+DISSOCIATION AND TRAUMA-CHANGED INFANT SEQUENTIAL LEFT BRAIN DEVELOPMENT

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I really believe that one of the repeating experiences any survivor of early severe trauma and abuse has – because our earliest experiences built us and built themselves into us – in the BODY memory (of course processed and translated through our trauma-built brain) of what THREAT TO LIFE feels like.  I am mere moments away from being picked up by medical transport to go have a CT scan done as a follow-up for the breast cancer treatments I received and completed three years ago.  I am in the midst of having what I know today as ‘a life hanging in the balance’ moment.  Or should I say, an entire sequence of those moments?

Oddly enough – yet logically enough – my entire experience this morning as I wait now without food intake for the magic moment I begin to drink that very weird barium mix in my refrigerator – is ALSO connected to something my daughter shared with me last night regarding my 10-month-old grandson, C.

C’s mommy has been establishing an evening bedtime routine which includes bath time to remove the food from his body and hair as he is learning to feed himself – a fun and very messy process!  Then comes the hair brushing.  Then comes the tooth brushing.  Mommy has the cutest little baby toothbrush – a little soft rubber thing with soft bristles on it that she sticks on the end of her pointer finger and puts into his mouth.  Brush!  Brush!

Last night after brushing C’s hair mommy was in full movement to hand C the hairbrush so he could practice brushing his own hair (which he does).  In mid-movement mommy noticed with surprise that after his hair had been brushed he immediately opened his mouth for the toothbrush.

He KNEW what was SUPPOSED to happen next.

Rather than disturb this amazing rhythm of sequenced happenings-events, mommy DID then brush his teeth before she handed her little one his hairbrush.

NO BIG DEAL?

HUGE DEAL!

Among the many sticky notes that I have attached to this ‘ordinary’ infant-toddler growth and development chart I have propped here by my computer is this one, labeled “15 months.”

Emotional activities and mechanisms of memory operating at this specific time.”

Unfortunately when I was doing my developmental neuroscience research a few years ago and spotted this milestone, I neglected to write the citation for this tidbit of critical information!

Today when I Google search “brain development mechanisms of memory” a host of webpages appear on my screen.  If the page doesn’t come up when you click on this link, just pop these words into your own Google search and you will see what I mean.

At the moment I will just connect my thoughts together into a pattern with something else I know from this morning.

Having cancer is a distressing, traumatic experience.  For me, as a severely abused and traumatized infant-child, my ‘routine’ of experience with my earliest caregivers did very very little to establish ‘reason-able’ routine into my growing body-brain.  What I got was CHAOS.

I am used to thinking about my resulting DISSOCIATION in terms of its ‘opposite’ – ASSOCIATION.  I know we have ‘a prefrontal associational complex in our cerebral cortex’.

The cerebral cortex is a sheet of neural tissue that is outermost to the cerebrum of the mammalian brain. It plays a key role in memory, attention, perceptual awareness, thought, language, and consciousness.

Without swimming around in the neuroscience soup at the moment, it’s enough for me to note here that development of our cortex speeds up in its rapid growth in the second year of life.  When this happens for a little one within a traumatic, malevolent, chaotic and terrifying early caregiving environment – lots of changes can happen in the growing brain.

These changes are happening on top of the changes that happened to a severely abused infant prior to the age of one in abusive, neglectful – dot dot dot – early malevolent unsafe and insecure caregiver-infant lack-of-attachment experiences.

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So here I am this morning getting ready to go have my CT scan.  Of course my entire body-brain is on high anxiety alert, even if I THINK myself into feeling calm.  I am not calm.

So there I was applying my makeup when I realized (as I did many many times while I was going through chemotherapy treatment) that I had FORGOTTEN how to apply my makeup.

I forgot the sequence so that I had to CONSCIOUSLY and carefully recall the proper steps, the proper sequence, the proper ORDER, the proper pattern, rhythm, routine of accomplishing this ‘simple’ task.

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Enter changes to the development of the hippocampus through early severe trauma – along with changes to memory.  Google search “infant abuse brain development hippocampus memory” and you will get an idea of what I am talking about.

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So today for the first time I am noticing that along with my thinking about ‘association’ in terms of ‘dissociation’ I am also connecting these thoughts to ‘sequencing’ and ‘dissociation’.

It seems very likely to me that the lack of order, routine, established patterns – dot dot dot – that happen within a traumatic-chaotic early environment MUST create changes in how an infant-toddler’s brain is building itself to REMEMBER.

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Again, Google search “left brain sequencing” and then add into your search “left brain sequencing language” keeping in mind we are talking about developmental brain changes that happen when an infant-toddler is being raised in a malevolent environment.

According to developmental neuroscientist Dr. Allan Schore, after the right limbic-emotional-social brain develops during the first year of life, the left brain’s development kicks in.  Not supposed to be a big deal, is supposed to happen CORRECTLY under continued optimal early safe and secure attachment conditions.

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Now I feel like Mr. Monk (Yup, I’m in the throes of watching his entire series via Netflix streaming).  “Here’s what happened.”

Google search “left brain sequential language foxp2” and take a look at what appears on your screen.  Our human brain built its language-in-words abilities into our experience around 140,000 years ago BY USING THE SAME REGIONS of our left brain that we had already well developed by that time.  (Also interesting that some language experts connect the activation of our FOXP2 gene with earlier grooming behavior so that TALKING to people IS a more highly evolved experience of ‘group social grooming’.)

When I, for example, am experiencing ‘threat to ongoing life’ and my stress response system (certainly NOT the other end of this continuum, the calm connection safe and secure attachment arm) kicks in – like it is today – I experience DISORGANIZED and DISORIENTED attachment IN MY BODY-BRAIN that is directly connected to my dissociation.

Great big gaps appear in my verbal thinking AND in my motor action.  My grandson is building a boy-brain the right optimal way.  In the center of all of his experiences his SELF is forming.  I had no opportunity to recognize my SELF in the middle of my insanely abusive and traumatic early environment.  I had no opportunity to PRACTICE being a self having a life.

I plan to take piano (keyboard) lessons soon.  I anticipate that I will be learning how to play one step at a time – so that eventually everything will fit together in an ordered, organized way.

I expect that I will practice measures of a song, in order, and eventually I will learn entire songs.  I will not get triggered (I hope) into backtracking out of nowhere and repeating ‘past measures’ that have nothing IN CORRECT TIME to do with where the song is going!

I will not skip measures and leave big blank gaps in the order of the music.  I will not skip around, either, playing measures out-of-order!  Etc.  Etc.  Etc.

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What my experience of having cancer and going through chemotherapy treatment did to me was make me FORGET the sequencing that I had managed to build up all by myself growing up (and all the way into my adulthood).

I had ‘learned’ how to ‘pretend’ to be an organized, oriented SELF.

When chemotherapy and trauma of cancer affected my brain’s ability to REMEMBER these super-imposed patterns I had built, my ‘fake’ was exposed.

My grandson is BUILDING his body-brain-self correctly so – to use this image – he will be the BUILDING itself.  I didn’t do that.  I couldn’t.  I built a ‘secondary’ self like building a scaffolding around where my building-of-self was SUPPOSED to be.  Under stress, my scaffolded self fell apart and collapsed.

That, to me, is what dissociation is and does.  We can on a ‘secondary’ level put two and two together and build a ‘fake’ self that appears to function OK.  It is NOT the same thing as getting a SELF from the inside out like my grandson is doing.  He will never forget the sequencing patterns he experiences in his ordered, safe, secure earliest caregiving environment because they are building themselves into him at the same time they are BUILDING HIM.

Not so for those of us who suffered terrible early trauma and abuse.

