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The following is taken from pages 98 – 99 of Mother Teresa’s words found in the book Mother Teresa’s Reaching Out in Love: Stories Told by Mother Teresa by Edward Le Joly and Jaya Chaliha (Hardcover – 2002)
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I Love You, God
After a long and lively interview with Mother Teresa, Mr Kato, a Japanese journalist, admitted, ‘I still have trouble believing in God’s love. What can you do with someone like me?’
Mother said: ‘What you have to do is go down on your knees and pray:
My God, I believe in you.
My god, I love you.
My God, I trust you.
I am sorry.
‘Then do some small things with great love. Help somebody. Maybe just smile. Is there a person who has hurt you? You go and forgive that person. Is there some bitterness? Go and say it is forgiven. And you will find Him. God cannot be found when we are unforgiving.
‘Look at this flower. It is so beautiful. Can you make it or can I? Only He can. See the colours. This is the presence of God. Everyone here, each one has something beautiful. Take your body, it is so beautiful, so pure. Why? He has made it.
‘Life? No one can give it but God. You find Him in you. You will find that He was there all the time. He is in your heart, only you have covered Him up.’
Pointing to the instrument on the table, Mother continues, ‘It is like this tape recorder. You don’t see what is inside, but it is a beautiful tape recorder. God is inside your heart, but He is covered up, and you must believe.
‘How do you believe? Say often during the day: “My God in my heart, I believe in your faithful love for me. I love you.” Can you remember that? Can you write that? God loves me.’
Mother gave Mr Kato a card with the drawing of a child at rest in the Hand of God. Writing his name on it, Mother continues, ‘You are that little child in the Hand of God. YOU.’ She quoted from the Holy Bible: ‘I will never forget you. I have carved you in the palm of my hand. I have called you by your name. You are mine. You are precious to me. I love you.’ (Isaiah)
Mr Kato said, “I understand that this child is me but I don’t know if this is God’s Hand or not!’
Mother replied, ‘Do you find it difficult to believe that? Well, there is no need to believe. It is like that. Two and two make four. You don’t have to believe. God is. There is nothing more to say than that.’
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I bought the book after she died and the news of her faith crisis hit the airwaves. I could never bring myself to read the book. I admire her as much as I ever did and nothing could take away the good that she did for so many people.
Oh, I know exactly what you mean!
btw, I am still ‘thinking about’ the melancholy piece!
Interestingly, Mother Teresa struggled greatly with her own faith in God for a good part of her life.
I have heard that, and thought about it as I typed in her words here. I heard her private writings appeared after her death that truly confirmed her struggles. Coming from a completely — yet also similar — angle, Sylvia Plath’s private writings were published and disputed after her death. I think about these issues even as I work with my dead mother’s letters. Is there some unspoken ‘rule’ that we leave the dead in peace, no matter how much good or ill their lives seemed to bring into the world through their life’s acts? Even Carl Jung, who was finally persuaded to write his memoirs, did so only under certain promise that they would never be published until after his death.
I always knew throughout my adulthood that I was not willing to write ‘my story’ until my parents had left this world. That was certainly without my EVER having the thought that I would end up with my mother’s writings.
I don’t feel right now that I have the courage to read Mother Teresa’s letters. Thank you for the link. I will read the reviews. Have you read it? By the way, I am not Catholic, but there is no possible way that Mother Teresa’s life and works could not impress goodness on my heart.
I posted those particular words of Mother Teresa’s because they bring me a particular comfort. Before we knew the world was round we believed it was flat. Now we know the world is round. It just is. I think those with severe early abuse histories and resulting insecure attachment disorders will always struggle with what love is — and that, for me, has complicated my ability to know and to love God. I can more easily grasp that God just is like 2 plus 2 equals 4. Those thoughts help me move from a place of questioning belief closer to a place of simply knowing.