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The saga continues.  Dr. Allan Schore writes in great detail about how patterns of rupture and repair are built into an infant’s developing brain — either under optimal conditions or under malevolent ones.  Nobody can ever be completely ‘in synch’ with others all of the time.  Ruptures are to be expected.  It is critical that healthy patterns of repairing these ruptures get built into the new brain through safe and secure early care giver interactions.

Without healthy, safe and securely attached rupture and repair patterns, insecure attachment patterns will predominantly ‘rule’ the brain — and a person’s resulting actions.  The dominant patters will be of rupture without hope of repair.  Humans do not do well with that scenario, and thus adapt as they find ways to accomplish the needed repair.

I DO believe that my parents were doing the best that they could do with one another — given what they knew and what they had to work with.  This letter gives us some clues about how the ‘repair after rupture’ part of their relationship worked.

*1963 – September 9 – Mother’s “repair” response letter to dad

In context:

• *September 1963 – Mother’s Letters
• *1963 – Mother’s Letters

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Please don’t rush by the active link I put up there in the post!  This link leads to important insecure attachment information: 

patterns of rupture and repair

This information describes how in early infant-caregiver interactions, the infant is never the one who causes the rupture.  It is always the caregiver, and it is vitally important that the one who causes an infant-caregiver  rupture is the one who repairs it.  Once an infant can move around in the world by itself some distance from its caregiver, rupture and repair patterns already built into the brain begin to expand their affects — and these expanded patterns begin to build what we can call the

‘shame reaction pattern’.

The increasing complexity of the brain-mind and nervous system are fundamentally tied into how the rupture-repair patterns were established in early infant development, and continue to be ‘directed’ by information the growing infant-child receives throughout the ‘shame reaction’ stage of early human development.  As this new stage of mobilization within the wider world is safely and securely negotiated with others, what our body-brain knows about rupture and repair can be expanded to include our every more increasingly complex interactions between ourselves and other members of our social species.  — see

shame and the nervous system

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