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I have been thinking about a commenter’s words yesterday to the post, *Age 36 – My May 10, 1988 Letter Disowning My Mother as it relates to ‘disclosure’:
“I’m reading your stories and I’m amazed they are not triggering me. There are many similarities (my mother is bipolar and went off of her meds around 1975 because it embarrassed my father) in experiences, but the original abuses are a bit different.”
This brought to mind the several posts I have written on DISCLOSURE:
The collection of this blog’s posts related to DISCLOSURE can be reached HERE, including —
+WRITING ABOUT OUR SEVERE EARLY TRAUMAS FROM THE INSIDE OUT
+SECURE AND INSECURE ATTACHMENT AND THE CHILDHOOD NARRATIVE
+HOW DO WE LIVE WELL WHEN WE HAVE TOO MUCH TRAUMA INFORMATION
+WE NEED NEW WORDS TO DIALOG WITH OUR BODY ABOUT TRAUMA
+LINKS TO TODAY’S PAGES ON DISSOCIATION AND DISCLOSURE
*THE ADVANTAGES OF DISCLOSURE
*FURTHER UNDERSTANDINGS ABOUT DISSOCIATION
+NOT INVITING IN THE FURIES
+EXCLUSIVE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OWNED BY SEVERE ABUSE SURVIVORS
+BEING CHEERFUL AND COURAGEOUS IN THE FACE OF A TERRIBLE REALITY
+A WORD ON TRAUMA TRIGGERS AND FALLING APART
+LINK to *THE DANGERS OF MEMORY RETRIEVAL
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I have had some feedback on the writing of my childhood stories that they need to be more detailed, contain more emotion, be more ‘real’. This commenter’s words were affirming to me that perhaps MY way of writing is, well, MY way! I will never write for the voyeur readers. Nor is it my intention to so horrify and trigger traumatic memories in my readers that harm to them might follow. My aim has always been to be kind to myself and kind to my readers while at the same time (hopefully) striking a beneficial balance between safety and disclosure.
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Posting links to posts from the past makes this post another ‘scavenger post’ – which got me to thinking about something else I found important in my studies: The relationship between the ratio of adrenal gland to thyroid function in mammals as it corresponds to predator and prey status.
Human infants are born with an adrenal gland that is two-and-a-half times larger in proportion to their body weight than it will be when they reach adulthood. This fact causes me to cringe at the thought of how devastating extreme stress and distress is to infants during their development because stress hormone overdose is a toxin to them.
We know how destructive stress hormones can be on the adult body (including what it does to the hippocampus brain region and memory) – it is almost unimaginable what these powerful hormones do to an infant-toddler and small child’s developing body-brain.
Thoughts about the posts at the links below came to me in relation to the idea of a ‘scavenger post’ because I now live where huge buzzards float above the earth searching for their meals. During the years I lived north in Alaska and in northern Minnesota, eagles floated above me instead.
Both of these two birds are mentioned in the work referenced below. Buzzards are thyroid-based creatures who do not hunt, while eagles are adrenal-based creatures that do. If you haven’t already encountered these posts, perhaps you might find it helpful to scan through them now:
+BELOW THE SURFACE – THE CONNECTION BETWEEN SEVERE EARLY CHILD ABUSE, EAGLES AND BUZZARDS
+TOMKINS ON EVOLUTION OF AFFECT
*EVOLUTION OF AFFECT
+TOMKINS ON AFFECT
Related posts:
+EARLY CHILDHOOD ADVERSE EXPERIENCES
*ADVERSIVE CHILDHOODS (notes from chapter 4)
*Trauma Recovery – notes on Waking the Tiger
+OUR STRESS RESPONSE IS WHAT WE PASS DOWN TO OUR KIDS
+CALM THE CRYING BABY — IMMUNE SYSTEM STIMULATES VAGUS NERVE TRAUMA ALTERED DEVELOPMENT
+TO BE OR NOT TO BE A TRAUMA-CHANGED HUMAN — THE QUALITY OF MOTHERING HOLDS THE ABSOLUTE KEY
+SCHORE ON BRAIN AND NERVOUS SYSTEM DEVELOPMENT
*Endocannabinoids, Digestion, Food Intake, Energy Balance
*Endocannabinoid System, Fear and Anxiety
*Endocannabinoids, Pain, Depression and Grief
*Endocannabinoid Protection and Regulation
+WHEN ABUSIVE PARENTS STEAL THEIR CHILD’S THUNDER
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More of these related posts can be found by continuing to search through this blog HERE (past the links you see posted here today)
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Just a note: There’s a Buzzard Tree in Old Bisbee where hundreds of buzzards roost every night. Near sunset the skies are filled with these giant, peaceful, slowly soaring birds. A few years ago the city council wanted to destroy that giant tree because they said all the buzzard droppings are a health hazard! Old Bisbee-ites would have nothing to do with this idea, and arose en masse in protection of their friends and this ancient cottonwood the buzzards have chosen for their summertime home.
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These related posts can be found by continuing to search through this blog HERE (past the links you see posted here today)
Stop the Storm 
[…] +THOUGHT SALAD: HAVING ‘THIS’ TO SAY ABOUT ‘THAT’ […]
Hello! I just wanted to say that there is quite a similarity between a BPD abusive parent and a bipolar one. That got me to thinking that child sexual abuse + bipolar parent abuse = DID/bipolar child, at least in my case. I wonder if that holds true for others.
I also appreciate your respect to your readers by offering personal background information and experiences without being graphic or triggering.
The more I read about the effects of trauma psychologically and physically on children the more amazing it is that we are here and are successfully raising our own children (not that it doesn’t take a ton of work, of course). I’m slowly working my way through your entries. Sometimes I just cry, or feel like a statistic, but more often I see how I came to be at this point in time.
Finally, I know how you can write your book. Print out everything you’ve written in your blog, arrange it neatly, punch holes in the paper, and bind it together. See? Wasn’t that easy?
Lisa
Hey, I even have TWO 3-hole punchers, maybe I could make a book double handed!!
Meanwhile — I have my hands in the mud, taking a little break before lifting off the form — am feeling pretty speechless!! Thanks for your comments – there’s something soothing-calming for me in reading your words (the way you write and what you say). Thanks!