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I suffer no from no illusions about this work I am doing with my mother’s writings.  Three years ago today I started a heavy-duty chemotherapy treatment regime for the advanced, aggressive breast cancer that had been identified.  By December I went through a double mastectomy, at which it was discovered that I had two cancers in my left breast (none in my right, that removal was preventative).

The cancer had been there at least three years before it was discovered.  That means to me that I am now looking backwards in time at six years of having been living under the shadow of the cloud of cancer.  I know that my life has been spared for now because there is important work I need to do.  I no longer have any imagined luxury of wasting time!!

I have two posts that need to be written today, and this is not one of them.  I am outside extending my adobe walkway until the sun is higher overhead and I am – again – baked out of the adobe business for another day.  Meanwhile, I am thinking as my body works to dig and lift and stir and lay this mud into something that looks like landscaping.  I am thinking about the website I mentioned in my last post, specifically regarding their list of potential names for Borderline Personality Disorder because it seems there are many people who don’t like the name it has now.  I am in disagreement, entirely, not only with the entire effort, but with ALL the potential names listed on that website.

I am also deeply thinking about the amazing dream I had last night and woke up from at five in the morning.  I knew I did not want to go back to sleep.  This dream is important.  I knew if I stayed awake I would remember it, and if I went back to sleep I would not.  Besides, the daylight outside at that hour is not hot and it’s a perfect time to get out there.

So back to the mud I will go — and I will be back here later…..

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