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+JUST IN ‘MY’ STATE – ARIZONA WANTS TO CUT ALL FOR THE POOR AND NEEDY

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What does the picture look like in the state YOU live in?  Punish the poor for being poor?  Punish the sick for being sick?  Punish the children for being children?  I can’t write anything intelligent about anything I am presenting in this post except to say the suffering of the poor and sick is getting worse.  The talk of the day when I went into our little town (where our local and state sale’s tax is already 10%) today was this:

Arizona governor seeks to drop 280,000 from state Medicaid rolls

January 21, 2011 | Chris Anderson, Contributing Editor

The Arizona Legislature on Thursday authorized Gov. Jan Brewer to apply for a federal waiver with the Department of Health and Human Services that seeks to drop 280,000 people from the state’s Medicaid rolls.”

This 280,000 includes not only all single people (except pregnant women), but also includes all children in families at 50% of the federal poverty level.  All mental health services for any of these people would also be dropped along with ALL physician care and medications, leaving people with only one option – going to hospital emergency rooms where they cannot be turned away.

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Second patient removed from Arizona transplant list dies

January 06, 2011 | Chris Anderson, Contributing Editor

An Arizona patient awaiting a liver transplant who was removed from the waiting list as a result of state Medicaid budget cuts has died – the second such person to die since the cuts were announced on Oct. 1, 2010.”

State legislators and Governor Jan Brewer have faced criticism for the policy, which cut funding for certain pancreas, lung, bone marrow, heart and liver transplants for adults on Medicaid. The cuts amount to roughly $4 million in savings for the program.”

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So, how does this happen?  Top 100 hospitals thrive even in economic downturn

Thomson Reuters has released its annual study identifying the 100 top U.S. hospitals based on overall organizational performance. The study reveals that even in tough economic times, top hospitals show a profit while raising the bar on patient care.”

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I found information about the Arizona state budget which includes a pitiful picture of our state’s financial woes that are leading to devastating cutbacks in nearly every program that serves the needs of poverty-stricken families and individuals.

In a nutshell:  Arizona total debt $21,902,499,280 — current budget deficit $1.2b, faced the largest budget shortfall as a % of their total spending of any state in US in early 2009. ‘Redirections’ eliminate the KidsCare program (health insurance for children in poverty); reduce mental health services; eliminate cash assistance for 10,000 families; place a hard cap on day care assistance, eliminate services for more than 10,000 children of low-income working parents

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Arizona’s Mental Health Budget Crunch

January 13, 2011

To fill a $1 billion hole in its 2011 budget, Arizona slashed this year’s budget for mental health services by $36 million — a 37 percent cut. As a result, advocates say 3,800 people who do not qualify for Medicaid are at risk of losing services such as counseling and employment preparation. In addition, more than 12,000 adults and 2,000 children will no longer receive the name-brand medications they take to keep their illnesses in check. Other services such as supportive housing and transportation to doctor’s appointments also will be eliminated.”

And, if our governor has her way, Medicaid in Arizona will disappear.

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Arizona budget: Mentally ill may lose health benefits

January 15, 2011

Gov. Jan Brewer’s plan to roll back state Medicaid coverage would leave thousands of Arizona‘s most mentally fragile without health care.

An estimated 5,200 people diagnosed with a serious mental illness and thousands more who qualify for other behavioral-health services would be among 280,000 childless adults losing health-care coverage under the governor’s plan.

To mitigate the hit on the seriously mentally ill, Brewer wants to spend $10.3 million to prevent gaps in their psychiatric medication. They would lose coverage for all other medical care, including prescription drugs for physical ailments, as well as case management, transportation and housing they receive through the state’s behavioral-health-care program.”

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And then I found this site —  naccrra – National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies — and post some of the information they present here for you to take a look at.  They state:

NACCRRA, the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies, is our nation’s leading voice for child care. We work with more than 700 state and local Child Care Resource and Referral agencies nationwide. These agencies help ensure that families in 99 percent of all populated ZIP codes in the United States have access to high-quality, affordable child care. To achieve our mission, we lead projects that increase the quality and availability of child care professionals, undertake research, and advocate child care policies that positively impact the lives of children and families.”

How in today’s economic climate is it possible to even begin to “ensure that families in 99 percent of all populated ZIP codes” in our nation “have access to high-quality, affordable child care?”  Arizona, for one, is heading directly in the opposite direction!

About NACCRRA

Since 1987, NACCRRA has been working to improve the system of early learning for children by:

  1. Providing training, resources, and best practices standards to local and state CCR&Rs that support high quality, accountable services
  2. Promoting national policies and partnerships that facilitate universal access to high quality child care
  3. Collecting, analyzing, and reporting current child care data and research, including childcare supply and demand trends and
  4. Offering child care and parenting information and resources to families and connecting families to local CCR&R services

Our programs and services

  1. Training and technical assistance to local and state child care resource and referral programs
  2. Quality Assurance Program, a national, voluntary certification system for CCR&Rs
  3. Child Care Aware®, a national toll-free information line and Web site for families available in English and Spanish
  4. Child care policy analysis and advocacy, including an Annual Policy Symposium and Day on the Hill event in Washington, DC

Our products and resources

  1. Early Childhood Focus, a Web site featuring daily news clippings about child care and child welfare issues around the country
  2. Field studies and trends reports
  3. NACCRRAware, an Internet-based child care referral and reporting software program that manages family, child care program, and community data

Leaving Children to Chance: NACCRRA’s Ranking of State Standards and Oversight of Small Family Child Care Homes: 2010 Update

“NACCRRA assessed state policies for small family child care homes, where up to six children are cared for in the home of the provider for compensation. The maximum number of points a state could receive is 140. Seventeen states scored a zero. Of the states that scored points, the average score was 63, which equates to 45 percent – a failing grade in any classroom. Family child care in the United States is characterized by weak state inspection standards, incomplete background checks, weak minimum education requirement for providers, weak training requirements, weak early learning standards and weak basic health and safety standards.”

The Current Economy’s Impact on Child Care

“Over 11 million children under age 5 spend a portion of their day, every week, in the care of someone other than their mother. The average young child of a working mom spends about 36 hours a week in such care. About one-quarter of these children are in multiple child care arrangements strung together by their parents. The quality of care varies greatly and many working families struggle with the cost of care. With the current economic crisis, quality child care settings are even more important to the healthy development of children. In too many cases involving low income families, child care is the only place that children may receive a nutritious meal and snack, given that food is often one of the first places parents sacrifice as their family budget becomes tighter.

“The most recent data shows that over 14.5 million Americans are out of work. Another 9 million are working part-time because they cannot find full-time work. About 7 million jobs have been lost since the recession began in December 2007. As parents lose employment, as their hours are cutback, they are taking their children out of organized child care and making due with whatever arrangement they can find (hoping it’s safe, hoping it meets health and safety standards, hoping the arrangement is temporary until times are better).

“Quality child care is the linchpin between working families and safe children. With the current economy, parents are forced to make many difficult decisions about the care of their children. Newspaper stories throughout the country describe parents pulling their children from child care and at very young ages leaving children home alone. In one case of a mall worker, the mother’s hours were reduced, she pulled her daughter from child care and left her in the car where she checked on her every hour. Locking the car doors with an unattended child inside is not safe child care.”

The Impact of the Recession on Child Care:
In the spring of 2009, NACCRRA conducted a survey of its Child Care Resource & Referral (CCR&R) agencies with regard to the impact of the nation’s recession on child care.

To read a brief summary of the survey findings, click here.
To read a copy of NACCRRA’s press release on the survey results, click here.

Effect of State Budget Cuts on Kids:
In January 2010, NACCRRA released a report with Every Child Matters and Voices for America’s Children, “State Budget Cuts: America’s Kids Pay the Price”. To read a copy of the report, click here.

“Congress passed stimulus legislation in February [2010], referred to as the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (ARRA). The measure included $2 billion for the Child Care and Development Block Grant (CCDBG). For more information on ARRA and stimulus funding to be sent to the states this year, click here. Child care is critical – not just for families so that parents can work but also for children, particularly at a time where they need more continuity and stability in their lives. The following table lists the most recent newspaper stories throughout the country about the impact of the economy on child care.”

