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See:  *1959 Homesteading Photos

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June 24, 1959 Wednesday – letter from Mother to her mother

Dear Mom,

Just a note to enclose with Sharon’s precious drawings.  She loves to work with her pencil and paper and I think does very well.  She especially loves to draw houses, people, and Humpty Dumpty and Jack-O-Lanterns – these she brings to me and says “Doesn’t it scare you?”  She always writes on her things [scribble lines] very industriously and then reads it to me!!

I’ve been inside for three days – today they’ve been so good and sweet.  Bill stayed home to help me – He had a severe case of diarrhea Sunday and yet had promised to bring Pollard up with our tractor to bring down Buttner’s things and went anyways.  Oh, Sunday was ‘a peculiar day’!  Bill spent all day on that and when finally got home he collapsed on the bed for first time – he never takes time to even sit any more – just go, go, go – I worry over him he’s so THIN now – but anyways – he’d no sooner gone to sleep then I heard a car.  Now no car or jeep has ever been up here since we moved back here.  I felt like a desert person in search of water – oasis and all – only me, imagining cars – but sure enough it was a jeep and Pollard driving it so proud to have been the first to make it.  He had a couple – oh 45 or so – who had planned to homestead beyond Thomas and land office refused so he was to show them Buttner’s place.

They stopped here and loved it!!  She’s quite a character – one boy senior in high school.  Both work on base.  She kept saying “What will you do in winter?”  “Aren’t you afraid of bears?” – And Mom, I felt like a ‘real sourdough’ and old timer as I heard her talk.

They had an old dilapidated looking jeep only paid $150.00 for so didn’t care whether hurt it or not.  I sat in back – open with her and went up to Buttner’s.  Wanted to see it again.

We thought he’d never make it and were laughing so hard but that old beat up jeep got there!!

All the land is teriffically [sic] scenic on way up and many perfect spots for cabins but it’s all our land.

You don’t get to Buttner’s til you dead-end against mountains and drop off to creek.  His was a tiny valley with hills on both sides and view of dead-end of mountains below.  Pretty but gives me claustrophobia – which I have lately anyways.  (I hate being shut up in this D – HUT!!)

Many bear droppings up there at Buttner’s and it’s scary!  I’d want you close to us on your visits not a half mile up there, I’d worry myself sick over you!!

You’ll see when you come.  Anyways, her working and all I doubt if they’ll file on it and I bet Buttner wants $ back for his road.

All of Buttner’s land is really mountain – different than ours.

Well, then Bill not feeling well and all he went to bed at 10:00 for first time.  I couldn’t sleep (I have terrible insomnia here – all six of us in one room and so light outside and so much on my mind).  Anyways again I heard a motor.  This time I was really flabbergasted.  10:00 visitors?  I rushed to door and sure enough it was Barbee.  We got up and I was scared thinking maybe forest fire or something but no, just came for a visit.  Now isn’t that something – a freeway no less and Bill didn’t think a jeep could make it.  As he says it’s too bad for one and Barbee was shocked at road but didn’t know we didn’t drive it.  He’d been out horse back riding and when returned decided he’d stop up to see us – at least four miles of bad road.

Well, I made coffee and we had crackers and cheese.  Thank goodness for my redwood furniture for visitors to sit on outdoors as I can’t bring them in with all four children asleep in one room.

He left shortly and we undressed and went back to bed.

Well, Bill tried to drive last night but too tough on our jeep.

Bill stayed home Monday – still didn’t feel well.

I planted some more vegetables (really too late now and Oh Mom, tomatoes can’t be grown here except in hot house – nor can cucumbers or corn).  It’s a shame!  But thanks anyways.

Monday late we had rain – had our first real thunderstorm here in Alaska Saturday and rain!  Torrents of rain.

