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  • +About…
    • *Our Earliest Start
      • *MICRO RNA – GENETICS – EPIGENETICS
      • *Notes on Teicher
        • TEICHER ON THE ALTERED BRAIN (duplicate?)
      • + BRAIN PARTS — INFO ON BRAIN REGIONS AND FUNCTIONS
        • *Notes on Hippocampus
        • ++BROCA’S AREA (related to language)
        • ++HIPPOCAMPUS
        • ++LIMBIC SYSTEM
        • ++User’s Guide – notes on Ratey’s writings
        • +FEEDBACK FEEDFORWARD
        • Child abuse and brain development link
      • ++CONSCIOUSNESS AND ATTENTION
        • *Forming Reality
      • ++DAMAGE AND REPAIR
      • ++LE DOUX ON BUILDING THE BRAIN
      • ++My theory of personality – self
      • +EARLY CHILDHOOD ADVERSE EXPERIENCES
      • +Effortful Control
      • +RESEARCH LINK ON EXECUTIVE FUNCTION, ABUSE, BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
      • +SIEGEL ON MINDS CREATE MINDS
      • +SIEGEL ON MINDSIGHT
    • + Simple small town desert living on the American-Mexico Border
    • ++”The Demise of Mildred” – (her story in two parts)
    • ++AMYGDALA
      • ++LE DOUX ON THE AMYGDALA
      • +SIEGEL ON TRAUMA AND THE AMYGDALA
    • ++BRAIN LATERALIZATION
      • **Containment and the hemispheres
      • ++NOTES ON RIGHT BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
      • +SEIGEL ON BRAIN LATERALIZATION
        • +SEIGEL ON LATERALIZATION (more)
        • +SIEGEL – LEFT BRAIN – REASON
        • +SIEGEL ON BRAIN HEMISPHERE CONSCOUSNESS
        • +SIEGEL ON LEFT BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
        • +SIEGEL ON RIGHT BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
    • +FREE PREVIEW OF MILDRED’S WRITINGS
    • +Maternal Socialization
    • +PERRY’S BOOK – (BOY/DOG)
  • +ATTACHMENT
    • **ATTACHMENT WITHIN ENVIRONMENTS
      • *WHEN BEING SELFISH IS TOO SMALL A CONCEPT
    • **DISORGANIZED THINKING – DISSOCIATION
      • *HYPNOSIS AND ATTENTIONAL CONTROL
    • **Dissociation
    • **Dr. Siegel on organization-reorganization of the SELF
    • **Further notes on attachment
    • **James Hillman – Soul’s Code – (on being broken)
      • ++MORE HILLMAN ON TRUE LOVE
    • **My notes on infant attachment
    • **NOTES FROM FIELD ON ADULT ATTACHMENT
    • **NOTES FROM FOX ON HIGH RISK INFANT – ATTACHMENT
    • **Notes on “A Child Called “IT””
    • **OXYTOCIN AND ATTACHMENT
      • *Oxytocin – Chapter 4: The body’s control centers
      • *Oxytocin – Chapter 5: How oxytocin works
      • *Oxytocin – Chapter 6: Oxytocin’s effects
      • *Oxytocin – Chapter 7: The oxytocin tree
      • *Oxytocin – Chapter 8: Nursing: Oxytocin’s Starring Role
    • **Siegel – Attachment Measurement (kid and adult)
    • **’DIS-ASSOCIATION’ BETWEEN RIGHT-LEFT BRAIN HEMISPHERES AND DISMISSIVE-AVOIDANT INSECURE ATTACHMENT DISORDERS
    • *AMAZING FACTS – CANNABINOID SYSTEM ESSAYS/RESEARCH
      • *ENDOCANNABINOID SYSTEM AND HUMAN REPRODUCTION
    • *AMAZING FACTS ABOUT OUR BODY’S OWN VERSION OF ‘POT’
      • *Evolutionary Origins of Endocannabinoid System
      • *Endocannabinoids – Fertility, pregnancy, lactation, infants and children
      • *Endocannabinoid Protection and Regulation
      • *Endocannabinoids, Pain, Depression and Grief
      • *Endocannabinoids, Digestion, Food Intake, Energy Balance
      • *Endocannabinoid Control of Skeleton
      • *Endocannabinoid System, Fear and Anxiety
    • *Ambivalent Attachment
    • *ATTACHMENT (chapter 5 notes)
    • *Disorganized angel-demon thinking
    • *Nature heals – attachment to nature
    • *Notes on Schore
      • ++NOTES ON SCHORE – EMOTIONS
        • ++SCHORE ON NERVOUS SYSTEM AND EMOTIONS
      • ++NOTES ON SCHORE – GENETICS
      • ++NOTES ON SCHORE – RELATIONAL TRAUMA
        • ++SCHORE – IMPLICATIONS FOR SELF PSYCHOLOGY
        • ++SCHORE ON MATERNAL-INFANT MIND SHAPING
      • ++NOTES ON SCHORE – RIGHT BRAIN
        • ++SCHORE ON DEVELOPMENT OF RIGHT BRAIN
      • ++NOTES ON SCHORE – SOCIAL REFERENCING
        • ++SCHORE ON PROJECTIVE IDENTIFICATION
      • ++SCHORE ON ENERGY SYSTEMS
      • ++SCHORE ON PLAY
      • ++SCHORE ON SELF REFLECTION
      • +SCHORE ON BRAIN AND NERVOUS SYSTEM DEVELOPMENT
    • *SIEGEL – MINDSIGHT VIDEO NOTES Feb. 2014
    • ++IMMUNE RESPONSE TO MATERNAL SEPARATION
    • +ADULT ATTACHMENT
