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I awoke this morning with a renewed resolve to improve my ability to articulate what I know — which is the same as what I believe — about the subject of how violence and lack of well-being is transmitted not only down the generations but also sideways into the society in which we all reside.
My inability to articulate what I feel is so important will stop troubling me either when I die — or when I figure out how to exactly communicate what I believe is so important. Being able to articulate what is so important to me means that somehow an interested audience must also be found that is willing to take a look at what I have to say.
The words of ROBIN KARR-MORSE AND DAVID LAWRENCE Jr. speak to me only partially of the truth. I feel so frustrated with myself that so far I do not have the gift of articulation to present truths such as they did as I presented them in my previous post, +AN IMPORTANT ARTICLE: “Violence and the brain in early childhood development”
They are missing an extremely important point — if not THE most important point!
When they use the term “MADMAN” they neglected to mention that it is just as likely that a “MADWOMAN” will arise in consequence of the early insecure and unsafe relationship conditions that create a “MADMAN.”
It is not likely that a “MADWOMAN” is going to pick up guns to attack innocents in public. That does not mean that a “MADWOMAN” is not going to create great harm!
In fact, it is some degree of “MADWOMAN” who causes the kind of early relationship harm that these authors so articulately describe. That they mention the harm without mentioning the cause when it comes to exactly who it is that is responsible for the kind of harmful brain changes in infants that they DO describe — how is it that they are missing this most important part of the story?
What is the societal ignorance that contributes to our refusal to accept the fact that the changes in an infant’s physiological development described by these authors begins with WOMEN? I happen to know personally what it was like to be raised by a MADWOMAN who was exactly the female version of the MADMAN.
Male physiology, as I mentioned in my comment to my last post, is designed differently (DUH!) from females’. An ‘evolutionarily altered’ male will attack the wider world because that is what their body is designed by nature to do in worst-case scenarios.
An ‘evolutionarily altered’ female is going to attack within her home and will most harm her own offspring. That is what the dictates of HER physiology will tell her to do.
Just because we as a society are not willing to look behind the closed doors of what happens within the home does not mean that this is EXACTLY where we are supposed to look.
What is going on in the minds of such articulate, knowledgeable and motivated-for-good writers that they neglect to mention what happens to the FEMALE of our species when early attachment relationship interactions completely FAIL?
These women will perpetrate crimes within their homes against their family.
Because these crimes are ‘hidden’ — and hidden only because we refuse to LOOK for or at them — means that we are STILL missing the truth of ‘the story’ these authors are telling. We are refusing to admit that women can be criminals within their own home? We are refusing to admit that when the essential attachment-brain-building experiences an infant needs to not grow up to be a MADWOMAN or a MADMAN a crime has been committed by a MOTHER — who ‘just happens to be’ a woman?
Nobody can solve a mathematical equation if they refuse to look at and consider what lies on the other side of the equal sign. Equality between men and women means that we must accept ‘the dirt’ as it exists within each half of our species right along with accepting what we WANT to accept.
While I am disappointed in my own lack of ability to smoothly convey in lay terms the complexity of physiological changes that happen to infants raised in the deprivation of malevolent early environments versus the positive development of infants who DO receive what they need within a benevolent environment to live a life of well-being, at least I am willing to think through the entire equation!
Blaming MALES for violence is not right and it’s not fair.
Women commit violence in their homes — against their own children. Even though we might wish to magically think that women remain the romanticized version of ‘innocents’ in our society so that they cannot be seen as vicious and violent offenders, that thinking belongs in storybooks only. It is extremely harmful thinking.
Even when a mother ‘innocently’ harms her infant in the ways the above authors describe, her actions might be done out of ignorance but they are still criminal actions. They have great power to destroy the quality of lives. Mothers’ actions and inactions toward infants do create the MADMAN just as they create the MADWOMAN. What is it about our society that we blind ourselves to this fact?
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Followed by this post:
Stop the Storm 