I had stomach aches.  Tuesday Bill returned to work and I felt weak and poor.  John had stomach aches and Cindy poor darling, had RUNS all day! – and No bathroom.  You just can’t imagine how terrible and pouring rain outside and all our wood wet.  Terrible day.  Poor Sharon was sickest and scared me so.  She went every 15 minutes and threw up even water at same time and then went into deep sleep.  I don’t know what I would have done without John and Linda.  They helped me gt meals and read stories to Cindy and poor Linda even helped me gather wood and empty ‘potty’.  She never was at all sick but tonight said had a stomach ache so tomorrow she’ll probably have it too.

Last night I was sick, discouraged, lovely and blue.  This Damn hut got me down.  I had fixed place up and cleaned up before Bill got home but then Cindy threw up buckets and I didn’t have heart to cook dinner and was too weak by then.

I got to thinking and all I wanted was to see all of you.  I’d been blue for days anyways.

Mom – not even a battery radio here – I haven’t even heard the radio or seen T.V. since March!!!

Oh, it will be worth it and on sunny days it’s nice but I do get lonely and I can’t go anywhere myself – I don’t even dare to walk for fear of bears.

The grass and all is four feet tall now!

Yesterday we were in a fog and cloud – I couldn’t see at all and even hated to go off to empty potty.  Very depressing, scarey [sic] and blue.

Last night for first time I cried and cried.  I truly hated it here then and knew you must never try it alone.  Last night I felt imprisoned with a seven month sentence!  It’s rather like that.

We’re so financially strapped and can’t even go to a movie alone.  I hadn’t been since January first and other day – last week we took kids and went.  I was so tired by time it was over and couldn’t enjoy movie knowing we had 14 mile trip to Eagle River and 14 miles ‘back in’ and then the damn tractor ride.  We were all dressed up and it’s pretty awful to have to stop and put on old clothes and mosquito repellant and all on for last one mile stretch and then sit in two-wheel open trailer –

UGH!

Well last night I’d had it.  I told Bill I’d pay 1,000 to see you and Charlie and Carolyn.

I wanted to go to Carolyn’s [her sister-in-law in Los Angeles] and have a peanut butter sandwich (hers are so delicious always!) and iced coffee and sit on her patio like we used to.

I planned how I’d come and surprise you!

Well, Bill said O.K. I could come – Air Force would pay but I’m scared to fly – imagine me being here and I’m scared to fly and then I’d lose one month here and have to stay longer in winter and I’d need $ for a few clothes for kids and Bill would be all alone (he’d probably accomplish far more!)

Well today I had the RUNS and weak?  Oh, OH, OH.  I’ve been so sick to my stomach you’d swear I was pregnant.

Bill stayed home and helped.  He did dishes (first time here and now can sympathize with me having to heat water and all) and got breakfast and lunch.  I couldn’t eat.

Tonight I’m better and the runs have stopped.

We can hear the creek, the waterfalls and the river – they’re all so full after the rain.  The clouds have lifted and all is sweet and beautiful outside.

I love it here and someday we’ll have our road and house – but oh, how lonesome I am for all of you.  It’s all I want – to see you and then return.

It’s been a big change – moving here and living like this – it piles up on you!!

Well, this turned out to be a long letter and I feel better for writing it!

I miss YOU and love YOU!

Shall I come?

I could OR would you rather come here.

I hate to travel with all four.

Bill won’t have vacation now until next summer.

His two years are up now and if he reenlists [with the civilian Army Corp of Engineers] (signs up for two more) then we’re entitled to come to California and back free – and then in another two years – otherwise he loses it.

Help me decide.

Probably I should stay here!

Love

Children’s books arrived but I’ve been too sick to look at them but will.  Thanks!

P.S.  I’d like to drive down and Bill says NO!

P.S. II  We’ve had glorious weather and I’m tanned and so are kids.  We needed the rain – hope we’ll have more sun though.

Hope you can decipher – written hurriedly by kerosene lamp you sent.

Can you send me some sleeping pills?

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I wonder if we didn’t often suffer from food poisoning from lack of refrigeration.  I’ve NEVER had a stomach ache since I left home like I (and the rest of the family) had while we were growing up.

The ‘hut’ was the canvas covered Jamesway like a Quonset – I have a disk of slides my brother sent down from Alaska that I have yet to take a look at, will post those homesteading pics when I do

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