    • +DISORIENTED-DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT
      • *Further notes on attachment
      • *GENETICS OF DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT
      • *Introduction on attachment disorders
    • +EMPATHY
    • +NOTES FROM STEKLIS AND KLING ON NEUROBIOLOGY OF AFFILIATION
    • +PANKSEPP ON BRAIN OPIOIDS
    • +PLAY
    • +SCHORE ON DISSOCIATION
    • +SEIGEL ON EARLY TRAUMA, I CALL A BROKEN HEART
    • +SIEGEL – “CANNOT CLASSIFY” ATTACHMENT DISORDER
    • +SIEGEL – ANTICIPATION, TIME AND COHERENCE OF MIND
    • +SIEGEL – DESCRIPTION OF ATTACHMENT STYLES
    • +SIEGEL – DISORIENTED MIND
    • +SIEGEL – DISSOCIATION notes
    • +SIEGEL – DYADIC STATES OF MIND
    • +SIEGEL – EARNED SECURE ATTACHMENT
    • +SIEGEL – EMOTIONAL REGULATION AND DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT
    • +SIEGEL – UNRESOLVED TRAUMA – INFLUENCE SELF-ORGANIZATION THROUGH GENERATIONS
    • +SIEGEL ON ADULT UNRESOLVED ATTACHMENTS
    • +SIEGEL ON BRAIN INTEGRATION PROCESSES – SELF ORGANIZATION
    • +SIEGEL ON DEVELOPING CHILD’S BRAIN – ATTACHMENT
    • EMPATHY
      • *Empathy preschoolers
      • *Notes – Bateman and Fonagy
      • *Pupil size in empathy
      • +FARROW ON EMPATHY
    • *COLLINS ON RESPONDING TO NEED – Part One
      • **Attachment Styles from Collin’s Article
    • *COLLINS ON RESPONDING TO NEED – Part Two
    • *COLLINS ON RESPONDING TO NEED – Part Three
    • *COLLINS ON RESPONDING TO NEED – Part Four
    • *COLLINS ON RESPONDING TO NEED – Part Five
    • *COLLINS ON RESPONDING TO NEED – Part Six
      • **Attachment Styles and Caregiving from Collins Article
    • *Attachment Simplified – Our Infant Attachment Systems Organize our Brain-Body-Mind-Self
    • *Attachment Simplified – Secure Attachment (Organized)
    • *Attachment Simplified – Organized Insecure Attachment – Avoidant-Dismissive
    • *Attachment Simplified – Organized Insecure Attachment – Preoccupied-Ambivalent
    • *Attachment Simplified – Disorganized Insecure Attachment – Disorganized-Disoriented
    • *Attachment Simplified – Organized Secure Attachment – Earned Secure
    • *Attachment Simplified – Disorganized Insecure Attachment – Cannot Classify
    • *Attachment Simplified – Attachments in Therapy
    • *Attachment Simplified – The More Complicated Yet CRITICAL Information
    • *Attachment Simplified – Still More Complicated Information Including ‘Feeling Felt’ and ‘Healing in Solitude’
    • *Keltner (2009) chapter on compassion
    • *SYMPTOMS: 120809 working notes
    • *SYMPTOMS: 120909 Scan of Teicher’s Research – Trauma Altered Development Paper
  • +My Childhood
    • *’HEIDI’ WAS MY BIBLE – THE MOUNTAIN RAISED MY SOUL
    • *A FEW OF MY CHILDHOOD HANDMADE GREETING CARDS
    • *Age 17 – The Cinnamon Calf
    • *Age 6-18: Alaskan Homesteading Childhood – My Mother’s Letters
    • *Book Chapters approaching edit: A Shrinking Pinhole of Light
      • +CHAPTER ONE: PIG
      • +CHAPTER TWO: BATHTUB
    • *CONSTRUCTING TIMELINE OF MY CHILDHOOD
    • *Follow These Links to Photographs from My Childhood
    • *Litany from Start to Finish
      • *BEING WITNESS TO MY OWN ABUSE
    • *Me in California Photographs
    • +Age 11 – Canoe
    • +My Childhood Art Work – What Little There Is of It
    • ++MY CHILDHOOD STORIES
      • **MY NOTES ON MOTHER’S DARK RAINBOW DREAM
      • *Dad’s April 2, 1960 Letter to Alaska Land Office
      • *MY CHILDHOOD — MEMORY FRAGMENT NOTES
      • *My Childhood Guardian Angel on the Mountain Top
      • MY BABY BOOK
        • *SCAN OF MY ‘NONEXISTENT’ BABY BOOK
      • *1951 – October 15 – Linda’s 6-week Checkup (and brother John)
      • *AGE 2 – CINDY BORN – 1953
        • *MY INTRODUCTION TO MOTHER’S 1953 DIARY
          • **1953 – MOTHER’S DIARY – PART ONE
          • **1953 – MOTHER’S DIARY – PART TWO
          • *MY MOTHER NEVER OUTGREW HER DOLLS
      • *Age 3-4: Link to my mother’s 1955 diary
      • *Age 3 – 3 children with grandmother, closeup of me and grandmother
      • *Age 3 – THE TOILET BOWL
      • *Age 4 – THE BEDSPREAD
      • *Age 4 – THE FIREWORKS
      • *Age 5 – Childhood Stories Sept. 1956 through Aug. 1957
        • *Age 5 – Losing my grandmother
        • *Age 5 – THE BUBBLE GUM
        • +++Further notes on ‘Bubble Gum’
