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Knowing of the enduring and pervasive sadness I live with every single instant I am alive, and then receiving a comment today from someone who I believe knows this exact same sadness (see link immediately below), and as I think about my ‘blurred boundaries’ posts, I am beginning to wonder if there is a sadness-beyond-measure that lies OUTSIDE the range of ability FOR ANYONE ELSE TO FEEL IT except for those of us who were built in and by this sadness.

If this is true, then our experience of sadness-beyond-measure is also a sadness that lies outside the range of ANYBODY’S empathic abilities other than the abilities that those of us who KNOW it have to understand the sadness within each other.

If this is true, then I would say that having experienced the kind of malevolent trauma PRIMARILY within our earliest mother-caregiver attachment-deprived environment that it takes to CREATE a body that feels this amount of PAIN, sorrow, grief, suffering, sadness – makes those of us who FEEL this sadness-beyond-measure humanity’s truest representatives of the worst kinds of environments possible.  (short of infant death).

Our sadness then represents the LOUDEST POSSIBLE cry-from-within that something was terribly wrong without measure.  Because this trauma built our body-brain in response to it and interaction with it – we REMAIN the living body that is the SCREAMING testament to WHAT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF FOR OUR SPECIE’S SURVIVAL.

That our scream may appear ‘off the radar’ or happen in a pitch that nobody else but each other can hear does NOT mean our screams are silent!  They are not, and that pain and that scream devours us alive.  Ours is the most potent scream for help, assistance, protection – that was NEVER heard when we were tiny, either.

I believe we live in a different kind of body and in a different kind of world that evidently NOBODY else but those of us who suffer from this ‘special degree of pain’ can begin to imagine.

Where the extensions of EMPATHY from the outside cannot go so that the extent of our pain and suffering could begin to be comprehended – COMPASSION CAN!  Caring can!  Care-giving can!

Ours is a pain that NOBODY ‘should’ EVER feel.  Because there are those of us who DO FEEL it, our pain is a direct signal to other members of our species that there is a CRISIS.  Something is terribly terribly wrong with the condition of the OVERALL environment.  Somebody needs to notice what our pain is saying!  Somebody needs to pay attention and everybody needs to FIX THE PROBLEM!

Please read today’s comments to this post:

+THE MOST IMPORTANT LETTER I’VE EVER WRITTEN – WHEN I DISOWNED MY MOTHER

NEXT POST: +MUNCH’S ‘THE SCREAM’

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+INSECURE ATTACHMENT = DISORDERED EMPATHY

+DISORDERED EMPATHY = BLURRED BOUNDARIES = TRAUMA DRAMA = COMBINED CRIES FOR HELP

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