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+WHY WE CAN’T END INFANT-CHILD MALTREATMENT

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If we declared this war, fought this war, and won this war – who do you think would be the loser?  I am talking about a war that desperately needs to be started to end all possible malevolent treatment against infants, toddlers, children and teens.  Now, to begin in a realistic fashion I would say that AT LEAST we need to fight this war on behalf of all of our nation’s offspring 0 – 7.

Still too ambitious?  Well, then let’s start and fight and win this war to end all possible maltreatment against our nation’s offspring 0 – 3.  That would be the most critical physiological window for critical stages of development, anyway.  The loser would be the same.

If we guaranteed the basic human rights of infants from conception to age three, that would mean ALL of them would be given optimal chances for the best physiological growth and development possible BECAUSE we would have to guarantee all these little people were loved and responded to appropriately by their earliest caregivers.  That would mean – Yup!  You’ve got it! – safe and secure attachment relationships would build the best body-nervous system-brain-immune system possible.

Who would the biggest losers be?  Considering that Center for Disease Control research is clearly establishing a powerful and undeniable link between infant-childhood malevolent treatment (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and life long troubles of every kind including so-called mental illness and severe adult diseases, eliminating malevolent treatment even 0 – 3 would drop the number of lifelong Trauma Altered Developmental difficulties probably 85%.

Drop health care costs?  Dropping all ‘mental’ and physical disease by radical percentages would affect the well-being of every adult survivor of BENEVOLENT and BENIGN infant-childhoods TO THE POSITIVE!

Who would lose the most if we started a national war against malevolent treatment of little ones 0-3 and won?  Take a look:

25 Shocking Facts About the Pharmaceutical Industry

Published Thursday the 27th of March, 2008 on the website NOEDB – Nursing Online Education DatabaseReprinted here for enlightened education only!

Researching and snagging an adequate, wallet-friendly health care plan is tough these days, despite its high-profile presence in political debates. A large part of the controversy over expensive health costs stems from criticism of high-priced medications marketed by powerful pharmaceutical companies. From Medicare fraud to CEOs worth billions of dollars, big drug companies are accused of putting profits above patients, spinning false PR campaigns and more. We’ve uncovered 25 of the most shocking facts about the pharmaceutical industry in this list.