        • *Age 5 – BUBBLE GUM ‘EPISODE’ IN MY MOTHER’S 1957 DIARY
        • THE BUBBLE GUM REVISITED
        • *Age 5 – THE FOX
        • *Age 5 – SHARON AND THE FIRE ANTS
        • *AGE 5 – Grandmother’s Blue Parakeet
        • *Age 5 – The ‘Famous’ Log House – Eagle River, Alaska
        • *Age 5 – kindergarten 1956-57
        • *Age 5 – Me in my parents’ June 1957 letters
        • *Age 5 in Mother’s July 7, 1957 – Bad child, Good child
      • *Age 6 – Childhood Stories Sept. 1957 through Aug. 1958
        • *Age 6 – THE MARBLES
        • *AGE 6 – FIRST GRADE — NIGHT ON THE STOOL
        • *Age 6 – Me and Brownies in my mothers 6-4-1958 letter
        • *Age 6 – Where Am I? Not In These Xmas Tree Photographs
        • *Age 6 – 1st grade individual picture
        • *Age 6 – 1st grade report card 1957-58
        • *Age 6 – April 1958 – mountain drawings
        • *Age 6 – Mother’s letter – purchase of the turquoise coat
        • *Age 6 – Jan. 1958 First Grade in Mother’s Letters
      • +Age 7 – Childhood Stories Sept. 1958 through Aug. 1959
        • *1959 – Photograph of My Angel Mountain
        • *Age 7 – Sad me, homestead birthday BBQ
        • *Age 7 – What I knew at Easter, 1959
        • *TURNING SEVEN
        • *Age 7 – 1958 Bockstahler’s Cabin – place of my 7th birthday
        • *Age 7 – Me In Mother’s Letters
        • *AGE 7 – MUD PUDDLE INCIDENT
        • *Age 7 – Mother’s Letter (#2) April 14, 1959 – The Homesteading Obsession Grows
        • *Age 7 – Dad and 4 kids on big rock above house spot
        • *Age 7 – Homestead Pictures (links)
        • *Age 7 – 1959 – New Kids on the Mountain Homestead
        • *Age 7 – 5-3-1959 Letter – Classic Homesteading Stress
        • *Age 7 – 5-18-1959 Letter – More Classic Homesteading Stress
        • *Age 7 – 1959 Walking the Mountain
        • *Age 7 – May 1959 – Link to 2 Photos – Walking the Mountain Road
        • *Age 7 – Precious moment with siblings, father and snow
        • *Age 7 – 1959 July birthday on homestead – I look sad!
        • *Age 7 – I loved walking this mountain road
        • *Age 8 – Photograph – Me, Smokey and Snow
        • Age 8 – May 7, 1960 – FINALLY! A Happy Picture — all 4 of us!
        • *Age 7 – 1958-59 2nd grade report card
      • *Age 8 – Childhood Stories Sept. 1959 through Aug. 1960
        • *Age 8 – Letters – “Troubles With Linda”
        • *Age 8 – Me and Cindy Walking Up Mountain In the Snow (link to photo)
        • *Age 8 – 1960 Breakup Walking up Mountain
        • *AGE 8 – MY BLACK RABBIT, PETER
        • *Comment on Age 8 – My Black Rabbit Peter
        • *Age 8 – THE PEACEFUL DAY (letter)
        • *Age 8 – Homesteading – On the Edge of Madness
        • *Age 8 – The Reindeer Envelope – My Own Art Work Analyzed By Me – The Art Therapist
        • *Age 8 – THE SHREW
        • *Age 8 – My Letter to Grandma 7-18-1960
        • *Age 8 – 1959 Photographs of Us and Homestead
        • +Age 8 – TWO DAYS BEFORE MY 9th BIRTHDAY (mother’s letter)
        • *Age 8 – BLOODY NOSE
      • *Age 9 – Childhood Stories Sept. 1960 through Aug. 1961
        • *Age 9 – Continually Undermining Linda
        • *Age 9 – Mother’s Letters – Multiple Moves
        • *Age 9 – JOHN and the CHERRY TREE
        • *Age 9 – Happy Photo of Me and Baby David
        • *Age 9 – October 4, 1960 Letter — Terrible Parental Financial Stress
        • *AGE 9 – THE TROUBLES OF JOHN
        • *Age 9 – 1960-61 4th grade report card
      • *Age 10 – Childhood Stories Sept. 1961 through Aug. 1962
        • *Age 10 – Picture of my brother John and me
        • *Age 10 – Me in Mother’s Letters
        • *Age 10 – NIGHTMARES AND BED WETTING
        • *Age 10 – THE SHAMPOO LIE AND RUNNING AWAY
        • *Age 10 — 1962 Civil Defense Letter from School
        • *Age 10 – 1960-61 fantasy locked in the semi trailer
        • *Age 10 – 5th grade 1961-62
      • *Age 11 – Childhood Stories Sept. 1962 through Aug. 1963
        • *Age 11 – Me in Mother’s Letters
        • *Age 11 – MY EYEBROWS
        • *Age 11 – My May 30, 1963 Letter to Grandma
        • *Age 11 – 1962-63 6th grade report card
        • *Age 11 1962-63 6th grade class picture
      • *Age 12 – Childhood Stories Sept. 1963 through Aug. 1964
        • *Age 12 – link to photograph of kids and mom by cabin (trip to Santa Fe?)
