+INFO IN COMBO (Can you imagine living a good life for 110 years?)


Sunday, April 17, 2016.  Things that I wanted to mention in a blog post are piling up, and I am afraid if I don’t take a few moments to note some of them here this evening I will lose some information that is important to me as this time of my life is a’passing by with me in it.



Along with April being Child Abuse Prevention month it is also Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month.  I want to mention an excellent blog with information about children “on the ASD spectrum”  (Austism Spectrum Disorder).

I am mentioning here in this post for the first time the incredible journey it has been since my arrival in Fargo October 12, 2013 to help my daughter with her family.  It was quite an ordeal of a struggle to finally get the accurate ASD diagnosis for the older of my two grandsons when he was four.  He is finishing his first year in kindergarten now and with all the love, care and services he has and is receiving he is making incredible progress.

There has to be a very steep learning curve regarding ASD awareness for everyone involved in the care of very young children.  The younger they are when they receive their accurate diagnosis the sooner they receive services specific to their own “version” of growth, development and existence.



It was extremely important – no, it was VITAL – that I move up here to Fargo because of the needs of my little grandsons  – but I have to leave here before next winter arrives (probably moving in September).  Leaving my grandsons will be excruciatingly difficult but I CANNOT remain here.  I am, quite literally it seems, completely allergic to the “excessive hardships” of this location.  (I have SO “been there done that” over the course of my childhood and adult life!)

I need the sunshine and warmth (Fargo has MAYBE had 15 sunny days in nearly 8 months), color of blue skies, red rock mountain views, rural living, small towns, laid back people, some privacy, flowers, nature, QUIET and peace – I need to return to the Arizona-Mexico high desert borderland if AT ALL POSSIBLE!

(I did at least get to now plant something in my 9 white 5-gallon plastic buckets set on the little cement slab outside my door this week with Romaine lettuce, Swiss Chard, snapdragons, pansies and poppies.)

Which leads me to my next batch of thoughts – about —



About a month ago a picture of a whale breaking water appeared in my facebook news feed along with a note that fascinated me.  I went back to find it and could not.  I even posted a request to find the person who posted this everywhere I could think of to no avail.  Oh well!

What I remember of those words was a description of how animals speak a language – the 1st language; humans speak in the language of our words – the 2nd language; and then, this person mentioned – there is yet another 3rd language – the language of PRAYER!

I rely exclusively on the prayers HERE because I believe with many others that they are divinely inspired.  Yet I know among all the followers of all the world’s faiths there are inspired prayers from the heart that are also powerful!

If nothing else, the difficulties of my length of stay here at this point in my life have lead me to rely on prayer like never before – and this is a very good thing!  I pray a lot of the whole human race.  There is a LOT of suffering going on – and while I can try to do my own small part to be of service to humanity – I do believe that prayer is more important than anything else I can come up with to do.

We are in so many ways “an endangered species” – with a Creator Who loves us more than we can ever begin to imagine.  But we do insist, it seems to me, on being willfully disobedient kidz – and I do wonder how much longer we will be allowed to continue down our so hurtful and destructive path!  We CAN – and I believe NEED TO – ask for HELP so that it can be provided to us.



I want to mention a book I just finished reading.  It is one my daughter (mother of my grandsons) is using as a required reading in the college course she is teaching right now (required as a component of her doctorate program).

I cannot emphasize enough how important a read I think this book is for many, many reasons!!  Once I resettle myself again this fall I am hoping to organize an informal book club reading and study of this profoundly important tale of two INCREDIBLE (centurion) women!

Having Our Say: The Delany Sisters’ First 100 Years

by Sarah L. Delany and A. Elizabeth Delany with Amy Hill Hearth (1993)

Sarah Louise “Sadie” Delany was an African-American educator and civil rights pioneer — Born: September 19, 1889, Campbell County, Virginia –Died: January 25, 1999, Mount Vernon, NY – lived 110 years!

Annie Elizabeth “Bessie” Delany was an African-American dentist and civil rights pioneer  – Born:  September 3, 1891, Raleigh, North Carolina – Died:  September 25, 1995, Mt. Vernon, NY — lived 104 years!