  1. The price of drugs is increasing faster than anything else a patient pays for: Marcia Angell writes in her book The Truth About Drug Companies that “drugs are the fastest-growing part of the health care bill which itself is rising at an alarming rate.” Dr. Angell argues that patients are spending more on drugs simply because they are being prescribed more drugs than ever before and that “those drugs are more likely to be expensive new ones instead of older, cheaper ones, and that the prices of the most heavily prescribed drugs are routinely jacked up, sometimes several times a year.”
  2. Your health care provider may have an ulterior motive behind your prescription: In 2007, the St. Petersburg Times reported that drug reps often give gifts to convince medical professionals to prescribe the medications that they represent. Dr. James P. Orlowski tries to teach his students that interaction with drug reps is not in the best interests of patients. Even though many doctors may believe solicitation from drug reps is unethical or at the very least impractical, gifts like free meals, pens, posters, books, and free samples are offered to physicians in an effort to influence their prescription practices.
  3. Pharmaceutical companies spend more on marketing than research: According to ScienceDaily, a “new study by two York University researchers estimates the U.S. pharmaceutical industry spends almost twice as much on promotion as it does on research and development.” Despite pharmaceutical companies’ claims that Americans pay such high prices for prescription medications because they’re really paying for research and development costs, the industry spent $33.5 billion on promotion costs in 2004. The study also “supports the position that the U.S. pharmaceutical industry is marketing-driven and challenges the perception of a research-driven, life-saving, pharmaceutical industry” that values the lives of its patients, rather than their spending habits.
  4. Brand name meds often have a 1,000% mark-up price: Many Americans are aware that brand name prescriptions cost more than generic meds, and that part of the reason for the higher prices is because they’ve been hiked up by the pharmaceutical companies themselves and aren’t necessarily a direct result of expensive new ingredients. This study, however, reveals that some meds can have a mark-up of 1,000%. For example, according to the study, consumers pay approximately $215 for 100 tablets of the allergy medicine Claritin, while the cost of the generic active ingredient in Claritin only costs 71 cents.
  5. Popular meds are referred to as “blockbuster” drugs: The new presence of blockbuster drugs is a testament to how the pharmaceutical company’s marketing tactics and price hikes are getting out of control. According to TheAtlantic.com, “the industry usually considers a drug to be a blockbuster if it reaches a billion dollars a year in sales.” The drug Prilosec, for example, was marketed as a miracle pill that allowed people to “eat the burritos and curries that their gastrointestinal systems had placed off-limits.” Prilosec is the first drug to make the industry $5 billion in one year, and the next year, in 2000, Prilosec reached $6 billion. Consumers called it “purple Jesus,” making it easy for the drug company to capitalize on patients addict-like behavior.
  6. Vioxx advertising reaches new heights: To give consumers more perspective on how prescription drug advertising has reached new heights, the AARP Bulletin reports that pharmaceutical giant “Merck spent more advertising Vioxx, according to NIHCM, than the $125 million spent promoting Pepsi or the $146 million spent on Budweiser beer ads. It even came close to the $169 million spent promoting GM’s Saturn, the nation’s most advertised car.” While “drug prices are rising at more than twice the rate of inflation,” industry analysts and insiders debate over whether or not rising prices is the fault of the pharmaceutical company or the consumers.
  7. Drug reps often have no medical or science education: Is it safe for physicians to assume that the professionals they meet with to discuss new medications and prescription recommendations for their patients actually have backgrounds in medicine or science? According to ABC News, it’s not. A former drug rep for the pharmaceutical company Eli Lily, Shahram Ahari testified before Congress, saying that “pharmaceutical companies hire former cheerleaders and ex-models to wine and dine doctors, exaggerate the drug’s benefits and underplay their side-effects.” He also explained that he was taught “how to exceed spending limits for important clients…[by] using friendships and personal gifts” and to “exploit sexual tension.”
  8. Pharmaceutical companies are helping, hurting the AIDS epidemics: Pharmaceutical companies have been feeling the pressure from the UN as well as governments and activists from underdeveloped countries to supply tests and medicine for AIDS patients at reduced prices. According to the Center for International Development at Harvard University, the pharmaceutical company Merck & Co. agreed to slash prices on its two AIDS drugs in Brazil” in 2001, but supposedly “in part to stop that country from importing a generic version.” Unpatented AIDS drugs are circulating in countries like South Africa, which makes pharmaceutical companies nervous because “patents are the basis for high drug prices,” and the presence of generic drugs “weakens the drug companies’ efforts to maintain a worldwide environment that respects intellectual property.” The debate surrounding intellectual property and the private sector vs. patient rights and affordable health care is magnified on a much larger, more global scale in this situation.
  9. Doctors can choose to reveal or keep private their prescription records: Drug reps often research doctors’ prescription records before meeting with them and attempting to convince them to recommend certain drugs. By understanding a physician’s history with a given drug, the drug rep is more likely to influence caregivers and sell more medicines. The New York Times reports, however, that not all doctors are falling prey to these background checks. In 2006, the American Medical Association decided to give doctors a choice to keep their “records off limits to drug sales representatives” and make prescription recommendations based on unbiased judgment.
  10. Good PR trumps patient care: When Merck & Co. found out that one of their products, Vioxx, can increase the risk of heart attacks in its patients, it allegedly “played down” the evidence. Cleveland Clinic cardiologist Dr. Eric Topol accused Merck of “scientific misconduct,” and two days later, Dr. Topol was kicked off the board of governors at the Cleveland Clinic.
  11. Toxins found in drugs exported from China: A top story in the spring of 2007 centered around Zheng Xiaoyu, a Chinese drug czar who was sentenced to death “after admitting that he took bribes while running the country’s Food & Drug Administration between 1998 and 2005,” when he served as commissioner. According to The New York Times, “every year, thousands of people [in China] are sickened or killed because of rampant counterfeiting and tainted food and drugs.”
  12. Abbott Laboratories charged Medi-Cal nearly $10 for saline solution : This list has already mentioned some of the extreme mark-ups for prescription medications, but Abbott Laboratories’ fraudulent behavior towards California‘s state Medicaid program actually ended up in court. The state attorney general “sued 39 drug companies…accusing them of bilking the state of hundreds of millions of dollars by overcharging for medicines,” reports The New York Times. An example of the outrageous mark-ups include the $9.73 price tag for saline solution, which cost other health care providers 95 cents.
  13. Guilty of Medicare fraud: Pharmaceutical companies are also being tried in federal courts as an answer to their exploitation of Medicare. AstraZeneca Inc. had to pay $280 million in civil penalties and $63 million in criminal penalties to the federal government after the company “paid kickbacks to health care providers and coached them to cheat Medicare to promote a prostate cancer drug.”
  14. Some generic brands are becoming more popular: Those wanting to really “stick it” to the big man and who hope to see pharmaceutical companies stumble as the result of more competition and fewer consumers will enjoy this 2007 report from The New York Times, which finds that “annual inflation in drug costs is at the lowest rate in the three decades since the Labor Department began using its current method of tracking prescription prices.” Patients are starting to use generic medications and buy prescriptions from discount stores like Wal-Mart to alleviate the financial burden of brand name drugs.
  15. Combined wealth of top 5 pharmaceutical companies outweighs GNP of sub-Saharan Africa.: Corporate Watch shows the public just how much wealth big pharmaceutical companies have, even on a global scale. Their report references The Guardian, which found that “the combined worth of the world’s top five drug companies is twice the combined GNP of all sub-Saharan Africa and their influence on the rules of world trade is many times stronger because they can bring their wealth to bear directly on the levers of western power.”
  16. Dr. Robert Jarvik isn’t a licensed doctor: Many Americans watched as Dr. Robert Jarvik, inventor of the artificial heart, gently coaxed them to take the Pfizer-marketed drug Lipitor in order to lower their cholesterol. The ads were eventually pulled, however, when “it turn[ed] out Jarvik isn’t a licensed heart doctor.” U.S. Representative John Dingell remarked, “It seems that Pfizer’s No. 1 priority is to sell lots of Lipitor, by whatever means necessary, including misleading the American people.”
  17. Ernesto Bertarelli makes Forbes’ billionaires list: Just as Americans are questioning the record profits and salaries of booming oil companies when they’re forced to accept rising prices at the pump, people may wonder about Ernesto Bertarelli’s billionaire status. Bertarelli is the CEO of the pharmaceutical company Serono, and Forbes reports that his net worth in 2002 reached $8.4 billion. That was enough to place him as the 31st richest person in the world.
  18. Pfizer is fifth-best wealth creator: Corporate Watch reports that Fortune named pharmaceutical giant Pfizer as the “fifth-best wealth-creator” in America, and Corporate Watch considers it the “largest and richest pharmaceutical enterprise in the world.”
  19. Americans pay more for prescription meds than anyone else in the world: The Media Matters website analyzes a 60 Minutes interview between correspondent Bob Simon and then Surgeon General Richard H. Carmona. During the segment, Carmona maintains that Americans pay more for brand name prescriptions than anyone else in the world because of the hefty price associated with “the research and development of drugs.” See point number 3 on this list, which points out that drug companies pay more on advertising and marketing than they do on research and development.
  20. Pharmaceutical advertisements actually work: The public wag their fingers at pharmaceutical companies’ advertising budgets only if they admit that sometimes, those commercials actually work. The Miami Herald points out that while “more than four in ten [Americans] have an unfavorable view” of pharmaceutical companies, “prescription-drug advertising has driven a third of Americans to talk to a medical professional about specific drugs, and many of these people got a prescription from their health care provider as a result.”
  21. Americans spent $200 billion on prescription drugs in 2002: Marcia Angell reveals in her book The Truth About the Drug Companies that Americans spent $200 billion on prescription drugs in 2002. That’s the amount medical expertsestimated it will cost to rebuild New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, and the amount China is pouring into an energy renewal program.
  22. Academics help pharmaceutical companies conduct research: A new trend in the R&D sector of the pharmaceutical industry features research-based partnerships between academic centers and drug companies. Marcia Angell explains the collaboration by writing that these companies “now ring the major academic research institutions and often carry out the initial phases of drug development, hoping for lucrative deals with big drug companies that can market the new drugs. Usually both academic researchers and their institutions own equity in the biotechnology companies they are involved with,” and everyone can “cash in on the public investment in research.” As academic centers play a more significant role in the success of the drug companies, they are more likely to take on the “entrepreneur” spirit and make profits from patents, royalties and stocks, which can mark up the prices for everyday consumers.
  23. “New” Drugs aren’t really new: When a new drug hits the market, is it really new? Euractiv.com reports on a recent study which found “that two-thirds of the prescription drugs approved by the Food and Drug Administration between 1989 and 2000 were identical to existing drugs or modified versions of them. Only about one-third of the drugs approved by the FDA during the time period were based on new “molecular entities” that treat diseases in novel ways.” Many of these newer drugs cost more because the drug companies have to extend their patents, which can “enable a brand company to delay generic competitors and maintain a high price for an aging product.”
  24. Some drug companies are taking advantage of underdeveloped countries to perform clinical trials: Wired.com reports that India is becoming a more attractive place for drug companies to run clinical trials and test out new drugs. The article explains, “more and more drug companies are conducting clinical trials in developing countries where government oversight is more lax and research can be done for a fraction of the cost.” Controversy is starting to build over the trend, however, as one expert explains. Sean Philpott, managing editor of The American Journal of Bioethics, reveals to Wired.com that such practices may be unfair, as “individuals who participate in Indian clinical trials usually won’t be educated. Offering $100 [as payment for their participation] may be undue enticement; they may not even realize that they are being coerced.”
  25. Pharmaceutical Companies donated millions to Hurricane Katrina relief programs: Americans are used to bashing pharmaceutical companies, just as they criticize health insurance companies, rising gas prices and monopolies. It may come as a shock, then, to discover the philanthropic efforts undertaken by big drug companies. Medical News Today writes that companies like Abbott, Eli Lilly, Merck, Pfizer and others have donated millions of dollars in cash and supplies to the Hurricane Katrina relief efforts.

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Hum….  I wonder how much cashola they’d give to fight this war to end malevolent treatment against the future consumers of their products — who if course might be too happy, calm and healthy to NEED those drugs once the war was won!

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+MUNCH’S ‘THE SCREAM’

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Our screams of pain are not silent!  When Edward Munch gave vision in 1893 to The Scream it seems to me that he recognized a close relative of what I wrote about in my last post, +OUR PAIN: OUTSIDE THE RANGE OF EMPATHY.  He painted the abyss, as well.  Did Munch personally feel pain-beyond-measure?  If he did or if he didn’t, certainly his gift of artistic expression captured in this image a visual presentation of what might well be the bridge across which nobody but those who know this scream can travel.

It seems very possible to me that only those of us who were forced to grow and develop our trauma-altered body-brain in the midst of malevolent early LACK OF mothering-caregiving at the same time we were abused-past-imagining actually NOT ONLY have the physiological ability to feel THIS PAIN — but also that ONLY those who have THIS PAIN built into us CAN feel it.

Who, then, can cross ‘our bridge’ to reach us?

