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Day two of the ‘frozen pipes’ saga.  As most readers know, I live in southeastern Arizona with the Mexican-American border wall (actually two fences here) in my back yard.  This is about as far south as I can go and still remain in the Western U.S.  Having been mostly raised on an Alaskan mountain homestead, and having spent much of my adult life around Fargo, North Dakota, I know ‘life in the north’.  But here?

As I mentioned, most of us in this rural area have no insulation in our houses and only the flimsiest of single-pane windows.  Last night our temperatures dropped to 5 degrees above with a windchill of minus 20.  Because of the lessons I thought I learned yesterday (as I mentioned in Part One) I was all geared up last night before I went to bed to do things RIGHT.

I thought about it and decided that rather than tax the hot water heater (and its corresponding gas bill) that it would probably be ‘good enough’ if I just left my cold water faucets running enough to keep them from freezing.  OK, but then comes the part I didn’t anticipate — along with some more DUMB LUCK.

My cold water was still running out of my faucets this morning — but!!!  I’m not sure how my luck allowed this to happen, but both of my sinks were filled within a quarter inch of their brim as the sewer lines appear to be frozen.

I did not anticipate THAT, and boy am I glad I didn’t wake up to completely flooded floors!

So, where is the problem?  In thinking about it, I really don’t know.  I don’t know if these frozen lines are ONLY MINE or if they are frozen just in this trailer court my house sits in the middle of or if they are frozen in this entire unincorporated little town of 700 people.  I COULD ask someone, but I am much more aligned personally with the ‘wait and see’ solution.

Meanwhile I notice the town itself is eerily quiet this morning.  Because over 98% of the town has connections in Mexico, I imagine that many families (if they are having problems in their homes similar to mine) simply packed up and headed south to their family there.

I know the poverty on THAT side of the border is far worse than it is on this side, but I also understand that even if all of the town’s water and sewer lines are frozen ‘down south’ that wouldn’t make a whole lot of difference to these people.  I have watched these families over the 11 years I have lived among them and know that BEING TOGETHER is their best solution to everything — good or bad.

And here I am, Ms. White Chick (not sure at 59 that I’m still a chick, but??) alone in my house wondering — thinking — about all of this.

Of course my children living in Fargo know cold (as I well remember it) far worse than ours here.  But they EXPECT the cold up there and are far better prepared in every way to cope with the problems it does and can create.  At this point in my life  ‘down south’ is where I choose to be — alone or not!

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This all has me thinking about how likely it seems to me that bonds that connect members of our social species evolved within environments where we directly and immediately NEEDED ONE ANOTHER.  Most importantly, WE KNEW THIS FACT!

In today’s very urban America it seems that perhaps many of us do not live lives where our need for one another IN THE BIG PICTURE remains on our mental ‘front burner’.  In thinking about the growing gaps in the world between those that HAVE more than they need materially in contrast to those that DO NOT HAVE enough of what they need, I also think (wonder about) the fact that what is true in the United States is equally true around the globe.

For the most part the wealth-gap planet wide exists between those in the NORTH versus those in the SOUTH.  This is demographically very true in the United States at the same time it is true around the globe with the economic well-being and lack of well-being split that exists between humans who live in the Northern hemisphere versus those that live in the Southern hemisphere.

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I am not a Scholar so I am not mentally prepared to contemplate the answers to the many questions I find myself asking about ‘life’ — particularly human life.  Due to the way my body-brain was changed in its physiological development due to severe, extreme, chronic terrible abuse and trauma from the time of my birth, I already DO KNOW that the way my OWN right and left brain hemispheres do not collect, process, store or contemplate any information in a ‘normal or ordinary’ way (like it is meant to and does with people who benefited from safe and secure attachment relationships in their earliest body-brain formative years).

I mention this because I can FEEL my own questioning in MY BODY.  My questioning exists probably primarily in my right brain hemisphere, fed by my feelings that my body feeds to my right brain — but my questions seem to lie mostly in some unseen vast deep ocean ‘over there’ where my rational, logical, linear, sequential, verbal language-based LEFT brain hemisphere can’t get to them!

Even this experience of WONDERING can be an extremely intense and difficult to regulate emotional state.  WONDERING — connected to HOPE on the one end and to FEAR and awareness of the unknown on the other.

I don’t expect that our species made huge progress toward survival by being stuck very often in the state of simply WONDERING.  WONDERING when the next big animal was going to pounce, or when the next rival tribe was going to appear for a competitive slaughter, or wondering where the herbs needed to heal MIGHT be — or wondering how to stay warm in the north, or wondering how to even care for a newborn — NOPE!  Minimal survival benefit to being stuck in the wondering stage UNLESS it can stimulate thinking toward a positive solution.

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BUT, for our species thinking ALONE probably had little to do with our mutual survival as a species unless the thoughts of the ONE were shared with the MANY.  I believe we are designed for this GROUPTHINK.  If I add here a fact that is primarily left out of the Western worldview way of thinking, and that is that FEELINGS are also a form of thinking without words, I would also say that GROUPFEEL is just as important as GROUPTHINK.  In fact, if feelings are left out of the equation for survival, we suffer from our own LEFT-RIGHT brain hemisphere split that in itself creates a form of poverty for humans individually and collectively.

When I feel-think this morning about the probable evacuation of many of my neighbors over the southern border as they seek to be among those closest to them right now in this rare cold spell and the problems it is causing, I am the one out-of-place in being alone.  As I think about the global economic North-South split I think about the cultural worldview differences that seem to mean that so many in the north are alienated from feeling-thinking unity in their own body as they are split off from feeling-thinking in GROUP.

That means to me that the true values that matter most are abundant within the economic poverty of the Southern arm of the human species, while these most important GROUPTHINK (groupfeel) connections are far more likely to be shattered into tiny fragments in the North.

If I think about HUMANS being HUMANS’ most important resource, it isn’t the isolated materialistic disconnected (even in one’s own body between feelings and ‘thoughts’ — body and mind) Northern (European-rooted-‘Western’-thinking) arm of our species that has kept this resource at the center of their lives, their value systems and their civilization.  If I connect my feeling thoughts with my word thoughts I know that being ‘a part’ (which is the foundational assumption in the mechanistic Western worldview) leaves us being apart from one another in profound ways that do not happen among members of our species who have NEVER truly adopted the Western worldview.

I can sit here alone, heating large pans of water to pour down my drain in hopes I can thaw frozen sewer lines IF they are frozen only at MY source, my house, all I want to.  At the same time my heart-of-hearts would much rather be ‘over the border’ in a different land so that I could be ‘a part’ of a much larger connected community.  I would rather be sitting in a tiny adobe house crammed with all ages of people from babies to old people joshing around in a sea of warmth, humor and community as we together pass time while a mutual solution is found to all problems one moment to the next using GROUPTHINK that INCLUDES GROUPFEEL

+THINKING ABOUT THINKING (PART ONE): WHOSE PROBLEM IS IT?

+THINKING ABOUT THINKING (PART TWO): FIRST, SELF-RECOGNITION

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