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These three letters my grandmother wrote to my mother have been stored in the same envelope together for over 45 years.  The first one was written on the day that turned out to be the great Good Friday super earthquake, the Alaskan earthquake of March 27, 1964.  In this letter grandmother talks about her own professional work including her writing, and about how she was going to type-transcribe my mother’s homesteading letters for her — a job that was not done — until now, these 45+ years later by me.

*Grandmother’s 3-27-1964 Letter to Mother (written day of great Alaskan earthquake)

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The second letter was written March 28, 1964 the day after the earthquake.  Grandmother has heard nothing from us, and has no idea what is going on with the people she loves.  In this day of internet, twitter and cell phones most younger people cannot understand what it might be like to not be able to instantly connect with loved ones when wanted or needed.  My grandmother had no way to know if we were dead or alive when she wrote this letter.

*Grandmother’s 3-28-1964 Letter to Mother the Day After the Great Earthquake (she knows nothing)

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Again, in this third letter written on Easter Sunday after the earthquake, grandmother has still not heard from us and knows nothing.  I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for her!  I know many, many other families divided by miles similarly shared my grandmother’s thoughts and feelings on this day.

In this letter grandmother writes:

“I’ll try to be good and sensible.  But tell me what you want me to do from here – dear ones.  I always knew I loved you heaps and heaps – but never knew how much until now!”

She says she saved her sanity while she waited for word from us by cleaning the kitchen — what do men do in place of cleaning when they are hyper-concerned, worried or just plain MAD?

*Grandmother’s 3-29-1964 Letter to Mother After Earthquake (still hasn’t heard from us)

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My mother hated my father’s parents, and I don’t know why.  This is the letter they sent to dad and mom after the earthquake as they, too, were worried and without word of us:

*My Father’s (disowned) Parents’ Letter After the Earthquake 4-1-1964

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Here is my own story of the Alaskan Earthquake — the March 27, 1964 day that my first period came in the middle of —

*Age 12 – My Story of the Great Alaskan Earthquake March 27, 1964 and My Menarche

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This link (below the scan) is to my transcription of my mother’s story of the earthquake.  I am including here a scan of what she wrote about finding her children O.K. at the baby sitter’s house where she had left us before she and dad headed into Anchorage for a dinner out – which is where they were when the quake happened.

This is what I call the “perfect chink” in my mother’s borderline story of her life.  It is the hole in the wall of her nearly perfect facade she presents of herself in her letters and writings.

It is reminiscent of the Medea story, a play written by Euripides and first performed in 431 B.C., about a mad woman mother, who sounds just like a severe Borderline, who killed all her children in the house with a massive butcher knife while they screamed for help.  Their father and the listening public, standing outside, did nothing to stop her.

This, to me, shows the truth behind her Borderline reality lies:

*Mother’s Story of the 1964 Quake

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I feel so heavy and so sad after writing this post today, as if the weight of 2,500 years is in my heart.  What Euripides recognized and wrote about all those many, many hundreds of years ago happened to me, happened to so many people.  Maybe not the literal, physical butchering, but certainly the devastation of a childhood and of a self.  Yet the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder is today overused and underused and misapplied — and today it seems that absolutely nobody even cares.

So, the victims of these Borderlines either survive or they don’t.  Yet how is it that I can so clearly connect the story of my life, of my mother’s life to Euripides’ ancient story?  It seems so clear to me, but this is not a battle we survivors can fight alone.  It makes us heavy, sad and so incredibly tired.

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INFORMATION LINKS ON BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER:

For Family and Friends of Individuals with BPD

Borderline Personality Disorder Resources

Borderline Personality Disorder Frequently Asked Questions

Glossary

Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder

Treatment of BPD

Living with BPD

  BPD on the Internet
Learn more about how to navigate the world of BPD on the web.

The Quick List – Books on BPD to Get You Started
If you don’t have time to do the research and are overwhelmed by the shear number of choices, check out this quick list of recommended books. These can get your library started.

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THIS FROM:

Prevent Child Abuse New York Blog

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The Future of Children: Focus on Child Abuse and Neglect

Posted: 12 Oct 2009 03:26 AM PDT