The Scream - Edward Munch (1893)

 

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+OUR PAIN: OUTSIDE THE RANGE OF EMPATHY

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Knowing of the enduring and pervasive sadness I live with every single instant I am alive, and then receiving a comment today from someone who I believe knows this exact same sadness (see link immediately below), and as I think about my ‘blurred boundaries’ posts, I am beginning to wonder if there is a sadness-beyond-measure that lies OUTSIDE the range of ability FOR ANYONE ELSE TO FEEL IT except for those of us who were built in and by this sadness.

If this is true, then our experience of sadness-beyond-measure is also a sadness that lies outside the range of ANYBODY’S empathic abilities other than the abilities that those of us who KNOW it have to understand the sadness within each other.

If this is true, then I would say that having experienced the kind of malevolent trauma PRIMARILY within our earliest mother-caregiver attachment-deprived environment that it takes to CREATE a body that feels this amount of PAIN, sorrow, grief, suffering, sadness – makes those of us who FEEL this sadness-beyond-measure humanity’s truest representatives of the worst kinds of environments possible.  (short of infant death).

Our sadness then represents the LOUDEST POSSIBLE cry-from-within that something was terribly wrong without measure.  Because this trauma built our body-brain in response to it and interaction with it – we REMAIN the living body that is the SCREAMING testament to WHAT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF FOR OUR SPECIE’S SURVIVAL.

That our scream may appear ‘off the radar’ or happen in a pitch that nobody else but each other can hear does NOT mean our screams are silent!  They are not, and that pain and that scream devours us alive.  Ours is the most potent scream for help, assistance, protection – that was NEVER heard when we were tiny, either.

I believe we live in a different kind of body and in a different kind of world that evidently NOBODY else but those of us who suffer from this ‘special degree of pain’ can begin to imagine.

Where the extensions of EMPATHY from the outside cannot go so that the extent of our pain and suffering could begin to be comprehended – COMPASSION CAN!  Caring can!  Care-giving can!

Ours is a pain that NOBODY ‘should’ EVER feel.  Because there are those of us who DO FEEL it, our pain is a direct signal to other members of our species that there is a CRISIS.  Something is terribly terribly wrong with the condition of the OVERALL environment.  Somebody needs to notice what our pain is saying!  Somebody needs to pay attention and everybody needs to FIX THE PROBLEM!

Please read today’s comments to this post:

+THE MOST IMPORTANT LETTER I’VE EVER WRITTEN – WHEN I DISOWNED MY MOTHER

NEXT POST: +MUNCH’S ‘THE SCREAM’

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+INSECURE ATTACHMENT = DISORDERED EMPATHY

+DISORDERED EMPATHY = BLURRED BOUNDARIES = TRAUMA DRAMA = COMBINED CRIES FOR HELP

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+MORE LINKS ON TEARS, CRYING AND WEEPING

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Why We Evolved to Cry

By JOHN TIERNEY

What’s the use of crying when you’re sad? Other animals shed tears, but humans may be unique in shedding tears of grief, and Robert Provine says that he knows why: to send a signal.

“Emotional tears are a breakthrough in the evolution of humans as a social species,” says Dr. Provine, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Writing in Evolutionary Psychology (pdf), he reports the first experimental demonstration of what he calls the “tear effect.” The subjects in the experiment were asked to rate the sadness of photographs of people crying, but in some of the photos the tears were digitally removed. (The experiment used actual photographs of people, not the cartoon images shown above.) When the tears were removed, the people were rated less sad, and their faces were often mistakenly interpreted as expressions of awe, puzzlement or concern. Dr. Provine concludes:

Emotional tears resolve ambiguity and add meaning to the neuromuscular instrument of facial expression, what we term the tear effect. Tears are not a benign secretory correlate of sadness or other emotional state. Emotional tears may be exclusively human and, unlike associated vocal crying, do not develop until a few months after birth. The emergence of emotional tearing during evolution and development is a significant but neglected advance in human social behavior that taps an already established secretory process involving the eye, a primary target of visual attention.

Dr. Provine says that so little is known about why adults cry that there are lots more questions to answer. “Do tears, for example, make a person appear more needy, helpless, frustrated, or powerless, as well as sadder?” he asks. “Do tears amplify a perceived emotional expression, add a unique message, or contribute a subtle nuance interpreted as sincerity or wistfulness?”

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Crying, Sex, and John Boehner: Not So Fast

Why the claim that women’s tears signal, ‘not tonight, dear,’ is probably wrong.

[but not by much!]

The scientists’ conclusion: “Women’s emotional tears contain a chemosignal that reduces sexual arousal in men” even though the men “did not see the women cry” or know that they were sniffing tears. Added Sobel, “This study reinforces the idea that human chemical signals—even ones we’re not conscious of—affect the behavior of others.”

The study is, predictably, getting a lot of media attention (WOMEN’S TEARS SAY, ‘NOT TONIGHT, DEAR’), but experts on tears and crying aren’t so sure the findings mean what the Weizmann scientists say they do. “I like their study very much, and I think their results are fascinating, but I have my doubts about their interpretation,” says Vingerhoets. “I suspect the sexual effect is just a side effect: testosterone, which was reduced when men sniffed the women’s tears, isn’t only about sex: it’s also about aggression. And that fits better with our current thinking about tears.”

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February 9, 2010

The benefits of crying

Dr. Oren Hasson, a professor at Tel Aviv University, recently conducted a study in which he studied different types of crying and the benefits of crying.  He speculated that the evolutionary advantage of crying comes from crying with your peers.  When you cry, you show vulnerability because your vision is blurred.  This allows someone who cares about you to take care of you while you are in a weakened state. According to Hasson, this is beneficial to both the caretaker and receiver because it creates a stronger relationship bond.  This means that a positive comes out of the negative situation which caused the crying in the first place.”

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Why Adults Cry So Easily in Animated Kids Movies – TIME Healthland

Oct 11, 2010 Why Adults Cry So Easily in Animated Kids Movies. By Belinda Luscombe Monday, The most interesting is that animated movies can be more affecting than movies with real people in them. Editors’ Picks. Research

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For crying out loud – Times Union

Jul 2, 2010 The most extensive research into this particular aspect of human behavior to More elucidating studies — from a parent’s perspective, was fine to reach for the tissues during moving moments in movies. And, it seems, adults cry for pretty much the same reason babies do: we want attention.

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Emotional Intelligence Gets Better With Age

A recent study conducted by the University of California, Berkeley (in conjunction with Arizona State University,) concludes that emotional intelligence peaks as we enter our 60s.

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see also:

+A START ON THE TOPIC OF TEARS, CRYING, WEEPING, THE ANS AND ATTACHMENT….

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+TO BE ‘WALKED RIGHT THROUGH’ – WHAT MY BODY REMEMBERS ABOUT MY NONEXISTANT SELF

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I suspect that knowledge of the threat of death, even if existing only on a cellular level within our DNA, must accompany a newborn infant into this world.  Why else would a person’s life force naturally accomplish all that is possible to remain alive?  Is safe and secure attachment to caregivers designed to somehow banish this awareness of the threat of death?  Is this part of the mechanics of change that severe infant abuse/trauma (especially) maltreated survivors never lose when we never had those attachments?

When the caregivers are NOT the source of protection but are rather the transmitters of harm and great violence, what THEN happens to this awareness of the threat of death?

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It seems almost strange to me that as I wait this morning for the HUD housing inspector to park in my yard this afternoon it is the awareness of the continuity throughout my entire life since my birthing of this awareness of the threat of death that is being fed into my thinking directly from the way my body is feeling right now.

As I pay attention I understand that ‘being walked right through’ is a big part of what I am sensing in my body connected to its memory.  Yes, this inspector will ‘walk right through’ this entire personal, sacred, precious space of my home that is so much a part of ME right now.

