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32.  (under construction – intro only)

April 15, 2013.  On the Tuesday morning of September 11, 2001 Boston was brought into national attention because of the horror wrecked from the actions of those inside two jetliners that lifted off from Logan Airport.  Boston is in the news again today for two explosions that sounded like booming claps of thunder that came seconds apart at 2:50 P.M. near the finish line of the prestigious Boston Marathon.  According to the latest ABC news report at least three people were killed, one of them an eight-year-old boy.  Over 140 others were injured including children; at least ten of these people suffer from “amputated” limbs. 

Federal law enforcement officials confirmed that the blasts were caused by explosive devices.  As night falls authorities know nothing about “who was behind this act of terror,” or if this was a domestic or a foreign attack.  Horror and acts of terror shock.  They belong in the news, deserve and get attention, cause concern and outrage.  They stimulate compassion for the victims.  Everyone wants to know who is responsible and who will be held accountable.

Yet what about infants and children suffering from traumas behind the closed doors of the homes they live in?  Who cares about them?  Who notices?  Who identifies their attackers?  Who responds?  Who asks questions, rescues these little ones, treats their wounds, listens to their stories, keeps them safe and holds their attackers accountable?  Who speaks for these hidden silent fallen little ones? 

According to the most current statistics from the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, 3.3 million children were abused in America in 2010.  These were REPORTED cases of abuse.  There is no reason to believe this is not a gross understatement.  Who cares about all of these terrorized little ones?  How do we define a crisis?

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At the start of this chapter before I write about what happened to me during the span of time Mildred’s letters cover here, I want to mention a blog called Crosstalk that one of my Stop the Storm blog’s commenters posted the link to last week in response to my posting of chapter 20 of this book, A durable, endurable child.  The title of the post I visited on Crosstalk, written 96 weeks before I arrived on the site to read it, is Mothers Who Dislike Their Children Are Disturbed, Not Normal.  (It can be found via an online search using the title as the search term if the article does not get deleted!)

The post is well worth a read for anyone concerned especially with a split-mind (all-good/all-bad) abusive Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) psychotic mother.  The author of this post who goes by the online moniker of LessThanZero on the Crosstalk blog wrote “… my mother stripped me of all my clothes in December in Buffalo, New York, and locked me out of the house, telling me to stand outside naked for the night if I wanted to run to my friend’s house without a coat on….” 

When I visited the site this morning there were many comments listed at the end of this post yet when I went back to look at them this evening they have all been erased!  In response to one of the commenters to her post LessThanZero added further information about the fact that she and her sister had both run to the friend’s house without their coats on.  While the author, the all-bad child, received horrendous abuse her all-good sister was coddled, given a warm bath and then wrapped in blankets by their abusive BPD split-mind mother who was, I believe, psychotic like my mother was or more so.

Another commenter to this post on Crosstalk wrote that when she was four her mother decided to teach her to swim.  The little girl didn’t learn well enough, quickly enough, so her (psychotic) BPD mother cast her out alone into the middle of a fast-flowing river.  I want to know how this child made it back to shore by herself so that she could stay alive – and no doubt suffer continued horrendous abuse by her mentally ill mother.

I have a lot of questions!  I can ask, “How did these children survive?”  At the same time I ask that question of myself even though the abuse I suffered did not match in horror that spoken of within the two accounts mentioned here.  I want to know the “crime report” stories that belong to such survivors.  I want to know the context, the bigger picture, details of who could have and did not step in to STOP this kind of insane abuse!  All I have to work with is what I can discover of my own story with my own psychotic BPD abusive mother.

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