        • *Age 12 – Trip to Santa Fe – Mom and Kids at Grand Canyon
        • *Age 12 – My Story of the Great Alaskan Earthquake March 27, 1964 and My Menarche
      • *Age 13+ – MY MOTHER’S RIDICULOUS LIST
      • *Age 14 – DIRTY DIAPER AND PEPPLES IN MY KNEES
      • *Age 14 – Sept. 1965 through Aug. 1966
      • +Age 14 – SCRUBBED IN THE TUB
      • +Age 14 – MIRACLE IN THE PARKING LOT – DISSOCIATION
      • *Age 14 – SILENT TREATMENT
      • *Age 14 – Gardening and the Sabotage
      • *Age 15 – MY ‘VISION’ – ALONE IN THE WOODS SINGING
      • *Age 15 – FORCED TO WATCH AN ALASKAN SUNRISE
      • *Age 17 – What My Parents Taught Me About Racism
      • *Age 18 – LEADING UP TO GONE FROM HOME
        • *MY INTRODUCTION TO MY MOTHER’S 1945 DIARY
    • *CIRCUMSTANCES OF MY BIRTH
    • *CHILDHOOD DISSOCIATION – WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHERE IT MATTERS MOST
    • +NOTES – TIME PASSING IN MY CHILDHOOD
    • *SILENCE
    • *THE DANGERS OF MEMORY RETRIEVAL
      • *FURTHER UNDERSTANDINGS ABOUT DISSOCIATION
      • *THE ADVANTAGES OF DISCLOSURE
    • *Ages 6 and 7 – Link to post about my mother’s strange sexual obsessions regarding me
    • *Age 17 – Linda’s Senior High School Picture 1969
  • Book
    • ** Seeking
    • ***More notes on Siegel’s writings
    • ***mother
    • ***Notes on Siegel’s writings
    • ***Overwhelmed
    • ***Parenting
    • ***Symptoms
    • ***Trauma
    • **Accidental
    • **Different Brain
    • **Forsaken
    • **How do I remember?
    • **I will have to end this book…
    • **Lies about Linda
    • **Lost
    • **Missing
    • **On the edge of genius
    • **Prosody of speech
    • **Relaxing into the self
    • **Sacrificed
    • **Shame
    • **Special
    • **Survival
    • **Syntropy (negentropy)
    • **What circle is this?
    • **Words
    • *Notes on writing a first book
    • ++Timeline
    • +ADULT ATTACHMENT INTERVIEW PROTOCOL
    • +ATTACHMENT – BEING A SELF VERSUS BEING AN OBJECT
    • +BLOG STATS 2010 – TOP POSTS
    • +CLEAR LINK BETWEEN CHILD ABUSE AND SUBSTANCE P (FOR PAIN)
      • +SUBSTANCE PAIN AND CHILD ABUSE – ARTICLE LINK
    • +CRITICAL INFO ON TRAUMA AND THE BODY VIA VAGUS NERVE (ANS)
    • +DECEMBER 2010 IMPORTANT POSTS on Trauma Altered Development
    • +DISSOCIATION, NERVOUS SYSTEM SHAME REACTION, SUICIDE
    • +Dr. Teicher’s ARTICLE ON TRAUMA ALTERED DEVELOPMENT
    • +IMPORTANT POST ON ALTERED LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT
    • +LINK TO CLEAR ARTICLE ON CHILD ABUSE LIFELONG CONSEQUENCES
    • +LINK TO IMPORTANT ARTICLE ON EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE
    • +LINK TO POST OUTLINE OF ABUSE 0-3 CONSEQUENCES
    • +LINKS TO ‘KIDS COUNT’ – MOST ACCURATE U.S. DATA ON CHILD WELL-BEING
    • +LINKS TO CDC ACE STUDY – LONGTERM CONSEQUENCES OF EARLY TRAUMA AND ABUSE
    • +LINKS TO SOME POPULAR POSTS
    • +MY OWN ABUSIVE INFANT-CHILDHOOD
    • +NOT BEING ABLE TO FEEL WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE LOVED
    • +Posts on language development and infant abuse (and dissociation) Dec. 2010
    • +SEVERE EARLY ABUSE, SUBSTANCE P, LIFELONG PAIN OF SADNESS
    • +THE DOPAMINE-REWARD STUDIES: SERIES OF POSTS YOU REALLY DON’T WANT TO READ
      • +DOPAMINE AND INFANT LEARNING
      • +STUDYING DOPAMINE: POST #1 OF THE HARD TO READ SERIES!
    • +VIOLENT TRAUMA AND MALTREATMENT BIRTH TO AGE THREE (AND BEYOND)
    • The Impact of Maltreatment on the Developing Child (article link)
  • CONTACT INFO
  • DISSOCIATION
    • **2005 BEET HARVEST AND DISSOCIATION
    • *1972 – WHAT I FELT LIKE AT 20
      • *Language of Being Lost
    • *Age 20 – Horrible visit ‘home’ with my daughter
    • *Age 40 – DOING ART THERAPY
    • *Age 58 – MEETING MY MOTHER’S FRIEND
    • *ANTI-DISSOCIATION: REMEMBERING THE FEELING OF FEELING ONE’S SELF IN ONE’S LIFE
    • *DISSOCIATION: MEMORY OF ONGOING EXPERIENCE FROM THE PREY’S POINT OF VIEW
    • *FORENSIC AUTOBIOGRAPHY
    • *In Honor of the Grieving Chicken (2003)
    • *LIVE AND DIE TRYING: OUR CHILDHOOD PAIN IN OUR ADULT RELATIONSHIPS
    • *MY 1976 LETTER TO MY MOTHER -STILL LIVING THE LIE
    • *RESILIENCY – WHY I’M ALIVE – NOT A MYSTERY
    • *THE DAY I ABUSED MY OWN LITTLE SON
    • *’DIS-ASSOCIATION’ BETWEEN RIGHT-LEFT BRAIN HEMISPHERES AND DISMISSIVE-AVOIDANT INSECURE ATTACHMENT DISORDERS
    • +BECOMING HEALERS
    • +D-Day June 17, 2009
      • *Age 9 – BLOODY NOSE – check this as copy?
    • *Age 18 – FROM BOOT CAMP TO MOTHERHOOD
    • *ALL MY DREAMS
      • *1981 Dream (age 29) – Flooding Water, Little Room
    • *Age 21 – Photograph of Me in 1973
    • *Age 35 – The Dream – The Night I Banished the Radical Christians
    • *Age 58 – Art Work Processing
    • *Age 22 – Oct. 1973 ACT college results
    • *Age 34-35 (August 1986 – August 1987) First Sweat Ceremony
    • *Age 35 – Bear Butte and the circle around me (1987)
    • *011610 Zane reading – Cindy and Linda work together?
