Monday, March 31, 2014. (#2) It comes to me as I inadvertently consider the implications contained in the first post I wrote today that severe early trauma survivors carry within us both the toxins of that trauma and the cure for those toxins. We are living paradox. How could we, how did we, how do with LIVE with what defies life?
We are not mediocre people and perhaps in a society that denies the fact that it more than welcomes mediocrity we threaten just by the fact that we are PEOPLE OF POWER. There could not be anything mediocre about us or we would not be here – as in, we would be long gone DEAD.
We are not status quo people, either. We were not formed in a status quo environment. Trauma is anything BUT status quo. Trauma exists at the same time it is the epitome of a challenge to what ordinary is. Trauma is an EXTRAORDINARY experience. If it was ordinary it would not be traumatic.
We are EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE. We found ways to endure what could not be endured, many of us from the time we were born.
How do people who were not trauma-challenged during their most formative developmental stages of life ever come to KNOW that they are capable of greatness? We as survivors know we are capable of greatness because if we weren’t we would be – well, you know – DEAD.
Are we celebrated as the heroic warriors against the darkness of pervasive evil that we are, for that is what we survived?
I am just wondering, are there times (plenty of times) when nonsurvivors are not willing to know they are fully capable of listening to us tell of our reality simply because if they DID listen to us they would have to (1) recognize our greatness at the same time they would also have to (2) recognize that they have never grown as individuals so strong, so resilient or so powerful as we have?
Now. Make no mistake about it. “Shooting the messenger” is a pattern that exists all around us. Did we CHOOSE to be terrorized when we were little people, without solace, comfort, safety, protection or even love to sustain us?
We most certainly did NOT make this choice. But once in the broiler of early trauma that would have left us cinders and smoke if we had not been able to find what we needed inside of our self to endure and fight back we obviously made the right choice.
What of people who have never been put into any situation that would have required of them such choices, such actions?
What do people of trauma awaken in those without such horrible early histories of abuse and neglect?
I’ll let you know if I ever find such a person willing and able to tell me.
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2 thoughts on “+HEY! YOUR HISTORY OR MINE?”
In “The Narcissistic Family” book that I recommended, in the last chapter, they use two terms that apply to us that I like…”defectively special” and “terminally unique”. I think it perfectly describes those of us who have suffered greatly as children and are now trying to come to grips with the paradox that is us.
I would take the “terminally unique” but not the “defectively special.”
I ALWAYS try to remember that we are living in a very, very sick society. Yes, there is a “mismatch” on many levels between us and the mainstream world, but the mainstream world is “defective” in my thinking.
I went with my family to the local small but very nice zoo here last Sunday. They have three Bactrian (two hump) camels. There are now a total of 950 of these magnificent harmless animals left on the planet. 950!!! This is NOT a healthy world!
Those of us who were forced to adapt in very “unique” ways in order to survive may be special, but not defective. Those camels CANNOT “adapt” to survive. They are at the mercy of the human species who is destroying them — along with so many others.