Monday, May 16, 2016.  Good day today.  Nice to be able to jump over that dead uncle triggering heap so quickly (yes, turns out, writing a blog post DID help).  Rest in peace, Uncle.  I mean that.  “Let the dead bury the dead.”

And I moved on….

My daughter fulfilled my wish list today when she bought me a 2’ x 3’ white dry erase board for my music composing!  It’s even magnetic!

Very sweet gift – which will do away with my sheets of paper taped to my walls all around my keyboard.

Today I nudged this song I am working on ALL the way out of its original interesting melding of Middle Eastern musical scale with Western diatonic scale so that it now lies squarely within a useful (flatfooted) plain old Key of C.  That’s OK.  I had great fun with it today!

Later I might play around with this “East meets West” thing.  At first this song appeared as IF it SHOULD have been in the Key of A – which it clearly was not.  There were no sharps or flats to be found anywhere!

But they WERE there – so I went online searching and quickly found that in Persian Middle Eastern music sharps and flats abound – differently from over here on our side of the ocean.

But this is part of the fun of these musical adventures.  With internet assistance I can instantly find musical facts that fit my need-to-know (which is vast).  At the moment I have a kind of “PS” piece to this bigger song that is just meant for kids of all ages to have fun with!

Kneading its beat led me to take a gaze at the beautiful Bach piece HERE – and then to a site that showed me that the graph paper I decided to use today for writing this ‘beat ditty’ makes perfect sense!!  HERE are some visual examples of the musical notation of RAP!

How FASCINATING!  Both of the styles of writing and of music displayed at these links are beautiful to me, indicative not only of the beauty of music itself, but also of the ‘turning into matter’ something invisible.  Giving patterns visual form that is – but it not – the music itself.

(I like to surround myself with books of piano music scrounged from rummage sales and thrift stores.  Not that I think about training myself to play those songs.  I think written music is a display of beauty of form and marking all by itself. I want them on my walls!)

Music is miraculous to me, although I listen to less and less of it the older I get.  I think in part that’s because if I give myself the time to LISTEN – there are other songs waiting for me to find them.


Other than what little bit I have managed to figure out on my own, I have no musical training.  That’s OK.  There’s joy in this for me and that is a very great thing!  Of course it helps that today was actually SUNNY without wind!

About time.

Speaking of time….

Melody takes nothing of effort it seems to me.  It’s the RHYTHM that I am working with (shovel, hoe and plow!).  I need to SEE “time” in order to “get this” the way I want it – the way I FEEL it – which is as difficult to capture for me as an invisible butterfly.

No different, I suppose, from trying to name any complex emotional configuration from within that does not ACTUALLY have a name.

We find these things, it seems.  Shifts in perceptions.  Focusing thought.  Yes, I have clocks.  I can tell time.



I wonder what music will be like 500 years from now.  I think we will invent instruments not imagined yet.  I don’t mean purely digital ones, either.  REAL instruments, ones that have body – like a glorious grand piano has body.  Real drums have body.  Shake the room vibrating sound waves kind of body.

Tomorrow I will think some more about how I can play my melody along with its bass notes – together at the same time – within the same middle 2.5 octaves.  High notes are too high.  Low notes are to low.  Hummmm…..


I am also wondering about this free MuseScore software – I asked my computer savvy son to look over this for me.  Hope he gets back to me on this so I don’t have to bug him!


Michael Jackson (did not read music, did not feel it was necessary (he recorded versions of his songs) – his music came out entirely whole, or “appeared” to him over time) – amazing – tribute link – you might need to copy and paste this into your browser –



Click here to read or to

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Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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