    • *Age 58 – Artwork October 29, 2009
    • *Age 58 – The simple state of just being in the world
    • *112509 Zane reading on life and death
    • *122809 Zane reading – relocation – Alaska
    • *Age 20 – My March 7, 1972 letter to my parents
    • *Age 20 – My May 1, 1972 letter to my mother
    • *Age 29 – Greyhound bus trip started February 17, 1981 – Journal entries
    • *Ages 29-33 – Eight Letters to a Friend
    • *Commentary on the eight letters to a friend – ages 29-33
    • *Age 29 – Beginning March 1981 Journal After 30-Day Bus Trip
    • *Age 29 – Journal Entries – Trying to Orient and Organize A Lost Self
    • *Age 30 Journal – Sept. through Dec. 1981
    • *Age 30 – Journal from January 1982 through April 1982
    • *Age 30 – Journal from May 1982 through August 1982
    • *Age 31 Journal – Sept. 1982 thru June 10, 1983
    • *Age 31 – Journal Starting June 10 to 27, 1983
    • *Ages 31 – 32 – August 13, 1983 through January 22, 1984 Journal
    • *Ages 35 – 36 – My 1987 Letters to My Mother
    • *Age 36 – My May 10, 1988 Letter Disowning My Mother
    • *Age 57 – Dec. 2007 – July 2008 – (A Shaman Daughter Pages)
      • *First Thought
      • *Second Thought
      • *Third Thought
      • *Fourth Thought
      • *Fifth Thought
      • *Sixth Thought
      • *Seventh Thought
      • *Eighth Thought
      • *Ninth Thought
      • *Tenth Thought
      • *Eleventh Thought
      • *Twelfth Thought
      • *Thirteenth Thought
      • *Fourteenth Thought
      • *Fifteenth Thought
      • *Sixteenth Thought
      • *Seventeenth Thought
    • *Age 57 – March 2009 (whole text) Astrological Reading About My Emotions
      • *Age 57 – Astrology Reading – Here’s just the part on emotions
      • *Age 57 – Astrology Reading – Here’s just the part on my logic
      • *Age 57 – Astrology Reading – Here’s just the part on my feeling different from other people
      • *Age 57 – Astrology Reading – Here’s just the part on my being a teacher
      • *Age 57 – Astrology Reading – Here’s just the part on potential and psychology
      • *Age 57 – Astrology Reading – Here’s just the part on summary and conclusion
    • *Age 58 – October 28, 2009 – Dollar store paint, crayon and marker images
    • *Age 58 – November 5, 2009 – A hard way to be in the world
    • *Age 58 – Astrology reading about life and death
  • EMOTION = Energy In Motion
    • **Buck on Symbolic Communication and Emotions
    • **Dr. Allan Schore on Emotional Regulation – Notes
      • ** Schore – Notes on Developmental Emotional Dysregulation
      • **Notes on Schore – Development of Attachment
      • **Schore on Emotion: Orbitofrontal Notes
      • ++ DR. SCHORE ON MORALITY
      • ++ DR. SCHORE ON SHAME
    • **Happy Tips and “Take A Breather”
    • *DAMASIO NOTES – feeling of what happens
      • **DAMASIO ON CONSCIENCE
      • **DAMASIO ON CONSCIOUSNESS
      • **DAMASIO ON CORE CONSCIOUSNESS
      • **DAMASIO ON EMOTION AND FEELING
      • **DAMASIO ON EXTENDED CONSCIOUSNESS
      • **DAMASIO ON FEELING FEELINGS
      • **DAMASIO ON LANGUAGE AND CONSCIOUSNESS
      • **DAMASIO ON NEUROLOGY OF CONSCIOUSNESS
      • **DAMASIO ON ORGANISM AND OBJECT
      • **DAMASIO ON USING CONSCIOUSNESS
      • **DAMASIO’S APPENDIX – NOTES
    • *EMOTION AND ATTACHMENT
    • *EVOLUTION OF AFFECT
      • **Emotion notes
    • *Fine Tuning Our Emotions
    • *Joy and Happiness
    • *Notes on emotion and meaning
    • *The Shame Spectrum
      • +SEIGEL ON SHAME
    • ++ARCHETYPES OF EMOTION – NEUROENDOCRINE PATTERNS OF EMOTIONAL RESPONSE from James Henry
      • +++MORE HENRY ON BRAIN AND EMOTION
    • ++EMOTION (duplicate?) – set point
    • ++EMOTION AND THE BRAIN
    • +Emotion organizes the brain-mind
    • +SEIGEL ON EMOTION AND BRAIN REGIONS
    • +SIEGEL ON EMOTIONS
      • +SEIGEL ON RESPONSE FLEXIBILITY
      • +SEIGEL ON RIGHT BRAIN AND BLOCKING EMOTIONS
      • +SIEGEL – DEFINING EMOTIONS
      • +SIEGEL – EMOTIONAL REGULATION
      • +SIEGEL – EMOTIONAL SPECIFICITY
      • +SIEGEL – EMOTIONS – ASSIGNING VALUE
      • +SIEGEL – EMOTIONS AND A SENSE OF TIME
    • ANXIETY SPECTRUM
      • +VAN DER KOLK ON TRAUMA AND NOTES
        • +VAN DER KOLK ON TRAUMATIC STRESS
    • Silvan S. Tomkins – “Affect – Imagery – Consciousness” 1962
      • +TOMKINS ON AFFECT
      • +TOMKINS ON ATTENTION
      • +TOMKINS ON EVOLUTION OF AFFECT
      • +TOMKINS ON FREE WILL
      • +TOMKINS ON PAIN
  • GOD LOVE
    • *”Of all the weapons in the world….”