The ‘being walked right through’ feels both extremely threatening to me right now and extremely familiar.  It brings to mind my memory of being 21, walking around the northern town I lived in alone late at night in a snowstorm as I stood with my bare hands out in front of me, looked at my palms and heard a ‘voice’ say to me from within:  “I am a wraith.”

At that time I didn’t even ‘logically’ know what the word wraith meant.  Searching online I find that it is used mostly this way:

1 –an apparition of a living person supposed to portend his or her death.

2 — a visible spirit.

The origins of the word appear to be unclear though either Scottish or Celtic origins are suspected.  Most of my genetic heritage is linked to these cultures.

For all the thousands of physical attacks I endured during the 18 years of my childhood, never – not one single time – did I experience of a sense that I as a person-self existed in the body that was being pummeled.  I didn’t have that sense because I DIDN’T exist.  And it wasn’t until that instant in that snowstorm that the first vague and distant clue arrived that I, in fact, did exist.

Until that instant there had never been a connection for me between my BODY and a ME-SELF capable of realizing anything about my own existence.

The two pieces of information had simply never built themselves into the associational networks in my brain.  For this connection between body and awareness of self to come to me, and then for a connection to be made between the self as being connected to that body to happen SO LATE in my life would be nearly unbelievable to me if I didn’t know my own life story.

MY SELF-self HAD always been ‘walked right through’.  My self, as existing not connected to my body, did not receive the physical blows that would have let it know it existed in time and space.  My body obviously knew this information.  It had suffered greatly.

My invisible self, my wraith self – contrary to definition in the dictionary – appeared for the first time when I was 21 not because I was on the verge of DYING but because I was on the verge of COMING ALIVE.

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Today I struggle with staying in and with my body as I go through this distress-provoking experience related to my well-being.  My body, with its in-built ancient DNA instinctual wisdom DID endure, DID persevere.  But this SELF I am with my awareness of my SELF existence remains only tenuously connected.  The two can very easily become disassociated rather than associated with one another.

My SELF does not want to become nonexistent.  I am very aware that in my case, given my unique history, that the fight to self-preserve happened IN MY BODY, but not in any way with this SELF I work to identify with today.

It is this self, who recognized herself for the first time when I was 21 in those words, “I am a wraith,” who knows what it was like to have no existence so that it could be ‘walked right through’ for my first 18 long years of torture.

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This is not an easy day……

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+BLOGGING AND THINKING WITH A TRAUMA-CHANGED BRAIN

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I live in and with an over-sensitized, over-sensitive, anxiety-trauma-built body.  Among the changes that happened in my physiological development is that ALL of me was changed in adaptation to severe abuse and violent trauma from the moment I was born and during the following 18 years I could not escape my mother.  This includes how my brain was structured from the beginning of life so that NOW it operates differently from ‘ordinary’.

These facts of course affect not only my thinking, but my writing as well.  I FORCE myself to think in words, which is an essential process that I do not obscure in my writing.

Although I am not ‘autistic’ my patterns of thinking can be as disconcerting to follow verbally as an autistic person’s can be.  I do not – because I really cannot – attempt to obscure from my writing how my brain (hence, I) move forward in time within the realm of words.

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Blogging has comfortingly allowed me to write in loops and circles.  What my body knows (as with everyone’s) provides information through my right brain that must then be handed over to my left brain for linear-logical-verbal exposure to consciousness.  In order for this process to happen, all this back-and-forth has to involve the ‘bridge’ between my two brain hemispheres – my corpus callosum.  As is well known and is much written about today, the development of both brains and the bridge between them is greatly affected by severe abuse, neglect, trauma, violence and malevolent treatment during the brain’s most critical early stages of growth.

I suffer from these consequences.  But I am determined and courageous.  It is my intent to make the most good possible come out of my disastrous early beginnings, and as is my prayer every day of my life, to at least offer something that might help someone else.

When I began this blog in April of 2009 I could not go back and reread or edit in any way anything that I wrote.  Whatever state I was in when I wrote was not one I could return to even in the immediate future.  I had no tolerance for my own words as if I was deadly allergic to them.  What I wrote about had been deadly toxic to me – and remained so.

I have made SOME progress, although most of the time I have to ‘look the other way’ as the words come out.  Having entirely lacked any concept of ‘being a self’ or of ‘having a self’ for the first 18 years of my life has left me with that all too familiar dissociational condition of being ‘depersonalized’ so that once a single instant of time has passed by in my life it becomes the ‘dereal’ past – not directly connected to me in any way unless I consciously, logically FORCE an awareness of a connection.

But I do not FEEL connected to myself as a ‘past entity’ or as a ‘future entity’.  All perception of time was built into my body-brain in the midst of ongoing severe trauma, and I now believe that if there is NEVER a sense of safety or security (as expressed in human attachment relationships), when there is no safe and secure time to REST between experiences of trauma, the acute trauma stage with its altered sense of time becomes permanent.

This also affects me as I think in written words.  I am ‘mind blind’ to words that are going to follow one another.  I have to, again, ‘look the other way’ rather than anticipate where my thoughts are going.  I believe when Dr. Daniel Siegel speaks of ‘Mind Sight’ he is referring to consequences such as I suffer from.  In my courage and determination I do not let these alterations stop me.

++

Sometimes my posts must seem redundant to this blog’s faithful readers.  Every post I write has to have enough inner integrity that it can be found through someone’s future online search, read, and understood in context.  This is an example of this process in motion over time:

Posted yesterday in comment to a post:  +A LONG, THOUGHTFUL LOOK AT VERBAL ABUSE AS MALIGNANT TEASING

Word Count: 5876

I googled “teasing as verbal abuse” because i wanted to read something exactly like this.”

This post is a long one.  Yet somehow within its structure of words it held something of helpful meaning to this reader – and I am glad it did!

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Because of my brain being built in the midst of severe trauma my emotional right limbic brain and the body that feeds it information IS overly sensitive-sensitized.  I will struggle with ‘failure’ on a primal level within me for the rest of my life, so when a comment comes in like this one, I struggle directly with the ‘rejection’ that it triggered:

Posted yesterday in a comment to post:   +INSECURE INFANT ATTACHMENT, DAY CARE AND EMOTIONAL NEGLECT

Word Count: 1234

I’ve been skimming your recent posts (sorry, they’re a little long)

And this post was a relatively short one.  Of course I welcome all comments.  My discomfort has nothing to do with the words of the commenter – nearly everything about being alive in my body is a trauma trigger to me, so pervasive was the malevolent trauma that built me!

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Now, THIS post is a very long one and I thought about perhaps figuring out a way to impose some structure on it at the time it was posted.  And yet dividing one of my thought stream writing processes into segments, like chapters, doesn’t work well in this blog’s format.  Although it easily contains enough words for 4-5 posts, it needs to remain a ‘stand alone’ piece for someone to discover sometime in the future as a ‘whole thing’ with its context intact.

January 16, 2011 post:  +TO BE OR NOT TO BE — HUMAN OR OBJECT: EARLY ATTACHMENT PATTERNS DECIDE AS THEY BUILD OUR ANS

Word count: 4095

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Computerized reading is nicely designed to allow for scanning and skimming.  Any post can also be read in parts over time – put down and picked up again like a book.

Somehow, to me, the nature of my writing-thinking process is integral to the purpose of this blog.  Nothing comes easily.  Nothing comes without effort.  When a severe infant-child abuse survivor attempts to accomplish a lifespan in a body-brain that was altered and changed in its development by trauma, nothing about our life happens in a simple straightforward way.  This can be especially true with our patterns of processing words that match our experience.

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NOTE:  It is always best to come directly to the blog post as it exists in real time because I DO now often go back after the post is published and make changes — exactly as I am at this moment.

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+THE ABSENCE OF SAFE AND SECURE ATTACHMENT AND THE NEED TO SELF-PRESERVE

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This will not be an easy day for me, nor did the event I anticipate happening today let me have much sleep last night.  Because I try as hard as I can to learn something useful out of every difficulty I encounter, the experience I am having right now must have a pearl at the center of it somewhere.

