The Dark Side of Mildred’s Mountain series – Angel book 2 beginning with the POP! Goes Alaska letters – chapter 42
42. When their pain becomes our own
May 4, 2013. I spoke with Joe Anne Vanover in a telephone conversation again yesterday after I finished the writing of chapter 41. She has now read all nine of the manuscripts for the books that precede this one and is waiting for more. Although this amazing woman has a unique vested interest in this entire story having been Mildred’s friend for 46 years, she assures me that what she is learning through her reading of these books will come clear to many other readers, as well. I feel even more inspired and empowered to complete my writing by the encouragement and support Joe Anne so kindly, generously and enthusiastically gives me.
Joe Anne has always loved children, yet through her growing understanding of the truth of this mother-daughter saga she has learned much more about the importance of the information every infant and child clearly communicates in their eyes, through their body language, expressions and actions that CAN be recognized by everyone who knows what they are seeing. Joe Anne told me she can now clearly tell just by watching children which ones are not wanted, not loved, abused, neglected and traumatized. She told me she can clearly see now that these children are obviously “very different” from other children who do not suffer from these troubles, and that these differences can be seen in very young children well before the age of two.
It seems to me that through her reading of these books nearly all of the many, many questions Joe Anne has had for over 50 years about her “odd friend” Mildred are turning into answers that include important new information about how the troubles in Mother’s earliest life affected and changed her, how they manifested throughout Mother’s life in her severe mental illness, and about the terrible child abuse and trouble in our family that went on “behind closed doors.” Yet what matters most to me and excites me for my further writing work is the fact that Joe Anne finds the information in these books can be applied very simply to the understanding of the life conditions of all children a person comes into contact with everywhere.
Once child abuse and neglect becomes clearly visible to us – as troubled children naturally express it with their every movement – our society will change its attitudes and actions concerning child well-being. We will no longer be able to deny or ignore what we are seeing all around us. Once the “language” of troubled children begins to scream at people, and as these troubled children no longer remain hidden in silence and invisibility around us because we finally understand what we are SEEING in their every action and expression, all of our lives are going to change in some way by what we have been willing to learn. These children DO tell us their stories unequivocally even without speaking it in words. They tell it in their being every instant of their lives.
Once we clearly understand that infant and child abuse and neglect happens all around us we will naturally move in the direction of creating changes in our shared social environments that have positive effects upon the quality of these children’s lives. We will find ways to diminish the numbers of little people who are suffering from preventable human-caused trauma, and we will eventually stop it from happening all together. Our combined consciousness has to be raised and our conscience has to be awakened on behalf of our infants and children.
First we need to SEE these children and their suffering by learning their unspoken language of trauma and what it tells us. Once we do this we will never be able to forget what we have learned. Then we need to understand what causes abuse and neglect, what negative impact it has on the quality of a person’s entire life, and we need to learn how to stop it from happening. We can do this. We WILL do this because we will want to.
As the unnecessary hardships, difficulties and traumas of children’s lives begin to become increasingly obvious and therefore real to more and more of us their discomfort and suffering will increasingly become our own. This is how our human empathy, compassion and caregiving systems – all physiologically built into our body-brain – are designed to operate. Problems we cannot deny, ignore or tolerate will cause us to change in positive ways so that these problems will be matched with solutions and go away. Then we will ALL feel better!
Everyone reading these words is already a part of this solution process! It is as simple as that.
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