Friday, November 21, 2014.  Efficacy:  “the power to produce an effect.”  It seems that my writing of my last three posts lead directly to this word in my thinking.  Efficacy.  Such a small word.  Or does it only seem small to me at this moment because it seems to me that my “power to produce an effect” is so pitifully small, limited and inadequate right now?

This being said, I must admit I feel very disempowered in my life right now.  This has been true, really, for a very long time.  I have just been able to outrun the pit-of-my-stomach feeling that I cannot outrun it now.

I can see that having nothing much to work with I found my efficacy in the dirt when I made this –


Being dirt poor I decide that I better make something beautiful out of dirt, then.  “Producing an effect” is always what my love of gardening has been about.  What my craft work has been – and is about.  In my being I always desire to create and produce a positive effect.  Something useful.  And if at all possible something of beauty no matter what I have to work with.

I see at this moment that even my current efforts to practice keyboard and drumming is also tied to my desire to produce an effect even if it is halting, awkward and quite unskilled.  Music is created because someone produces an effect of sound upon the air waves.

Writing.  I can do that out of nothing, virtually nothing.  Perhaps it is one of the most beneficial effects produced by advances in computer technology including access to the internet that lets people increase the efficacy of their lives.  We are empowered in many ways that did not exist not so many years ago.

Cell phones empower us to be in increasing communication with others.  Efficacy.

Yet by nature I am a high enough drive person to CRAVE efficacy.  Child abuse, all oppression and abuse, robs people of degrees of efficacy.

I love being outdoors as much as possible, and here in the north for these months coming up it is a miserable experience for me to be outside.  Frigid winters hurt me in many ways.  They rob me of degrees of what efficacy is for me that I had available in Arizona.  Apartment living in a city without a yard is, for me, another loss of efficacy problem.

So obviously efficacy is very personal and tailor-made differently for different people.  Many people lose efficacy living in the country.  Yet poverty, disabilities, sicknesses, many aspects of aging, oppression, abuse — all rob people of degrees of efficacy.  It becomes a “resiliency factors versus risk factors” situation in how people can respond to any of these conditions.

How do we remedy the depleting effects of a lack of efficacy?  Definition of EFFICACIOUS:  having the power to produce a desired effect <an efficacious remedy>

I am always in the process of working this out because I must.  To me, having efficacy is life.  Not having it (appropriately, of course) is a form of dying.

Efficacy is what I tried so hard to give to my children.  It is “the effect” I am hoping I am contributing to my grandson as I care for him.

I think efficacy is a very hard quality to produce and to maintain alone.


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Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

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