    • *A TRUE PHILOSOPHER
    • *ABOUT OUR TESTS AND DIFFICULTIES
    • *ATTACHMENT ONLY TO GOD
    • *BEING A SPIRITUAL SEEKER
    • *CHILD ABUSE AND THE JOURNEY OF MY SOUL
    • *DEATH, SICKNESS OF BODY AND THE SOUL
    • *DON’T FORGET TO SING SING SING SING!!
    • *EMOTION AND SPIRITUALITY
    • *EXPIRATION DATE AND THE NEW WORLD
    • *HOW GOD WANTS US TO BE IN THE WORLD
    • *NO MATTER WHAT – HAVE NO ENEMY
    • *PRAY FOR OUR PARENTS
    • *PRAYER – ALL HUMANITY HAS BEEN CREATED ‘FROM THE SAME STOCK’
    • *RETRACING MY STEPS AS THE “BANISHED AND FAITHFUL FRIEND”
    • *SELF DEFENSE – SPIRITUAL CLARIFICATION
    • *SOUL AFTER DEATH (AND STORIES OF THE SOUL)
    • *Spiritual assistance with “doing good” in these dark times – from The Advent of Divine Justice
    • *THE 1ST 21 HIDDEN WORDS
    • *THE DIVINE PHYSICIAN (aspirations of our soul)
    • *THE FOOD OF MY SOUL – “THINE HEART IS MY TREASURY…”
    • *THE UNIVERSAL LOVE
    • *TWO WINGS OF THIS BIRD I AM – MY SOUL AND MY WORLDLY SELF
    • *UNCONSCIOUS PEOPLE
    • *UNDERSTANDING AND TRUTH
    • *WOMEN’S ROLE IN ESTABLISHING WORLD PEACE
    • *YES, ALL OF OUR ACTIONS MATTER!
    • +PRAYER FOR PROTECTION
    • +THE RIGHT METHOD OF TREATING CRIMINALS
  • LINDA’S ADOBE PEACE GARDEN
  • MY BORDERLINE MOM
    • *Link – about embarrassment and mother
    • *ZELAZO development of self control
      • **BIBLIOGRAPHY RELATED TO ZELAZO’S WORK
      • **ZELAZO – ARTICLE ON DEVELOPMENT OF CONSCIOUS CONTROL
  • MY SIBLINGS’ COMMENT PAGES
    • *BROTHER (1950)’s PAGES
      • *Statement from my oldest brother (1950)
      • *1959 – May – John and Dad walking up the mountain
      • *1960 (ish) – 2nd road being built – fantastic photo of my dad and oldest brother
      • *Brother John’s Letters to Grandma
        • *1963 – October 14 – John’s letter to grandma – returning from Santa Fe
    • *CINDY’S (1953) PAGES
      • **Cindy’s Letter to Mother 1994
      • *Cindy’s gym suit note
      • *Notes from a conversation with my (1953) sister
      • *Sister Cindy’s Childhood Letters
        • *July 11, 1960 – Cindy’s Letter to Grandma
        • *May 30, 1963 – Cindy’s Letter to Grandma
        • *October 18, 1965 – Cindy’s Letter to Dad
      • **CINDY’S BLOG POST on Mother (060409)
      • +Sister’s comment posted November 29, 2009
    • *SISTER (1955)’S PAGES
    • *BROTHER (1961)’S PAGES
      • *Comment posted by 1961 Brother
    • *BROTHER (1965)’S PAGES
      • **FAMILY TIME – by Brother (1965)
      • **SELLING THE HOMESTEAD
      • *RED ROBIN
    • The Aleutian Lulluby
  • OUR ABUSIVE CHILDHOODS and TRAUMA
    • *ADVERSIVE CHILDHOODS (notes from chapter 4)
      • *Holocaust mothers and offspring PTSD
    • *Child Abuse
      • **Extreme Early (Infant on Up) Child Abuse
      • **How did our early abuse change us?
      • *Infant Abuse in the News
    • *Notes – Body Survival
    • *TRAUMA STUDIES
      • **Vocabulary of trauma
      • *Atlanta Trauma Study
      • *Infants born with PTSD, mothers preg during 911
      • *OVERWHELMING TRAUMA CHANGES
      • *Societal PTSD in Northern Ireland
      • *Study on Trauma and Kids in Africa
        • *Study on Trauma and Inner City Kids
    • +ALICE MILLER
    • CDC Adverse Childhood Experience Study
      • CDC ACE study – for men
      • CDC ACE study – for women
      • CDC ACE study – health questions men
      • CDC ACE study – health questions women
      • LINKS for CDC Study
    • DISSOCIATION
    • GENETIC CONSIDERATIONS
      • Epigenetics
    • – CHILD ABUSE AND TRAUMA
  • OUR GRANDPARENTS’ PAGES
    • *Grandmother Cahill’s Autobiographical Writings
      • *Grandmother Cahill’s circa 1930 Writing About Her Father and Husband
      • *Grandmother’s Autobiographcial Writings About Childhood and Motherhood
    • *Grandmother’s Notes On Analyzing Mother’s Handwriting
    • *My father’s brother
    • + 11-21-1962 Letter from Mother – Her Father’s Will
    • +GRANDMOTHER’S LETTERS TO MY MOTHER
      • *Grandmother’s 1-23-1961 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 1-9-1960 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 10-2-1961 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 12-10-1959 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 12-14-1959 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 12-22-1959 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 12-3-1959 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 3-19-1960 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 3-2-1960 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 3-23-1960 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 4-17-1960 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 4-9-1960 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 7-10-1960 Letter to Mother (depressed)
      • *Grandmother’s 7-12-1960 (2nd) Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 7-12-1960 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 7-6-1960 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 8-22-1960 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 8-5-1962 Letter to Mother
      • *Granmother’s 12-5-1959 Letter to Mother and Father
      • *Grandmother’s 3-3-1960 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 6-13-1959 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 6-7-1963 Letter To Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 9-8-1963 Letter to Mother
      • *1963 – December 6 – Grandmother’s letter to mother
      • *Grandmother’s 3-27-1964 Letter to Mother (written day of great Alaskan earthquake)
      • *Grandmother’s 3-28-1964 Letter to Mother the Day After the Great Earthquake (she knows nothing)
      • *Grandmother’s 3-29-1964 Letter to Mother After Earthquake (still hasn’t heard from us)
      • *Grandmother’s 3-31-1964 Letter to Mother (after quake)
      • *Grandmother’s 4-2-1964 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 4-5-1964 Letter to Mother (after earthquake)
      • *Grandmother’s 4-30-1964 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 5-9-1964 Letter to Mother
      • *Grandmother’s 5-14-1964 Letter to Mother (talks about ‘religion’)
      • *Grandmother’s 10-2-1966 Letter to Mother
    • *MOTHER’S PARENTS BLESSED (AND CURSED?)