Warm, feisty, and intelligent, the Delany sisters speak their mind in a book that is at once a vital historical record and a moving portrait of two remarkable women who continued to love, laugh, and embrace life after over a hundred years of living side by side.

Their sharp memories show us the post-Reconstruction South and Booker T. Washington; Harlem’s Golden Age and Langston Hughes, W.E.B. Du Bois, and Paul Robeson. Bessie breaks barriers to become a dentist; Sadie quietly integrates the New York City system as a high school teacher. Their extraordinary story makes an important contribution to our nation’s heritage—and an indelible impression on our lives.”

There are two more titles I want to order and read –  I just haven’t gotten that far yet!!

On My Own at 107: Reflections on Life Without Bessie by Sarah Louise Delany and Amy Hill Hearth (Feb 1997)

The Delany Sisters’ Book of Everyday Wisdom Hardcover

by Sarah Louise Delany, Annie Elizabeth Delany with Amy Hill Hearth (Nov 1994)


There are two more important books on order I am excited to read – written by A MAN WITH ZEZRO ACES!!  WOW – I cannot imagine!  He has important things to say about (I added this book’s info as a postscript to my last post) —

The ACEs Revolution!: The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences

by John Richard Trayser (Jan 25, 2016)

John’s book does a superb job of giving hope on how to prevent ACEs and has remarkable results for EVERY FAMILY THAT READS THE SECOND PART OF THE BOOK OUT LOUD TOGETHER! Conversations will begin that are essential to heartfelt communication. The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study details the significant impact of childhood trauma on the emotional and physical well being for the remainder of your life. John’s book does a great job of showing the IMPACT of ACEs in all phases of our lives…and WE ARE ALL IMPACTED…even if you have zero ACEs yourself. This book gives hope to those who have lived in the shadows of pain and vulnerability from trauma in their childhood. His adopted grand daughter was a 7 ACE score…and after 9 years of love from the family…feels like a ZERO! You can change your stars with LOVE.”

Trayser is boldly advocating NO MORE ACES – and this 2nd book of his is about healing the families all children are born into –

Functional Family Workbook:  206 Things You Can Do To Raise Happy and Confident Children!

by John Richard Trayser (Jan 25, 2010)

The Functional Family Workbook lists 206 ideas and activities that will let your children KNOW THAT YOU CARE! That is the most important part of raising children. They don’t need perfection, or lots of money and things…they are hungry to KNOW that you care. If truly USED with the children…discussions will begin that will cement that notion. Children don’t care WHAT you know…UNTIL they know how much you care!”

Trayser also has a third book that I am not ordering at this time:

A Greatful Dad: 9 Practices For Building and Restoring the Relationship You Envisioned with Your Kids

by John Richard Trayser (Jan 25, 2016)

A Greatful Dad challenges parents who were not connected emotionally with their parents. There are ways to heal the family and they usually center around communication. More caring and love provide the path to the hearts of our children. This book provides real life tools that can establish a connection that makes all parties involved happier and more confident in their lives. A life with no regrets at the end is to be cherished. Without joy, purpose and caring…life can be lonely and painful. Their is HOPE in these pages!”



Although I understand why the term “dysfunctional” is still being used to describe human interactions, I will personally NEVER use it!  As one of my art therapy graduate school professors so often insisted, “HUMANS ARE NOT PENCIL SHARPENERS!”

Nope.  We are not machines.  We are not mechanized.  We might not LIKE certain things about human patterns, but we are organic, living beings each living our lives given “what we know to be true.”

People are all ignorant of something!  Many are also very immature and many are sick.  Teach people!  Help them to grow up!  Help heal people!

All the books I listed above are about these processes.  I hope to eventually hold book studies with all of these books in combination because as the Delany sisters describe their lives – they HAD the kind of family life of love and health that Trayser is no doubt describing.

I DID MOST CERTAINLY NOT grow up in a healthy loving family!!!  Nope!!  I suspect that most readers of this blog did not, either.  We can acquire a lot of great things to think about by reading books such as the ones listed here.

And, of course, the American history the Delany sisters lived through and talk about in their book is also a MUST READ – for ALL Americans!  Our society is BECOMING healthier but we still have a long way to go.  The more information we can add to our considerations and actions toward healing – the better!


Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.


Leave a Comment »


Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s