, psychotic mentally ill mother.

Here is the link to my first post on this list – and my Mother.  It took me another year for the reality of the terrible PSYCHOTIC nature of her illness to crystallize in my thinking, especially as it created her insane abuse of me (see my book’s link at bottom of this post for more info):



43 characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder

From:  Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul Mason MS and Randi Kreger (Jan 2, 2010)

Thoughts That May Indicate BPD

Does this person:

 (1) — Alternate between seeing people as either flawless or evil?  Have difficulty remembering the good things about a person they’re casting in the role of villain?  Find it impossible to recall anything negative about this person when they become the hero?

(2) — Alternate between seeing others as completely for them or against them?

(3) — Alternate between seeing situations as either disastrous or ideal?

(4) — Alternate between seeing themselves as either worthless of flawless?

 (5) — Have a hard time recalling someone’s love for them when they’re not around?

(6) — Believe that others are either completely right or totally wrong?

(7) — Change their opinions depending upon who they’re with?

(8) — Alternate between idealizing people and devaluing them?

(9) — Remember situations very differently than other people, or find themselves unable to recall them at all?

(10) — Believe that others are responsible for their actions — or take too much responsibility for the actions of others?

(11) — Seem unwilling to admit a mistake — or feel that everything that they do is a mistake?

(12) — Based their beliefs on feelings rather than facts?

(13) — Not realize the effects of their behavior on others?


Feelings That May Indicate BPD

Does this person:

(14) — Feel abandoned at the slightest provocation?

 (15) — Have extreme moodiness that cycles very quickly (in minutes or hours?)

(16) — Have difficulty managing their emotions?

(17) — Feel emotions so intensely that it’s difficult to put others’ needs — even those of their own children — ahead of their own?

(18) — Feel distrustful and suspicious a great deal of the time?

(19) — Feel anxious or irritable a great deal of the time?

(20) — Feel empty or like they have no self a great deal of the time?

(21) — Feel ignored when they are not the focus of attention?

(22) — Express anger inappropriately or have difficulty in expressing anger at all?

(23) —  Feel that they never can get enough love, affection, or attention?

(24) — Frequently feel spacey, unreal, or out of it?

Behaviors That May Indicate BPD

Does this person

 (25) — Have trouble observing others’ personal limits?

(26) — Have trouble defining their own personal limits?

(27) — Act impulsively in ways that are potentially self-damaging, such as spending too much, engaging in dangerous sex, fighting, gambling, abusing drugs or alcohol, reckless driving, shoplifting, or disordered eating?

(28) — Mutilate themselves — for example, purposely cutting or burning their skin?

(29) — Threaten to kill themselves — or make actual suicide attempts?

(30) — Rush into relationships based on idealized fantasies of what they would like the other person or the relationship to be?

(31) — Change their expectations in such a way that the other person feels they can never do anything right?

(32) — Have frightening, unpredictable rages that make no logical sense — or have trouble expressing anger at all?

(33) — Physically abuse others, such as slapping, kicking, and scratching them?

(34) — Needlessly create crises or live a chaotic lifestyle?

(35) — Act inconsistently or unpredictably?

(36) — Alternately want to be close to others, then distance themselves?  (Examples include picking fights when things are going well or alternately ending relationships and then trying to get back together.)

(37) — Cut people out of their life over issues that seem trivial or overblown?

(38) — Act competent and controlled in some situations but extremely out of control in others?

(39) — Verbally abuse others, criticizing and blaming them to the point where it feels brutal?

(40) — Act verbally abusive toward people they know very well, while putting on a charming front for others?  Can they switch from one mode to the other in seconds?

(41) — Act in what seems like extreme or controlling ways to get their own needs met?

(42) — Do or say something inappropriate to focus the attention on them when they feel ignored?

(43) — Accuse others of doing things they did not do, having feelings they do not feel, or believing things they do not believe?


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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.


Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

One thought on “+LIST OF 43 CHARACTERISTICS OF bpd

  1. This list is interesting. I know someone who may be bipolar, but I am not sure she shows such extremes all the time. There may be a gradient of this disorder. However, what causes bipolar disorder? Could early childhood trauma (especially in a child who sees violence done to or by a family member) be one cause? Maybe your own mother saw abuse. Very young children are going to fear that the person may hurt them, too. That is until they learn that they are not going to be the target. However, they may be with the person who is the target and suffer collateral damage. It doesn’t matter what age they are when it happens, they will make up a story in their minds as to why they were attacked. Very likely that story will change to some degree as they get older and gain perspective (pretty much what happens with memory recall anyway), but the original story will have a powerful effect on how they treat others.

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