Being quite low income (fixed disability) I put my name on the local HUD Section 8 Rental Assistance program waiting list over three years ago.  My name came up.  Fortunately my kind, supportive, caring, helpful, loving and very clear-thinking daughter was willing to take care of the first level of paperwork when she came down to visit earlier this month.  This afternoon the housing inspector comes over to take a look around.

There is no way that I can escape the anxiety this entire scenario creates for me.  And this level of anxiety, because it threatens the entire safety and security of my life, disorganizes and disorients me.  In short, it hurts.

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Older houses in this border region were never built by rich people.  They don’t match anyone’s ‘building code’.  In the four plus years I’ve been renting this one I, and my loving brother when he comes to visit, have made every improvement that my limited budget could afford.

I have been cleaning and painting – and rearranging – and waiting – and stressing in my own unique distressed way for weeks.  Knowing the wiring in this house is really inadequate, and that my usual string of extension cords would be a dead give-a-way to that fact, I have worked to eliminate them.  Then there’s heating the inspector won’t like.  There’s all kinds of things about this house the inspector might not like.

Will he, can he make exceptions to his rules?  Will he overlook things in this poor house so its poor tenant can continue to live here?

Not knowing.  The unknown.  The helplessness and powerlessness and vulnerability and fear – no terror – I feel.  Dare I hope?

This is my home.  This and my gardens.  This spot on the earth I have found.  I do not want to move.  I cannot imagine moving.  Moving would be a malevolent traumatization to me that I can not imagine enduring or surviving.

If this house does not pass inspection, will my landlord alter-fix what needs to be done to make it pass?

I don’t know that, either.

If it comes to having to move from here to keep my valuable rental assistance voucher – what will I decide to do?

I do not know.

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Vulnerability is not good for me.  Being of low resources is not good for me, but it is the way my life is and I am grateful for all the programs I receive help from – at the same time I feel guilty, and feel sad for all those much needier than me, those with young children, all those who struggle – and I think I should have let my expiration date pass when my cancer came instead of fighting it, enduring, remaining alive, consuming resources that I cannot earn or pay for on my own.

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There’s a lot at risk.  There’s a lot at stake.  This strange man will come into my house, do his job, prowl around with his critical and meticulous eye, doing his job.  Will he look into every crack and crevice, every cupboard, every closet, peer here and there asking his questions, and will I be able to remain calm enough – not panic – not dissolve into the too-familiar tears that often come now when my anxiety erupts into escalated disaster-based emotions?

My home is my solace.  My infant-childhood abuse and trauma-related disabilities keep me mostly HERE in this place of my safety, security and comfort – such as I can wrest now from this world I abide in.  I do not leave here often, and do not go very far.  I can’t.

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Yesterday as I forced myself through the final stages of preparation for what FEELS LIKE an attack on my hard won well-being in my tiny corner of the world, I became very aware of my heightened depression and of its connection to one critically important state of existence.

In part because of my recent readings and study about how ALL attachment relationships are about PROTECTION first and foremost – protection of the BODY that holds the SELF – I realized that what triggers my deepest sadness (and it was triggered yesterday and certainly here it is today) – is the most ancient pervasive overwhelming state that I spent the first 18 years of my life in:

NOBODY is here to help me.  NOBODY is here to protect me.  NOBODY cares if I live or die (as an infant-child I was very aware they wanted me dead).  I am IN THIS ALONE.  I am desperate.  I am threatened.  My extinction is imminent.

I have to pause here and wait through my disorganized-disoriented storm, searching for words, for a pattern of thinking in words that I can reach for, grab onto, and follow as if dragged forward through time from this moment into the next one and the next one.

What?

I know I know it.  I know I know what I want to say.  I know that I am a self and that this self knows.  I know this scrambling is directly connected to how trauma formed my brain – my right brain, my left brain, the middle of the two – all changed by trauma so that thinking in words can be impossible at the same time emotions consume my body.

What?

I go back to the beginning.  No protection.  AHH!  That’s the word:  Self-preservation.

From the instant I was born if I was going to stay alive in the midst of violent trauma and abuse, if I was going to stay alive it was up to me to preserve my own self.

NOBODY as a tiny infant-toddler-child born tiny and helpless and needy and vulnerable and dependent SHOULD EVER HAVE TO KNOW THIS FEELING.

This is what I felt so strongly yesterday as I dragged my great depression and growing sadness about this inspection and all that hangs weighted in the balance.  This terrible sadness I drag around through my life as a ball-and-chain.

Being deprived by violent trauma and abuse without having a safe and secure attachment to ANYONE for 18 years – and surviving that IN SPITE of this fact – I self-preserved.  I persevered in my self-preservation – but there was and is a high, high cost.

That cost is sadness.

That cost is hurt.

When I read in the article posted yesterday about child abuse consequences that Substance P IS INVOLVED – as I know it is – I can now hang my sadness on that hook.  Being not only deprived for 18 years of ANY protection because I was deprived of ANY attachment – at the same time I was continually attacked by those same people nature had designated to be my caregivers – self-preservation grew and grew and took the place of what I needed and was SUPPOSED to have at the same time great pain and sadness grew within me at the same time.

Facing this inspection today with all the threat to my safety and security it entails, threatens also to overwhelm me with this sadness.  My abilities to self-preserve are coupled with this pain.

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+CLEAR ARTICLE ON LIFELONG INFANT-CHILD TRAUMA CONSEQUENCES

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Although I am nothing like a ‘scientific expert’ on the topics I present on this blog, I sure can recognize comprehensive outside support articles on what exposure to passive and active malevolent treatment including violent trauma (including emotional and verbal abuse), emotional neglect, physical neglect and unsafe and insecure early caregiver attachments do to change the physiological and psychological development of infants, toddler, children and teens.

This article by Dr. McCollum that I present here today presents the topic of what I call Trauma Altered Development (TAD) in a clear, lay-readable format.  For all the times that I have mentioned that I believe that TAD directly affects the human developing immune system, I find the material in this article supportive of my belief.

The term being used here, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) comes from our nation’s Center for Disease Control (CDC) and is working to standardize the measurement across scientific fields of study related to suffering in infant-childhood caused by trauma in a little one’s earliest environment.

One of my strongest suggestions for standardizing all research about infant-child abuse and its lifelong consequences would be implementation of a federal-state mandate that would require that every American receiving any kind of health care services fill out a CDC ACE study questionnaire and that the results of these reports be accumulated in a federal (confidential) databank.

The article that follows gives us convincing reasons for believing that making the connection between the overall well-being of our nation’s offspring is of critical national interest.  If the subject of infant-child lack of well-being, neglect and abuse ever crosses a person’s mind, the following is the kind of information that needs to inform their thinking.  (I believe many forms of arthritis and cancer belong to the ‘health consequence list’. We also can no longer ignore the epigenetic changes that child abuse often creates that can also be passed down the generations.)

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I located this March 2006 article today on the Minnesota Medicine website, and have copied it over onto my blog for educational purposes only (please click on article title to find the list of references):

Clinical and Health Affairs — Child Maltreatment and Brain Development

By David McCollum, M.D.

Abstract
“A growing body of research has linked childhood experiences of maltreatment with a host of physical conditions that manifest in adulthood. In addition, newer neuroimaging techniques have documented structural changes that occur in the brains of individuals who suffer early maltreatment. This article briefly reviews the literature on these topics and outlines the connection between abuse in childhood and health problems in adulthood.