    • *Link to Mother’s July 1, 1963 Letter About the Death of Her Father
    • *Link to 1955 photograph of grandmother and 3 kids
    • *Written 1974 – Mildred’s family story
    • +Mother’s comments on Dad’s mother 2-15-1958
    • *1963 – August 21 – Letter from Grandmother to Dad
    • *Grandmother’s 9-8-1963 Letter to Mother
    • *My Father’s (disowned) Parents’ Letter After the Earthquake 4-1-1964
  • Power of Story
    • *070509 SHORT STORY – DADDY’S GONE
    • *070609 SHORT STORY – SMALL CHANGES
    • *070709 SHORT STORY – COMPLICATED FORGIVENESS
    • *METAPHOR
    • *NEW LINK TO – My Mother’s Childhood Stories
    • *THE MEANING OF MENDING OUR LIFE STORY
    • ++SCAER on trauma reenactments
    • +KARPMAN, Transactional Analysis and Drama
    • Children and Story
    • Drama and Trauma Drama
    • Vignettes and Metaphor
  • References
  • SPECTRUM GIRL
    • +(childhood) USING PAPER TO CREATE MY SELF
    • +ALWAYS
    • +AUTISM – A PARTICULAR KIND OF PERPETUAL INNOCENCE – 01/31/2017
    • +DESCRIPTION OF THE ART THERAPY “POWDER PUFF” EXPERIENCE – reposted here 01/31/2017
    • +INFO – 01/31/2017 – Neuroscience and Metaphor (autism?)
    • +LITTLE BATS – POEM – 02/01/2017
    • +MAYBE
    • +NOTES – 02/26/2017 – Something about “place”
    • +NOTES – 02/27/2017 – “Feeling – here or not here?”
    • +NOTES – 02/28/2017 – “Reconciliations” as they operate in the brain re: how humans value and decide/choose
    • +NOTES 01/30/2017 – rethinking my child & adulthood through the spectrum lens
    • +NOTES 02/20/2017 –
  • VERY HUMAN BOOK
    • Day Care Dilemmas – August 26, 2015
    • First Full Day – August 28, 2015
    • The Anger – August 29, 2015
  • WE the U.S. and the WORLD
    • +”THE SOUL’S POWER”
    • +09-11-11: Justice versus tyranny in the world – voice of truth
    • +MEASURE OF AMERICAN WELL-BEING: 2010-2011 RISK AND RESILIENCE REPORT
    • +North Dakota’s Tribes Oppose Keystone XL Tar Sands Pipeline (091311)
    • +UNITED NATIONS CIVIL SOCIETY NETWORK LINKS
  • WELL-BEING
    • *RESEARCH LANGUAGE ABOUT RESILIENCY
    • +RESILIENCY – ARTICLE LINKS ON FAMILY COPING STRATEGIES
    • +RISK, STRESS AND DISTRESS
    • HEALING WOUNDS
      • *Trauma Recovery – notes on Waking the Tiger
      • DEGREES OF WELL BEING
        • **FROM GENDLIN – FOCUSIN-ORIENTED PSYCHOTHERAPY (self)
        • *Allostasis and Allostatic Load
        • *LEARNING (notes from chapter 2)
        • *Magic of the Animals
        • *Notes on treatment models – Bateman and Fonagy
        • *REMEMBERING THE SELF (notes from Chapter 1)
          • **Informed Compassion
        • OUR HUMAN CONTINUUM
      • MEMORY AND PILLS
      • REPRODUCTIVE FITNESS INDICATORS
      • Ruminations
      • Treatment – Neuro feedback
        • *Trauma Memory – beta blockers
  • WHAT PICTURES TELL
    • +Photographs of My Mother
      • *Assorted homesteading photographs of mother – Mildred Anne Cahill Lloyd (12-25 to 3-2002)
      • *1943 Mother – Her Senior High School Picture (and her high school sweetheart’s)
      • *1959 – May – Mother Walking the Mountain Road – “Starting Home”
      • *1959 Mother walking mountain in the darkness
      • *1943 – Mildred Ann Cahill Lloyd – Senior High School Picture
      • *1960 (circa) Mom planting the fields
      • *1962 Link to picture of mom washing her face after planting fields
    • +THE ALASKAN NEIGHBORS
    • +1957 Photographs
    • +1958 Photographs
      • *1958 – An odd photo of our old FORD
      • 1958 – Old Chugiak High School – John went to elementary in this building
    • +1959 Photographs
      • *1959 – Children New To the Mountain – Loving IT!
