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The following are the words that begin a new chapter in my healing journey.  Tonight I give myself permission  to get to know what I can about my father.  I have created a new heading page for him.

WHERE WAS MY FATHER?

Under this tab I will begin to accumulate information about my father.  I will be brave enough to let my inner self guide me in my searching and re-searching.

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Today, September 28, 2009 I feel I am finally ready to begin to face down my own feelings about my father.  I want to do this because I have NEVER made any progress toward finding my own truth about who and how my father was in my life — either when I was a child or when I was an adult — by continuing to ‘try’ to be angry with him.

My truth today is that there’s a mystery here.  I don’t KNOW my father.  He is talked about in my mother’s letters.  I even have access to letters that he wrote himself.  I have a right to explore and examine my father — as much a right as I have to do this in regard to my mother.

These pages will reflect my efforts to find my father.  I have nobody to answer to about him but myself.  I am granting myself permission to do my own explorations, find my own ‘evidence’,  search for my own understandings, come to my own conclusions — about my father.  Nobody stops me but myself.

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