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I am feeling neglectful of my blog — because I have been. My oldest brother was here last week for a visit and left today. He got me started on a boundary-fence building project in my back yard so I can claim my positive space away from a very negative neighbor (and his piles and piles of stinking garbage). Budget is extremely limited, so am tearing apart a broken down shed in the back and reusing every scrap of material for the fence.
It’s good to be outside in this warm spring weather. I’ll be able to sit in my back yard now and gaze at the sky as the brilliant moon glides westward. I plan to make some adobe blocks to add to my building project, and hope to create some garden space.
Truth be told, I am battling sadness and sorrow. I refuse to call it ‘depression’ though I know that it is. I have been watching my dreaming time, and true to my post, +DEPRESSION EVEN GETS OUR DREAMING TIME, my dreaming and my sleeping are not ‘right’ — or at least not like ten years ago. That fact is hitting me pretty ‘close to the bone’, and is not something I can tell myself I am imagining.
If, somehow, my dreaming-sleeping can improve, I will know it. I am hoping that I can find ways to be more peaceful with myself, more gentle, more accepting. I am working in that direction, anyway.
So, I just wanted to make the effort to write something here, even something small. I’ll include a picture of what I am ‘walling off’ as I set my back yard boundaries, claiming some private, peaceful space for myself where I can be outside, which is good for me and healing. I’ll post more pictures as the job progresses!
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Stop the Storm 
I could use that extension cord if you don’t mind…..
We are Pagan here, and have been trying to heal our 2&1/2 acres for the past 5 years after a printing shop used it to dump their chemicals and plates (we didn’t know that when we bought the property). It has gone very well, and the land seems to respond by giving us flowers and berries we didn’t know we had, animals are making their homes here again (I’m not so thrilled about the bear, though), and the grass has finally come back all over the yard. It’s hard work. I’m trying to think about what we could grow in the garden this year instead of obsessing about my psychological state so I can start getting excited about getting my hands in the dirt again. It’s not working, but we are in Zone 4-5 so I have until Memorial Day to get my crap together.
Good luck with the fence, remember to take frequent breaks and stay hydrated, and enjoy yourself.
Lisa
Good, recycling fence idea! Ya know, if I squint I can see Pennsylvania across the way……but they don’t patrol that border like they used to…..
If I get depressed I need to do something physical. Relaxation makes me think more and that makes me more depressed. The fence can keep you busy and then you have a garden to plan. It’s also okay to just get the fence up with what you have now, and replace it with wood, etc., when you can afford it. It doesn’t need to be pretty, just effective for now.
I haven’t been depressed lately because my brain is in hyper-mode, but nature sounds, alpha, delta, and theta tones have been helping to keep the noise down inside. Some I downloaded from Limewire onto my MP3 player, I like having this site running in the background: http://www.rainymood.com, and this person makes awesome “white noise” cheap: http://www.soundsleeping.com.
I hope you feel better and good for you setting your boundaries so you don’t have to see your neighbor’s garbage. Maybe when it’s done you will relax more and feel comfortable in that space you created.
Take care.
Lisa
Yes, Lisa. Years ago when I spent a few months visiting my brother when he lived in Ashland, OR I met an amazing Apache elder. She owned a string of self-maintaining storage locker units as well as her own semi trailer. She traveled the nation, following the call of Spirit, bought houses/land and stayed until she healed the spot.
When it was time to move on she packed all her household belongings in the trailer, hired a driver-tractor and moved on.
Right here where I am, I don’t have the resources to beautify and clean up the surrounding area, but I can follow Josie’s lead and work to heal this peace of land where I live as the work and the land heals me. I am dragging 150′ of extension cord (that I am fortunate to have as a resource), my power drills and a box of screws out to the southeast corner of my newly forming fence line and going to work.
Yes, Lisa. Years ago when I spent a few months visiting my brother when he lived in Ashland, OR I met an amazing Apache elder. She owned a string of self-maintaining storage locker units as well as her own semi trailer. She traveled the nation, following the call of Spirit, bought houses/land and stayed until she healed the spot.
When it was time to move on she packed all her household belongings in the trailer, hired a driver-tractor and moved on.
Right here where I am, I don’t have the resources to beautify and clean up the surrounding area, but I can follow Josie’s lead and work to heal this piece (peace) of land where I live as the work and the land heals me. I am dragging 150′ of extension cord (that I am fortunate to have as a resource), my power drills and a box of screws out to the southeast corner of my newly forming fence line and going to work.