Tuesday, July 26, 2016.  Sharing life within the sphere of what being human is leaves us in-common = in community in probably far more ways than it leaves us being unique.  Or is that a maybe?  A might?  What if the ways in which we are different from one another REALLY MATTER a LOT – considering we are truly alike in so many ways?

We do not (yet) know what the ‘givens’ of being human even are.

I wish to mention a few of my thoughts – again – about this –


I view this as an information accessing tool.  Of course what I consider to be possibilities/potentials for the helpfulness of having this information is at least 1/16th different than it might be for other people.

I think that human resources are what matter most on the planet.  We need to know what capacities and talents we have, which way we tend to be in the world in order to better cooperate in community to create a better world.

(I am certainly not interested in ANYTHING that would make this a WORSENED world!  Although understanding how others think in ways I do not agree with and/or do not understand is important!)


Yes, as a Myers–Briggs Type Indicator, this test IS subjective!  NOBODY but our Creator can know us better than we know our own self.  “Cell” differentiation/specialization?  We all have inborn capacities, gems of talents, unique potentials – and it may be that we quite simply DO more-or-less line up in a portion of the human circle of personality types along the lines the simple online test reveals.

It’s not that I AM simply a “mediating/diplomat” – but that I might exactly process the experience of being alive through such processes that feel significant here.  I find this a helpful angle to consider for myself.  I mediate potential – in material art and craft creations and in invisible information-gathering and THINKING ways.

Both of these applications of my abilities lie in the 4%-of-people range, which means I very easily dance upon the feet of the other 96% (being more of a ‘burr under the saddle’ type when it comes to thinking and opening my mouth to say things I think – than I, or it seems, anyone else actually LIKES).  Nobody likes to have their toes tromped.  I don’t like to tromp toes.  It sure does seem to happen!

I am thinking that this social awkwardness, if considered in terms of this personality assessment, is NOT solely due to the incredible and unique malevolency of the conditions in the environment I was raised in.  I would have processed even all those experiences with my mediating/diplomat personality style.  I would have done the same thing even if I had been whisked away from my psychotically mentally ill abusive mother into a PERFECT infancy and childhood.

I find these thoughts comforting.  Affirming.  Informative.  Empowering.  And my curiosity is tickled by thinking I wish everyone I interact with in my life would take this test and then give me their information – because I THRIVE on processing life with exactly that – INFORMATION!


Of the few I do know who have taken/shared this info I can see it’s exactly accurate.  One is in something like a .03 (as an ‘architect combination’minority of people.  I know two people who came out with “defender” personalities.

I think they kind of operate in protecting ‘those in need’ as a kind of immune system, providing a kind of cellular wall that means they will naturally be somewhat suspicious of anything new and different.  They need to assess safety, reliability, relevance – all kinds of things before new information/practices, etc. are let through their defensive barricades.


Oh, not me.  I can play around with all kinds of invisible concepts.  I can sometimes FEEL the future as if it is a tangible, physical wad of warm clay that I can hold in my hand.  But when I run into the reality that although I would LIKE it if EVERYONE could hold their idea of the future in the palm of their imaginal hand – if it’s not in their ‘personality’ sphere of activity – it maybe won’t happen “that way.”


Now – with this particular test – my particular responses =

MIND:  extroverted 16% – introverted 84%

ENERGY:  intuitive 82% – observant 18%

NATURE:  thinking 19% – feeling 81%

TACTICS:  judging 25% – prospecting 75%

IDENTITIY:  assertive 30% – turbulent 70%


If you run through the test for yourself you will be able to read about what these patterns mean in your personality pattern.

The most striking observation right now for myself is that THINKING for me happens INTUITIVELY – this is how I imaginally create possibilities, explore them, attempt to connect to others so we can mutually explore – which for me happens through deep intuitive listening for the ‘images’ within others.

A kind of ‘invisible seeing’ only for me what I FEEL (gut/visceral/metaphoric right brain access to info) IS visible to me – in a different way.  This is how I communicate, for example, with young children.  I think it is how we all communicate with infants from the time they come into our lives.

It’s not a mysterious process to me.  But the toe-tromping happens OFTEN – and yes, a lot of how and why this happens is due to the horrendous isolation/forced solitary confinement, forbidden human contact other than Mother, etc. within the malevolent world that formed me.

Yet I wonder, did those conditions in some way just work to amplify my particular gifts?  (Everyone has gifts!!)

VERY importantly:  Were these particular aspects of my personality trauma ‘protective factors’ so that with a different personality I might well have been obliterated?

Certainly MY personality allowed me to develop an incredible, deep, sustaining relationship with the Alaskan homestead wilderness mountain I was so fortunately taken to for my ‘growing up’!  I do not in any way believe I would have survived if I had not been given this land and my spiritual relationship with it.


So this test version gives me = INFP-T = Intuitive Ethical Introvert.  As I approach my 65th birthday, how can I not absolutely CHUCKLE at this???  (“T” stands for – ‘turbulent’, evidently – which to me suggests a creative universe of potentials.)

I wander away now in my thinking – leaving this link for some further information on this online test’s THEORY AND RESEARCH, which even includes national personality profiles!

Acronyms also described at this link

Introversion (I) or Extraversion (E)

Intuition (N) or Sensing (S)

Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)

Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)


Well, it has been said that “it takes all types to make the world go ‘round.”  Yeah.  And it will also take all types in cooperation to make the world a better place for all.  I think that knowing more about our self and others (where relevant) at very least empowers our consciousness.

Then what?

I think that trauma survivors, once they know more clearly what their propensities for being in the world via their personality styles can view their healing more clearly with this information.  I am certainly finding this to be true for myself.  I can see how I was able to keep my own self firmly intact to matter what brainwashing tortures Mother devised to put me through.

I NEVER would admit to doing something I was being beaten for no matter what she said I did.  I NEVER would cry when she beat me physically.  I was firmly intact within – although I NEVER questioned what happened to me in any way.  Now I know in a truly psychotic abuse situation it was not possible to make any sense of the universe I was so terribly trapped within.

This makes me wonder for everyone that lived through early years when going on living was impossible – what aspects of our innate personality allowed us to do this?

I do believe that personality is tied to our soul, and that we retain our personality when we leave this world.  Therefore, this kind of learning about self is fundamentally, to me, a spiritually illuminating process.  Nothing about our soul is ‘bad’.  Nothing.


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Here is my first book out in ebook format as it provides an outline of the conditions of my malevolent childhood.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.


Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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