      • *1959 – May – Walking the Mountain – Barely A Road
      • *1959 December
        • *1959-1960 Proving Up on Land – Winter – Me and Smokey
        • *1959 July
          • *1959 July Birthday on homestead
        • *1959 – Children in the homestead snow
      • *1959 June
        • *1959 June – Homesteader Sharon and the Hut
      • *1959 – Jeep Truck With Jamesway, Pollard, Tractor
      • *1959 Spring Breakup – Dad with Stuck Jeep
      • *1959 – January – Dad and Jeep station wagon at Pollard’s house
      • *1959 – Can barely see it – trailer parked at bottom of Horror Hill
      • *1959 – April Fool’s Day – Gray trailer with Jeep pickup parked at Pollard’s
      • *1959 – April Fool’s Day – Moved to Gray Trailer, photo with Jeep truck
      • *1959 – May – More walking up the homestead mountain road
      • *1959 – The jeep road leading from Eagle River road into the valley
      • *1959 – April 3 – Kids on mountain road with patient father on tractor
    • +1960 Photographs
      • *1960 – April 3 – Dad Stuck in Snow on Tractor
      • *1960 Walking Up Mountain in Snow (Me and Cindy)
      • *1960 – May 7 – 4 of us all genuinely HAPPY! YAY!!!
      • *circa 1960 – Our Dog, Smokey (alone with wagon)
      • *1960 – Precious picture dad, John, Cindy, Sharon and a wheelbarrow of seed for the fields
      • *1960 August Final Plowing of the Fields – Oliver OC-3 and Plow
    • +1961 Photographs
      • *1961 September
    • +1962 Photographs
      • *1962 – Summer -Mother washing face after planting fields with dad
      • *1962 – Log house nursery
    • +1966 Photographs
      • *1966 – Link to Steve age one, with mother
      • *1966 – E. Hawthorne Street – Tucson, Arizona – Steve’s First Steps
    • *1959 Homestead summer and winter
    • *1963 – Trip to Santa Fe – Here at Grand Canyon – mom and kids
    • *Adding wood ends onto the Jamesway (circa 1968?)
    • *1958 – August 26 – Mother Voted on the Alaskan Statehood Referendum
    • *1959 – Big Moose
    • *1959 – Dad (looks like Steve), Cindy and John on “Castle Rock” on Homestead
    • +Collection of photographs on building a road
    • *1960 (ish) – Building the Second Mountain Homestead Road
    • *1963 Eagle River From the Air
    • *1963 – June 11 – Family Portrait
    • *Two pictures of Bill and Mildred together
    • *1963 – August 5 – Fire Damaged Copy of Patent Number 1232827 for 120 Acre Homestead
    • *1963 – August – Chevrolet Station Wagon and David – trip to Santa Fe, New Mexico
    • *1963 – August 20 note from dad – Got patent to 120 acres
    • *1963 5 kids and mom by cabin (possibly on trip to Santa Fe)
    • *1965 – Tucson rented house on Hawthorne St.
    • *1966 – February – Clearing Second Fields – last 5 acres
    • *1966 – March 3 – postcard from Dad to Mom (we are in Tucson) – RE: title to last 40 acres
    • *1967 – The Alaska Department of Highways Letters RE: Eagle River Road Extension
  • WHERE WAS MY FATHER?
    • *Link to October 21, 2009 Post About My Father
    • *Link to post (093009) about my father’s missing ‘self’
    • *My Father and All the Broken Vehicles
    • *Photographs – My Father
      • *1961 – Dad and David
      • *1957 Dad with Christmas Tree and 3 of His 4 Children – Where’s Linda?
      • *1959 – 1960 Serious winter – Dad smiling on tractor
      • *1959 April – Dad, truck towed with Jamesway floor up muddy Horror Hill
      • *1959 April 1st – Dad and Gray Jeep Truck
      • *1959 May – Dad with kids on big rock – leaving me out of the ‘family’
      • *1960 April 3 – Dad on Tractor in Snow
      • *1959 January link to Dad, Jeep at Pollard’s house
      • *1965-1966 – Dad in house
      • *Link to April 3, 1960 picture of Dad on tractor stuck in snow
      • *1963 – August 18 – Letter From Dad to Grandma
      • *1966 – April 6 – Letter from Army Corp – Dad not going
      • *1967 (circa) Dad and the red Toyota
    • *Poem my father wrote to my mother
    • *1959 September 11 – Dad’s note to Grandmother about $ troubles
    • *1962 November – The 5th Year Moose Hunt
    • *1963 – August – Dad’s Civil Engineer Work Promotion Form
    • *My father’s first letter from Alaska June 11, 1957
    • *1959 – April 3 – Father on tractor with kids on mountain road in snow
    • *1961 Dad and Baby David (on changing table)
    • *1963 – August 12 – Letter from Dad to Mother
    • *1963 – August 19 – Letter From Dad to Mother – He’s in Alaska, we’re on way to Santa Fe, New Mexico
    • *1963 – August 23 – Dad’s Letter to Mother
    • *1963 – August 26 – Letter from Dad to Mother –
    • *1963 – September 3 – Dad’s Letter to Mother While the Rest of Us Are In New Mexico
    • *1963 – September 4 – Letter from dad to mother
    • *1963 – September 6 – Dad’s Letter to Mother
    • *1963 – September 8 — Dad’s Letter to Mother
    • *1963 – October – trip back from Santa Fe – Dad at Grand Canyon
    • *1968 or 1969 – Link to phograph of Dad adding wood ends onto Jamesway
  • WORLD IN TRAVAIL
    • +CALAMITIES AND CRISES – Some Bahá’í Guidance
  • Your Page – Readers’ Responses
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Stop the Storm

The most important work we can do, individually and globally, is the healing and prevention of traumas so that we don't pass them down to future generations. This blog is a working tool to contribute to this good work.

+LITTLE BATS – POEM – 02/01/2017

++++

humans make too much drama
too much sound
like bats
sending out screams
“ARE WE ALL ALONE DOWN HERE?”
like misplaced alien
angels
++++

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