It has long been observed that some children raised in violent, abusive, or neglectful settings grow up to express violence, anger, depression, or to be engaged in drug use, alcoholism, or criminal activity. The thinking has been that children copy what they see and hear. When anti-social behavior is the norm and when it is reinforced by adults in the environment, children repeat it. During the past 15 years, scientific and clinical research has begun to document that more is at work. Anatomical and functional alterations occur in the brains of children who are exposed to adverse events.1 Research has also shed light on the less obvious link between childhood abuse and lifetime physical and mental health outcomes.2,3 This article reviews some of the research showing the neurobiological, neuroanatomical, and physiological effects of early life stressors and how they might relate to ongoing medical problems later in life.

The Connection between Abuse and Disease
Repeated exposure to adverse or harmful events in childhood has been linked to many adult health consequences. The adverse experiences that have been studied most are sexual abuse, physical abuse, and neglect. Anda et al. identified additional experiences that influence health behavior and outcomes, including mother treated violently, mental illness, substance abuse, incarcerated household member, and parental separation or divorce.4 Because at least 30% of children in this country experience some form of child abuse prior to age 18, we can expect adverse childhood experiences to have a significant impact on the health care system.5

New technologies such as functional MRI, PET, and MRI/T2 relaxometry (T2-RT) have enabled scientists to identify the chemical and structural differences between the central nervous systems of abused and nonabused individuals.6,7 This research shows that many health problems—including panic disorder/post-traumatic stress disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, depression, some auto-immune disorders, suicidal tendencies, abnormal fear responses, preterm labor, chronic pain syndromes, and ovarian dysfunction—can be understood, in some cases, as manifestations of childhood maltreatment.8-13

Brain Development
An infant’s brain is equipped with an overabundance of neurons, synaptic potential, and dendrites. DNA is responsible for early brain development. But after birth, experience helps to determine which neurons will persist, which synapses will develop and become permanent, and which connections will take prominence or be subdued. Myelination, formation of the protective sheath surrounding nerve fibers, continues throughout childhood and, in some areas of the brain, into the third decade of life. This process establishes final, permanent linkages within the brain structures.14

The limbic system is the part of the brain most vulnerable to adverse childhood experiences. The system is made up of the amygdala, hippocampus, cingulate gyrus, thalamus, hypothalamus, and putamen. Related structures include the cerebellar vermis, prefrontal cortex, and visual and parietal cortex. The limbic system is responsible for the generation and control or inhibition of emotions. It is also involved in interpreting facial expressions and evaluating danger, is responsible for the fight-or-flight response to stress, and integrates emotional reactions and connects them with the physical response. Various components are also involved in memory, both implicit and explicit, and in learning (Table).

Brain Sequelae
Stress initiates a series of hormonal responses in the limbic system. The initial response to stress or danger is activation of the hypothalamic-pituitary- adrenal (HPA) axis. This occurs in the locus coeruleus and the sympathetic nervous system, causing a release of the hormones norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine. The amygdala reacts to this hormone release and, in turn, stimulates the hypothalamus to release corticotrophin-releasing factor (CRF). CRF, itself, acts as both a hormone, to stimulate adrenocorticotropin hormone (ACTH) secretion, and as a neurotransmitter, affecting areas of the cortex that are involved in executive functioning (eg, motivation, planning, and logic).15 Increasing ACTH secretion then leads to elevated glucocorticoids (cortisol). High levels of glucocorticoids have been shown to negatively affect the hippocampus, resulting in decreased dendritic branching, changes in synaptic terminal structure, and neuronal loss.16 A feedback mechanism in the hypothalamus and the hippocampus normally brings these levels back to their resting state.

If this process occurs repeatedly, CRF and glucocorticoids remain elevated, which eventually causes structural changes in the brain and impedes the feedback mechanism, leading to an imbalance in hormones and dysregulation of the HPA axis.17

Signs of Stress in the Brain
Several studies have shown a measurable reduction in the size of the amygdala, hippocampus (primarily the left side), corpus callosum, and the cerebellar vermis, and an increase in size of the putamen and lateral ventricles in both children and adults who experienced repeated childhood trauma.18-20 These changes are thought to be an effect of elevated glucocorticoid levels inhibiting myelination in these structures.14 Because most areas of the limbic system are high in glucocorticoid receptors, they are susceptible to the effects of early childhood abuse.

Functional changes have also been noted in the anterior cingulate gyrus and the visual and parietal cortex. Elevated resting levels of CRF have been found in the spinal fluid of abuse victims.21 Elevated T3 levels have also been found in patients with a history of childhood abuse.22

Dopamine, which is released during the stress response, stimulates areas of the prefrontal cortex, probably resulting in heightened attention and improved cognitive capacity. Chronic stress, however, appears to cause an overproduction of dopamine, which can result in reduced attention, increased overall vigilance, as well as a diminished capacity to learn new material and increased paranoid and psychotic behavior.23

Serotonin stimulates both anxiogenic and anxiolytic circuits, which create and reduce anxiety. Decreased serotonin levels in the prefrontal cortex have been found as a result of chronic stress. Suicidal behavior, depression, and aggression have been shown to result from low serotonin levels.

Substance P, a neuropeptide found throughout the body that participates in the pain response and inflammation, has been found at much higher levels in the spinal fluid of those with significant abuse history. Studies in rats showed that injecting high levels of substance P in the spinal fluid caused a significantly exaggerated pain response to a noxious stimulus.24

Related Health Problems
The health problems associated with these changes in the brain are significant. According to Anda et al., atrophy of the hippocampus, amygdala, and prefrontal cortex, and the subsequent dysfunction is related to anxiety, panic, depressed affect, hallucinations, and substance abuse. Increased locus coeruleus and norepinephrine activity have been related to tobacco use, alcoholism, illicit drug use, and injectable drug use. Defects in the amygdala and related deficits in oxytocin result in sexual aggression, sexual dissatisfaction, perpetration of intimate partner violence, and impaired pair bonding.4

Anderson et al. used a novel technology called static functional MRI T2 relaxometry (T2-RT) on a population that had experienced childhood sexual trauma and found evidence of significant changes in the cerebellar vermis in abused individuals compared with nonabused individuals.6 The vermis has been shown to play a role in suppressing excitability within the limbic system. The most consistent anatomical finding in children with ADHD is a reduction in the size of the cerebellar vermis. Other studies show similarities in hormonal changes in children with ADHD. Famularo showed a high correlation between traumatic family environments and ADHD comorbidity.25,26

Allsworth showed that dysfunction in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, common in people who have been abused, leads to ovarian dysfunction and early menopause.13 This is likely to increase the risk of cardiovascular disease in these women because estrogen is reduced prematurely and, therefore, its protective function is lost earlier, increasing risk for cardiovascular disorders. Another interesting finding is that early stress may lead to premature involution of the thymus gland. Anti-nuclear antibodies, which attack the body’s own tissues instead of foreign toxins and are frequently present in people with systemic lupus erythematosus, also have been found at higher levels in girls who have been sexually abused compared with those who have never experienced abuse.9

The link between fibromyalgia and sexual abuse has been extensively studied.27 Dysregulation of the HPA axis has been found in most patients with fibromyalgia.28 Substance P is found in high levels in this population. Irritable bowel syndrome has also been shown to be correlated with childhood sexual abuse, and higher levels of substance P have been found in the colonic mucosa of individuals who were maltreated as children. Also, increased glucocorticoid has been shown to act on the intra-abdominal adipocytes leading to increased fat storage.4 Findings that memory pathways are adversely affected by exposure to abuse may explain some amnesia, delayed recall of abuse, and dissociative disorders.29 Some authors consider conversion reactions and pseudoseizures a form of dissociative disorder.30 [bold type is mine]

Conclusion
For years, we have ignored the potential influence of childhood traumatic experiences on adult disease, preferring to look for genetic causes of disease and pure biochemical factors without considering experiential influences. Given new evidence that trauma in childhood alters the physiology of the brain, it is time for all physicians to be educated about the full health impact of violence and abuse and be trained to explore these issues as the true etiology of or an underlying potentiating factor that contributes to their patients’ maladies.”

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